Cultivating Love.
Think for a moment about your best friend and all the reasons you cherish him or her. Now, imagine that person suffering. What would you do to alleviate their pain? Pretty much anything in your power, right? What about your neighbor? To what lengths would you be willing to go to alleviate their suffering? How about a complete stranger? What action would you take on their behalf? And finally, think of a person who has harmed you: are you willing to help them discover happiness?
Think for a moment about your best friend and all the reasons you cherish him or her. Now, imagine that person suffering. What would you do to alleviate their pain? Pretty much anything in your power, right? What about your neighbor? To what lengths would you be willing to go to alleviate their suffering? How about a complete stranger? What action would you take on their behalf? And finally, think of a person who has harmed you: are you willing to help them discover happiness?
These questions are the opening to the practice of cultivating love. I must stress that I'm calling this a practice because that is exactly what it is. Just like an athlete doesn't win an Olympic gold medal the first time they attempt the high jump, you aren't going to wake up enlightened tomorrow after reading this article. Like any strength, you have to dedicate yourself to the practice of loving, and sometimes it is really difficult.
I began this practice back in 2006 when I bought the book, "How to Expand Love," by the Dalai Lama. After a divorce in 2005 that left my faith in love shaken, I thought this book was going to be a self-help tool for my personal recovery. I was terribly disappointed to find it was mostly about meditation. At the time, I wasn't a big fan of sitting still and thinking about nothing. (I just actually laughed out loud as I typed this, because for many years now, my daily routine involves at least 45 cherished minutes of meditation time.) Right now, you are probably thinking what I thought back then: "How will meditating on love help me deal with loss?" The simple truth is that it builds your courage, determination and compassion.
You are already really good at loving your friends, and probably your neighbor, too so I'd like to focus on cultivating love for those who are suffering and those who have harmed or taken advantage of you. By focusing your efforts on a more challenging task, you'll see greater results. This is a practice, one you'll have to commit to daily, while also forgiving yourself when you suffer from the human condition. (Which is 100% of the time.)
One of the best places to start developing compassion for those who suffer, is from the place of your own suffering. Do whatever you must to get comfortable and quiet, then meditate for five minutes. Write this thought down on a piece of paper and hold in your hands (and heart) as you meditate on it:
"(This person/group) is suffering terribly and I understand the way it affects their well-being, health, relationships and stability. My own adversity acts as a substitute for their pain. I know they wish to feel happiness and a sense of belonging, as I do. I wish for them a complete release of suffering and all that it causes, and I commit being a source of help and happiness for them. I will increase my ability to love for their sake."
The same meditation applies for those who have harmed you. Before you allow anger to creep up on you and take over, try viewing them as a human being, suffering from the human condition, knowing they, like you, wish to be happy. Yes, this is incredibly difficult. However, the payoff is all for you. If you keep practicing this you will, over time, find yourself less reactive to situations and people. You will find courage to stand in a space of loving firmness when someone takes advantage of you. And most importantly, you will develop an all-pervasive sense of compassion for every sentient being.
This practice has helped me let go of difficult people and situations much faster than I otherwise would have. Instead of holding on to the pain, or imagining the ways you are going to avenge wrongdoing, imagine looking upon the person who has hurt you and having the thought: "Oh, there she/he is, being human again."
Meditation is a time and space you create to rewire thought patterns. As you cultivate love for others, you are increasing the joy, peace and happiness in your own life.
Have you ever given yourself the hug test?
The next time you find yourself in an embrace with anyone, notice where your intention is. Are you giving them your love? Or are you receiving it? Of course, it's possible to do both, but you might be surprised if you actually pay attention next time. Love must be nourished, cultivated daily and whether or not we are subconsciously giving can help us see where we might want change to create more love around us.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Clean. Clear. Complete.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a backyard BBQ with a group of close friends who are planning a cross-country move in the near future. One of the hardest aspects of moving is dealing with all the STUFF we accumulate. You know: the basement, the attic, the garage, the junk drawer. As we discussed what to do about their grown children's belongings that remain stashed away I said, "Memories belong in your head, not the basement." True, true...I suppose that fresh Wisconsin air was inspiring me.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a backyard BBQ with a group of close friends who are planning a cross-country move in the near future. One of the hardest aspects of moving is dealing with all the STUFF we accumulate. You know: the basement, the attic, the garage, the junk drawer. As we discussed what to do about their grown children's belongings that remain stashed away I said, "Memories belong in your head, not the basement." True, true...I suppose that fresh Wisconsin air was inspiring me.
At the Winter Solstice on December 21, 2013, I set a goal to "Lighten up!" by the Summer Solstice that just occurred this week. For me, lightening up meant I wanted to reduce the "stuff" in my home by 30%, let go of old habits, and attend to any business that may be lingering around, unfinished.
I've made amazing progress, one step at a time. I saved the bigger areas, like the basement, for a day off. But I made a few hours several times a week to tackle something: a closet, a shelf, some drawers. The trick is to just stick with it. Once I completed the purging, I went back and did it again. There are always those things that one just cannot part with for some reason. I had a cashmere sweater in my closet for several years that I wore on one of the worst days of my life. Countless times I picked it up, put it on, and felt funny, and I changed out of it. I never wore it again, but it was a perfectly good cashmere sweater, and now sentimental, too. Out the door it went during Round Two! When tackling a goal like this yourself, as you look around your home, remember that everything holds energy and affects your mood. Do you have photos of your loved ones displayed from their very best days? Look around at everything, does it hold a good memory or a negative one?
Once I finished cleaning and clearing, I burned ceremonial sage throughout the house to clear the energy, too.
In my work as a medium I have seen countless families ripped apart by the "stuff." I remember so clearly a reading I did years ago where the patriarch of the family had passed and he communicated, "All my life I worked so hard to build stability for my family, and since I've passed, everything I worked for has only ripped them apart." Remember; everything that is truly important goes with you to the afterlife.
Clearing out a family home after a passing, especially a child's room, is a huge challenge. Everything becomes sentimental, right down to the dirty socks. There is definitely no right or wrong way to do it. It's all about whatever works for you. Certain spaces become sacred to us after a passing, and it's vital that we allow ourselves the process we need to move through our grief.
Completing the task means taking care of all the outlying, unfinished business. This is often the INWARD aspect of an OUTWARD process. The house is clean, the closets are nearly empty and organized...what else do you need to complete? Small things around the house are omnipresent for any homeowner; but let's think a little deeper. Do you need to return borrowed items? Have you meant to share a belonging or gift with someone? Is there any outstanding paperwork dragging you down? Is there a person with whom you've had regrettable words and need to reconnect? Just pause for a few minutes and think about things that really need to be completed to make you feel whole, free and ready to move forward.
Cleaning up the space of someone you love after a loss is an incredibly hard job to tackle. Just keep reminding yourself...the most important "things" are not things at all.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Healing Your Heart with Art.
Creativity and expression can be a real game changer after a loss. Do you love the singer Adele? (who doesn't!?) It's well know that her hit album 21, was a result of channeling her depression and heartbreak into her music. I've met amazing bereaved parents and siblings who have turned their grief into heartwarming, and sometimes best-selling, books. Painting, drawing, sewing...any type of active creativity can be an inspiring way to change the energy of loss into one of reward. As long as it's got Soul, you are on the right track!
Creativity and expression can be a real game changer after a loss. Do you love the singer Adele? (who doesn't!?) It's well know that her hit album 21, was a result of channeling her depression and heartbreak into her music. I've met amazing bereaved parents and siblings who have turned their grief into heartwarming, and sometimes best-selling, books. Painting, drawing, sewing...any type of active creativity can be an inspiring way to change the energy of loss into one of reward. As long as it's got Soul, you are on the right track!
"The true work of art is born from the 'artist': a mysterious, enigmatic and mystical creation. It detaches itself from him, it acquires an autonomous life, becomes a personality, an independent subject, animated with a spiritual breath, the living subject of a real existence of being. "
- Wassily Kandinsky
I had an exciting opportunity last week to view the Kandinsky Retrospective at the Milwaukee Art Museum. What you may not know about me is that I have spent twice as many years as a professional artist as I have as a medium. My family is rich with extraordinary artists, and with their support, I sold my first painting at the tender age of 8. I'll never forget the moment a 10-dollar bill was pressed into my hand in exchange for my watercolor painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. All those years ago, one of my most valuable life lessons was ignited: Do what you love to earn your daily bread.
Currently on my easel: putting the finishing touches on the phoenix birds.
By my mid-30s I was getting commissions for murals all over the U.S. and Bahamas, when I began to notice a discontent creeping up within me. It worsened with every passing year and job I undertook. No one understood why I was unhappy with my work because everyone assumed that being an artist means you are living your dream! I worked solely on commission and I found my niche as a highly-skilled tromp l'oeil muralist. The discontent became unbearable to me while working on 50 feet of scaffolding painting a domed ceiling in an incredible residence. I mean this joint was NUTS! I was spending my days decorating homes. Homes that were already gorgeous. Making them prettier. And when the time came, my art would get painted over and forgotten. Everyone thought I was crazy for leaving my talent behind when I announced I was going to work as a medium full time. But the heart had gone out of the art for me. My subject matter was dictated by the client and I was simply the hired hand to make it happen. I ended my painting career on a wonderful note however, with a 60 foot mural that I was actually allowed to create and have fun with that is located in the Mead Public Library in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
How does Kandinsky play into all of this? He wrote a book in 1910, "On the Spiritual in Art," and his outlining theory for all of his creations is that art must possess INNER MEANING. If you do just a little research on his work, you'll find he often describes the energetic vibration of his creations and colors. I have studied the use color extensively in both theory and as a therapy. The color with which we swath our walls sets the tone for everything that happens in the room. You can definitely change the energy of a home simply by painting the walls a different color.
Here's another great quote of Kandinsky's:
"The sun melts all of Moscow down to a single spot that, like a mad tuba, starts all of the heart and all of the soul vibrating. But no, this uniformity of red is not the most beautiful hour. It is only the final chord of a symphony that takes every colour to the zenith of life that, like the fortissimo of a great orchestra, is both compelled and allowed by Moscow to ring out."
Not everyone's "gets" Kandinsky's work; it's not conventionally beautiful like a field of flowers might be. Large, green circles represent the human soul, and a strong, red line can represent the sword of St. George. The best part of it all is that it makes you think. You have to look harder, far beyond the obvious, and FEEL your way through his paintings. Ohhhhh, I love that!
I'm still an artist, probably more so now than I ever was when I accepted money in exchange for my creations. Now, everything I paint is for the pure joy of expression and love it brings me. I got the heart back in my art!
Now, it's your turn. What artistic mediums speak to you? Is it music--like Adele--or painting, gardening, writing, maybe decorating your space in a unique and beautiful way? By embracing art with the intention of expressing the deepest part of your soul, you can not only release your pain, you can watch it grow into something unexpected...even breathtaking.
And who cares if nobody "gets it." Art is an expression of ourselves, not necessarily for other eyes, but rather to fill the hollow spaces of our souls by transforming our pain into a one-of-a-kind celebration of survival. After all, it is by seeing the beauty in our experience that we find the strength to transform, and heal ourselves.
Note: After posting this message, I received this photo from a bereaved mother who is doing a cross stitch tribute of her daughter, Laura. Incredible! Love in action....to Laura's family...thank you for allowing me to share her beauty.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Authenticity. It's the word of the day.
Lately I find myself in situations where the people around me are not being true to themselves. It's a curious thing, as these are dear friends whom I love, and of course...the truth eventually comes out. It often takes a bit of coaxing, and assurance that their truth is safe with me.
One is a dear friend and a bereaved mother. I've always encouraged her to be whatever/whomever she is in any particular moment...
Lately I find myself in situations where the people around me are not being true to themselves. It's a curious thing, as these are dear friends whom I love, and of course...the truth eventually comes out. It often takes a bit of coaxing, and assurance that their truth is safe with me.
One is a dear friend and a bereaved mother. I've always encouraged her to be whatever/whomever she is in any particular moment. She's a pillar of strength, grace and humor, and a constant source of inspiration for me. One evening during dinner, she suddenly exclaimed, "You always say I should just be honest about how I'm doing or feeling, and I'll tell you, every single day I try to hide that on the inside I am in absolute agony over the loss of my son. IT HURTS SO BAD SOMETIMES I CAN'T BREATHE."
Wow! Now that's powerful! Do you think I slithered under the table and said, "I can't bear witness to your pain?" No way! It touched a part of me: the part that doesn't know her pain, the part that can't even comprehend it. It touched the part of me that loves her deeply. A true friend actually can bear witness to your pain. They can cry with you, or sit with you, then go get a glass of wine with you and get back to the present moment. Anyone can learn to listen with compassion and empathy. Even a stranger can bear witness to another soul's suffering. Of course no one can "fix" grief for you, and we can't "fix" a lot of life problems, but what we can do is be authentic about handling them with love, no matter who owns them.
The other situation emerged during deep discussion with a friend. He said, "I don't know how to say this..." I interrupted him and said, "Wait a moment, why would you be worried about how you are sharing with me in this moment? Just spit it out as it comes to you." He had been holding back authentic feelings and thoughts because he was worried about how I would receive them. In reality, his words were a gift.
Chances are, we're all guilty of being inauthentic. If I had a nickel for every time I said "I'm fine," when someone asks me, "How are you?".....well, let's just say I'd have a LOT of spare change.
Authenticity is an interesting topic to consider. Nobody wants to keep company with someone who is always critical or nay-saying to new ideas, but the point of having a close friend is to share yourself. So, it's important to ask ourselves whether we are being authentic. Do you speak your truth, or do you use a heavy filter so everything comes across as socially acceptable? Do you edit yourself to try to make yourself appear strong? Capable? Confident? Are you really contributing the best of who you are when you do that?
Remember, Wonder Woman was a fictional character.
And finally, another dear soul communicated their fear of being rejected by family and friends for their spiritual abilities. Now, this I can relate to: being brushed off as the wacko who talks to the dead...I totally get it. It takes a truckload of courage to be the real you. There is one major benefit to doing it. When you emanate YOU, when you live your beliefs AUTHENTICALLY, you change your energetic composition--and like a magnet--you attract similar people and helpful circumstances into your life. Everyone else naturally falls away. Think of authenticity as a really good bug repellant: the pests go away.
A gentle caution here: being authentic does not give you license to be critical of or assess other people's lives, or say whatever you think. No one needs your help judging themselves; our own inner critics are gold medalists. People will learn from you, when you share your experiences. You aren't the expert on anyone else. Being authentic is digging deep into YOU and being brave enough to share who YOU are, what YOU feel, what YOU experience. This is where you will add value to the lives of everyone one you meet.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
It's the little things.
The Universe has been "speaking" to me for a few months saying: SLOW DOWN.
A car accident.
A missed flight.
A bad fall.
I hear you, Cosmos. I'm at a standstill. Listening intently.
The Universe has been "speaking" to me for a few months saying: SLOW DOWN.
A car accident.
A missed flight.
A bad fall.
I hear you, Cosmos. I'm at a standstill. Listening intently.
Speaking with the bereaved every day, and communicating with the deceased is an interesting thing. My fascination outside of the fact that, "Holy smokes, I can't believe we are actually doing this!" has always been: "Teach me, teach me...what do we need to know about living?"
Most of the wisdom can be summed up in a few short sentences, but my goodness, how we love to turn simple principles into epically complicated novels.
So here's one simple principle you can embrace and learn from today: the little things mean the most.
We can plan, scheme and spend on a wedding or special event for months or years and yet, if you ask a widow, "What do you miss about your spouse?" the answer is often something like, "He made the coffee every morning. Waking up alone is so difficult." Interestingly, I've never had a dead person tell me yet that they missed their HOUSE, only the people who lived in it.
Stop and consider this simple principle as it relates to your life. Where do you expend your energy? Are you investing it in something permanent...like relationships, including the one with yourself?
My son has been visiting for the past week, and I have become keenly aware of what "little things" I miss about him. Whenever he is coming or going, and I am around, he puts his arm around my shoulder, and kisses my forehead. Honestly, I don't think he realizes what he is doing, it's an automatic action for him.
When you take the time to slow down in life, or stop completely, you can actually discover great peace in the present and deeper meaning in the little things.
In a matter of moments, even the sunrise is over.
Can you appreciate life, in all of its forms? The entire natural world is at your disposal to enjoy and inspire. It serves to allay your burdens of grief, loss, stress and despair. Have you communed with the birds lately? Taken in the sunrise? Measured an unfurling leaf?
When hurled into a cataclysm of stress or loss we often obsess over the the BIG PICTURE OF THE FUTURE. That is an anxiety-ridden place to dwell. Get the hell out of there as soon as you can.
Slow down and get back into the present moment.
The beauty of a normal day, where nothing in particular is happening, can slip though your fingers like water unless you make time to actually appreciate it. In a matter of moments, it's gone.
Slow down for 10 minutes and meditate on what little things make you feel happy, loved or validated. Write down a few things and when you have figured out what makes YOU feel good, offer those to someone else.
From the Garden
This vintage candy stripe periwinkle was transplanted to my garden from my dear friend and neighbor, Katie Progar. It originated from her in-laws' home along Lake Michigan in the 1930s. Yesterday, I came across a newspaper article from 1998, written in honor of the Progars' 65th wedding anniversary. A life of love, devotion to family and in so many ways, the little things.
Katie was one of my dearest friends and I would visit her every afternoon for a dose of her wisdom and some baked treats.
"Never waste food."
"Always look on the bright side."
"Keep your basement clean."
"Mollie, stop working like a man." (this was my favorite!)
I never left empty handed. She would carefully put cookies or a slice of cake on a plate, and then insert it into a plastic grocery bag that she would hang on my wrist. "Just in case you fall on the way home."
She knew me so well.
I know her Spirit visits my garden and enjoys seeing many of her transplanted flowers growing happily and being appreciated for their beauty and loving memories.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Its's about TIME.
One of the most confounding questions I am asked to explain is, "How does time work on the spiritual plane?" Last week, my great friend and respected afterlife author, Mark Ireland, sent me a captivating email regarding a prediction made during a connection I facilitated in January. Mark and his wife Susie are cherished friends of mine...
Last week, my great friend and respected afterlife author, Mark Ireland, sent me a captivating email regarding a prediction made during a connection I facilitated in January. Mark and his wife Susie are cherished friends of mine, and as such, any connection I make is considered experimental since I know of their situation prior to the session. Mark and I have taught seminars together, and one belief that we both strongly share to is that an experience with a medium needs to be very heavily based on evidence, verifiable facts, for it to have a deeply healing effect on the bereaved. This "experiment" tuned out amazing! Incredible proof that Mark's deceased son, Brandon, was in fact present spiritually at his brother's recent wedding...and in some way, it was all fated to occur exactly as it did.
One of the most confounding questions I am asked to explain is, "How does time work on the spiritual plane?" I can only share theories; my own, and that of Albert Einstein that Mark provided in conversation with me.
Albert Einstein was quoted as saying, "The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." In regard to this, I also found the following: "Einstein's belief in an undivided solid reality was clear to him, so much so that he completely rejected the separation we experience as the moment of now. He believed there is no true division between past and future, there is rather a single existence. His most descriptive testimony to this faith came when his lifelong friend Besso died. Einstein wrote a letter to Besso's family, saying that although Besso had preceded him in death it was of no consequence, "...for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one."
After facilitating thousands of valid, evidence based, afterlife connections my theory is similar, but with a bit less scientific authority than Einstein. I have time and time again, correctly described and predicted events that eventually come to pass while conducting a session that I cannot ignore this aspect of mediumship. Somehow, the deceased pass on tidbits of the future to us that serve as greater validation of their ongoing connection and the vastness of life itself. I believe information is given at certain times to help us expand our awareness, to start the thought process: "Hey people...maybe there is something more to you than your flesh hanging on bones made of stardust."
People get terribly frustrated that the deceased don't always predict or make us aware of problems or hardships ahead of time, which leads me to believe that they too, are part of the earth journey. Just my theory, keep or toss it as it feels right for you.
Mark generously shares his experience here for everyone to read.
On January 28, 2014, my wife Susie and I delighted in the healing experience of a highly evidential reading from Mollie. She had many hits, addressing things specific to my mother and other loved ones who had passed, but the most touching and compelling part involved a message from my deceased son Brandon. Through Mollie, Brandon passed along the following information about his brother Steven's upcoming wedding, which subsequently took place on May 10, 2014. Remarkably, Mollie's message included references to several specifics things in future tense which later came to pass.
Mollie: "Brandon is showing me that Steven will be wearing a really nice suit at the wedding. It's not quite a tuxedo, but it's really close."
Relevance: Steven did wear a very nice cashmere suit, but it was not a tuxedo.
Mollie: "Brandon now pulls something out of a pocket in the suit. I believe Steven is planning on having something that belongs to Brandon in his pocket and on his person at the wedding. It's like a little picture or something; but there is something physical and tangible that you can touch that Steven has on his person. It's some kind of memento."
Relevance: On the afternoon of the wedding, prior to the ceremony, one of the young men in the wedding party, David Butcher, handed me a small box and asked me to open it. David indicated that it was a gift from Liz Rohe, a friend who was unable to make the wedding trip. The box contained six small pins, each with a small framed portrait of Brandon and a charm that could slide into a suit-coat pocket, allowing the picture to be displayed.
Mollie: "Brandon also makes the point that he is going to be there and he is saying, 'Two o'clock.'"
Relevance: It was at approximately 2:00 PM that my wife Susie first saw the pins.
This kind of precise and heartfelt information brings tremendous healing, as well as confidence in the reality of life after death. There is no way to fake a prediction-it either comes to pass or it doesn't. And to have it be so specific, on so many levels is quite remarkable. I want to thank Mollie for sharing her gift, because she's making a very positive difference in people's lives.
- Mark Ireland
I highly recommend visiting Mark's website. His book "Soul Shift: Finding Where the Dead Go" and his latest, "Messages from the Afterlife" are wonderful resources for those interested in learning more. His father, Dr. Richard Ireland, was one of the most accurate and famous psychic mediums of the 20th century. You can watch fascinating clips of him demonstrating his uncanny abilities on the Steve Allen show in 1969 by linking through Mark's website. And yes, I've had the pleasure of "meeting" Dr. Ireland posthumously. It's a trip!
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.