How To (Thoughtfully) Announce a Loved Ones Death on Social Media
Do you have a version this story?
I’ll never forget the morning I was waiting for a doctor’s appointment and I made the mistake of pulling out my iPhone to pass the time. Mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed, the first thing that appeared was a photo of an old but dear friend that only stated “RIP.”
WHAT?! Oh my God! I felt like I had been punched in the gut, and the tears were instantaneous. A nurse at the lobby door was calling out my name repeatedly. I couldn’t respond.
Let’s face it, most us are not sitting down, emotionally ready to hear heart-breaking news when we are scrolling through social media posts. It’s a problem not only because we are shocked. We may also be wondering what happened and/or why we weren’t notified in a manner that respects our loving/long standing relationship with the deceased.
Do you have a version this story?
I’ll never forget the morning I was waiting for a doctor’s appointment and I made the mistake of pulling out my iPhone to pass the time. Mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed, the first thing that appeared was a photo of an old but dear friend that only stated “RIP.”
WHAT?! Oh my God! I felt like I had been punched in the gut, and the tears were instantaneous. A nurse at the lobby door was calling out my name repeatedly. I couldn’t respond.
Let’s face it, most us are not sitting down, emotionally ready to hear heart-breaking news when we are scrolling through social media posts. It’s a problem not only because we are shocked. We may also be wondering what happened and/or why we weren’t notified in a manner that respects our loving/long standing relationship with the deceased.
The morning my father died, I tried to call my children to inform them personally, but social media beat me to it.
I’ve met with countless clients traumatized by similar stories of friends or distant relatives sharing “RIP” posts about their spouse, child or parents before they were able to.
This article by Taya Dunn Johnson really highlights the undue stress and confusion caused by a social media post of her husband’s passing within an hour of his death. Article: Please read this before you post another RIP on social media. The Hierarchy of Grief she discusses in the article are the words I’ve been looking for!
Let’s say you have learned of a loved one’s passing. You are upset. You need comfort. You are overwhelmed about what to do next.
The first thing you need to do is stop. As in, STOP.
Do not reach for the keyboard.
Your very first consideration before sharing a death announcement needs to be, “Is this my news to share?”
The questions below will help you know if this is your news to share:
-Did your spouse die? Yes, you can begin the task of creating an online announcement.
-Did your parent die? Yes. You may now coordinate with any siblings to create a death announcement.
-Did your child die? Yes. You should now coordinate with the child’s other parent/spouse a fitting way to share this heart-breaking news.
-Did your cousin, aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, any type of in-law or coworker pass? No. This is not your news to share. You must wait for the closest people to the deceased to be informed personally and then wait again until they post the announcement on social media. Sharing an online obituary is a respectful way to relay sad news, but be sure to mention who the person is to you. (Your mother, aunt, friend, etc…)
It’s important to wait an appropriate amount of time for the closest loved ones to be notified personally, in most cases, a few days.
Let’s move on to creating a fitting announcement. Feel free to use any of my words or quotes to create your own post if needed.
First, you will want to soften the blow a bit. Shock value on social media is tasteless and disrespectful. You are about to disseminate news that will possibly hurt people, some of whom may be waiting for doctor’s appointments, getting ready for an important interview, or sitting at their child’s soccer game. Give them a moment to prepare for the news by opening with a line like one of these:
“It is with a very heavy heart that I must share our family has lost a dear relative.”
“With great sadness, my brother John and I are announcing that our beloved father passed away last week.”
Second, inform your social media followers who the deceased is to you. Social media has become a place where we make friends with folks we’ve never met in-person and stay in touch with people we haven’t seen in years. You cannot simply state, “Mike passed away last night.” to a mixed crowd. Who’s Mike? Your dog? Your boyfriend? Next door neighbor? Be clear.
“Michael was my first husband, and importantly, the father of my children.”
“Michael was my long-time friend from grade school.”
“Michael was my cousin, with whom I shared a brotherly relationship.”
Thirdly, give information about the passing if it is appropriate. Again, the news will be a terrible shock to many people, and the first thing they will want to know is what happened?
“He has been a true warrior in the fight against cancer and has inspired us all with his unwavering faith.”
“He passed surrounded by his loving family after suffering a stroke last month.”
“He passed unexpectedly as a result of injuries sustained during a ____ accident.
“His battle with addiction has ended and he is free from an insurmountable and often misunderstood illness.”
Please also see my blog article on, “Is Sharing the Truth About a Loved One’s Death Important?”
Fourth, include a cherished memory or personality trait of the person to help encourage others to post their memories, too. Sharing sorrows and stories as a group provides much comfort and healing at times of great loss.
“Michael was famous for his apple pies. He somehow managed to take a basic dessert and make it the most unforgettable part of the meal. I will forever miss his pies at Thanksgiving!”
Lastly, provide relevant details about funeral arrangements, memorial funds or where condolences can be sent.
“In lieu of flowers, we are asking that donations be made to your local animal shelter in Michael’s name. We know he would love nothing more than to help a homeless animal as his last act of kindness.”
“If you would like to send your condolences to Michael’s family, please private message me for the address.” (Please use careful judgement when posting information online that could be used in identity theft cases.)
I personally think sharing a photo is a wonderful way to honor a loved one, but make sure you are being considerate. Share a photo that shows the person at their best or ask for permission from the closest family member.
Posting death notices on social media is a relatively new way to quickly spread information. We are still learning. For all of its convenience, it still needs to be handled with great care and thoughtfulness to honor the wishes of the deceased and in consideration of those who are closest to them.
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2021 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Making Room for Reality
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old…
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old daughter to illness. I think of the parents whose son was murdered by his friend. I think of my young friend who had a brain tumor removed on Tuesday. With all these sad occurrences, I don’t know how any of us can even find the appetite to eat. It seems a harsh reality when your happiness has been so challenged.
As the years go by and we grow older, our lives become richer in meaningful experiences that encompass the entirety of our lives: joy and loss.
Some of us at the Thanksgiving table may have suffered terrible losses in the past year. How can we find room for thanks in our hearts? Others of us may be seated alongside someone who’s grieving and not know how to act.
What can we do? We can draw support from each other by looking for hope in those around us.
One of life’s greatest hope-givers is the innocence of young children who can still experience unbridled joy without realizing that what goes up, must come down. One day this summer I was sitting in my dining room working on my computer when I heard the familiar voice of the little girl who lives down the street wafting in through the open windows. “Hi Mollie! Hi Mollie!” she called out. As I looked up, I saw her cruising by my house on her bike. Dear Charlotte yelled hello to me every time she passed my house, whether there was any chance of me hearing her or not. Trust me, when I did hear her, my heart overflowed.
Children hold so much space for connection, and we need to truly appreciate that when life seems bleak. They forgive quickly and ask for love when they need it. Why don’t we? We hold onto past grievances like trophies and quietly wish that someone will notice our loneliness.
As we face the realities of life, including tremendous losses, we need to remember that it is possible to hold space for both joy and sadness. They can share the same table, and in an authentic world, they always would.
Holding space for sadness at the holidays doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But it is a loving choice you can make to show compassion and empathy for those you care about.
When you hold space for reality, you meet people where they are, rather than asking them to change for you.
On holidays when I am sad or grieving, I try always to remember this: What a gift it is to have time in the company of people I care for. This is the thought I try to hold on to. Being around children especially helps me appreciate that gift.
For those of us who haven’t suffered loss, and who have lots to be thankful for this year:
-Let the newly bereaved cry without making them feel like they need to leave the room. They are grateful today, too, and have counted every blessing hundreds of times. But their hearts are crushed.
-You don’t need to fix anything or cheer anyone up. The death of a beloved spouse, or a parent, or a child cannot be fixed. Connection is more valuable than cheerfulness. Meeting people where they are means connecting with them so they don’t feel isolated. Try saying something like, “I know this day is so hard without Michael here.”
-And most important: SAY THE NAME of the person who has passed. SAY THEIR NAME. SAY THEIR NAME! There is nothing that comforts the bereaved more than knowing their loved one is remembered on holidays when every family member should be present.
“I remember when Hannah ate the entire can of whipped cream on her pumpkin pie.”
“Theresa loved hosting Thanksgiving so much, it was her favorite holiday.”
“ I wish Paul was with us today.”
Hold space at the holidays for reality, knowing that a meaningful life encompasses both joy and sorrow. Gratefulness is hard to feel during times of deep grief, but making a choice to acknowledge every small blessing is the place to start healing your heart.
Even an avalanche begins with a single snowflake.
Need a little more hope for making it through the holidays? Here’s a list of holiday blogs from years past:
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2018 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Your Healing Super Power
Did you know that within you exists a special, yet often underused, tool for healing? It’s just waiting for you to discover it and harness its capacity to help you on your journey to wellness.
Years ago, an older friend said to me, “Time wounds all heels.” It's a tongue-in-cheek play on the phrase “Time heals all wounds,” but it did make me think. As the years roll by, the chance of experiencing a profound loss increases, and as we learn to integrate these losses into our overall life experience, we mature.
Did you know that within you exists a special, yet often underused, tool for healing? It’s just waiting for you to discover it and harness its capacity to help you on your journey to wellness.
Years ago, an older friend said to me, “Time wounds all heels.” It's a tongue-in-cheek play on the phrase “Time heals all wounds,” but it did make me think. As the years roll by, the chance of experiencing a profound loss increases, and as we learn to integrate these losses into our overall life experience, we mature. Emotional gifts like compassion, connection, and empathy are the result of experiencing and living through something horrible.
I would never tell anyone who experiences the loss of a child or partner, “Time heals all wounds.” As if just waiting it out could take away the pain. That's impossible! If you aren’t processing your feelings and exploring your faith during that time, there’s a very good chance that 10 years from now, you’ll be in the same emotional state that you are in now.
Losses—whether they take the form of the passing of a beloved person, a divorce, a job, or your health—give your Soul an opportunity to grow. I get it. A loss isn’t a continuing education class you enrolled in and are eager to learn more. No one signs up for cancer. We don’t get married looking forward to a relationship becoming irretrievably broken. And while the “Bereaved Parents Club” is the group that nobody wants to join, membership can begin in the blink of an eye.
So, what is your hidden power? Patience! When life delivers this very common experience of loss, we can rise to meet it with patience. While time alone won’t heal your wound, you must give yourself all the minutes, days, and years that you need to have the experiences that rebuild strength. The actions we take to integrate the loss into our new lives take an amount of time we yearn to measure. We may ask, "When will the pain stop?" but that measurement is different for everyone.
We first have to come to terms with the idea that what we once knew is now complete. No matter how much we loved or hated what we once had, we have to realize that our world has crumbled, and we have to start at ground zero to rebuild a life around a deep wound.
I have a brave, young friend named Jess who has just given birth to her first child, a beautiful baby girl. Sadly, at the same time, she became a cancer patient, fighting for her life. She has been gracious enough to share her story within a group on Facebook, and I can tell you, the pictures of a bald baby and momma make you pause. Unexpectedly stripped of her health, she is reinventing herself, not only as new mother, but as a new mother with a massive “wound” called cancer. Her illness is forcing her to dig as deep as she can to find the hope and the will to endure whatever happens. She’ll never go back to the emotional place she was in before cancer, but as she marches bravely towards the future, I know she’ll be surrounded by other survivors and by people who love her. They will, in time, help her to integrate inner peace as she navigates uncertainty.
The pain of loss can be so acute that it strips us of our ability to be creative, solve problems, or imagine something new. I have never come across a person who took the time to think over a concrete plan of action for the “what-ifs” that might arise in the course of a lifetime. What if I get cancer or what if my child is killed? Few people truly have a detailed plan for how to navigate and integrate these massive upheavals before they occur. It takes patience to endure the acute pain of a sudden loss as an act of self-compassion. As we journey down our path of healing, we begin to have experiences that spark our faith in a loving power, greater than ourselves. My wish for you is that the spark will reignite a hope to live a meaningful life.
There is a phrase, “Patience is a virtue.” I say it’s a gift. It's a gift that you need to give yourself as you navigate a life that you didn’t plan for. You will need time to explore different ways to heal and discover which ones help you. Each of us will experience loss by at some point, and grief is a totally natural response to loss.
Many people who have had a session with me say that it was the catalyst for their grief to begin to convert to healing. Indeed, there are few things that can compare with the comfort that comes from receiving evidence that the person you love continues to exist in the energetic Soul form. But knowing a Soul lives on in a state of connected well-being is not always enough to navigate the unwelcome changes we have to face.
What if your patience is not enough? You may be experiencing complicated grief in which unresolved and acute grief persists even after time passes. In that case, it's important to seek help from a qualified professional. It may be that because of limitations on health care and insurance, you only have access to a local therapist who doesn’t specialize in complicated grief. It may help to read this informative article that details the experience a bereaved mother had in treating her unrelenting, complicated grief years after her son passed. It profiles the work of M. Katherine Shear, who is the Director of the Complicated Grief Treatment Program at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. There is also an interesting YouTube video with a Q & A with Dr. Shear available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAEfYSOS8W8.
Whether you’re newly bereaved or struggling though the occasion grief wave, please remember to access that gift that lies within you to be patient. Time alone won’t heal a wound, but time is needed to recognize what issues need resolving, explore your options, and then do the work.
©Mollie Morning Star 2018 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
When You Can't Stop Asking, "WHY?"
On today's blog I am sharing thoughts from two experts on how to gently handle yourself and move forward when the unanswerable question of "Why did my loved one have to die?"comes up. Author Mark Ireland, Co-Founder of Helping Parents Heal, and Ronnie Susan Walker, Founder and Executive Director of the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors share their knowledge here.
During a recent dinner with my friend Bridget, we had a chance to speak about the conditions surrounding her father's passing. She brought up a topic that had been heavily on my mind for weeks: the big, unanswerable "Why?" question. Her father had been deaf, and near the end of his life also became blind, while dealing with mobility issues. She voiced her sadness over her father's multiple health issues stating that she didn't understand why so many problems occurred for one person. It's a question she'd like answered by the big guy upstairs.
Several years ago I had a bereaved father ask on my Facebook Page "Why would God punish me this way? What did I do?" It's a sentiment I have heard before. As if the death of your child could be a fitting punishment...for anything.
As a medium, it's a question I feel I could never answer to satisfaction. The idea of telling a newly bereaved parent that the reason their child died was for the soul growth of the people who loved him or her is ridiculous. And yet, I have friends that are bereaved parents going on 10 years or longer, and they say this themselves, and it soothes the ache of not knowing a specific reason. It's an acceptance of something bigger than our human comprehension.
I decided to ask two experts for their input on this question, and how to help bereaved people move beyond what is often unanswerable. Author Mark Ireland, who is a bereaved father and co-founder of Helping Parents Heal; and Ronnie Susan Walker, who is the founder of the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors both shared thoughts with me that I am posting below.
Dealing with and moving past nagging questions, after the transition of a child.
Parents who experience the passing of a child will invariably wonder why this happened to them. Further, many will dwell on questions about what they could have done to prevent it. “If I’d just done this, or just done that” the inner dialog usually goes. In the case of the latter question there is usually nothing the parent could have done to change things. So the person causes their own suffering by unnecessarily contemplating pointless “what if’s” over and over.
The “why” question is a big one and may never be answered to the satisfaction of most parents but it is possible for such a person to move forward and live a happy productive life if they are willing to shift their thinking. The first requirement is a willingness to be happy rather than believing they must suffer to honor their child. If a person inwardly asks themselves whether their child would want them to be unhappy, the answer “no” is immediately revealed. Next, the parent must be willing to accept that things will never be the same as they were before. They can be happy and even continue to have a relationship with their child in spirit, but things will be different than they were in the past.
Finally, there is the issue of context—the big picture. The reality is that this life is short and we will all physically die at some point. For me this life is but a blip in our extended existence, just one step in the evolution of our soul/spirit. From that standpoint I am able to understand that there may have been reasons why my son left this world more quickly than I would have liked. Perhaps he was an advanced soul, here to teach people how to live, love, and to embrace the most important things. I know that he behaved in this way because of his inner nature and not because of any rulebook. I have grown through the lessons he taught me and have used this wisdom to help others. And I know I will be with Brandon again, but he will most likely be different. He will be more.
What did your child teach you? Are you able to take those things forward to help yourself heal—to serve others and help them heal?
-Mark Ireland, May, 2017
His newsletter archive: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs095/1102382222447/archive/1102569202494.html
Helping Parents Heal website: www.helpingparentsheal.org
And from Ronnie Susan Walker, Founder and Executive Director of the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors.
Survivors inevitably search for a reason, perhaps because having a reason might restore some small sense of control in a seemingly unpredictable world. Trying to understand "why" can occupy our minds for a long time. Ultimately many realize they may never know.
When survivors talk about their loved ones, it becomes evident that there is no one path or cause for suicide. Each story is unique. Some who take their lives have struggled long and hard with previously diagnosed mental illnesses such as Bi-Polar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia or Borderline Personality Disorder. Others have never been diagnosed, but in hindsight, had many traits that fit these diagnoses. Some have spoken of suicide at various points in their lives. Others never spoke of suicide or gave any indication of depression. Some suicides appear to be impulsive following a significant disappointment. Others seem more-planned. Many people who take their lives have alcohol or drugs in their system. Others do not. Some leave notes. Others do not.
It appears that each person who dies by suicide has reached a point where they can no longer tolerate their pain and suffering. Most don't intend to leave behind a wake of pain and destruction. They are simply searching for a way out of an unbearable struggle.
Ronnie Susan Walker MS, LCPC
Founder & Executive Director
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2017 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Our Loved Ones as Spirits—Not Humans
In the last six weeks I have been inundated with questions from people who are driving themselves crazy, thinking their beloved Souls in Spirit must still be reacting to the bumps and jolts of life like humans do.
Why would that be? They’ve transitioned to a different realm, and believe, me, they’re different themselves.
In the last six weeks I have been inundated with questions from people who are driving themselves crazy, thinking their beloved Souls in Spirit must still be reacting to the bumps and jolts of life like humans do.
Why would that be? They’ve transitioned to a different realm, and believe, me, they’re different themselves.
Let me share some of the situations:
A good friend said about her son who had passed, “Man! I can’t even imagine how he’s stewing about this (family situation) in Spirit!”
A very spiritual friend asked, “Mollie, do you think my brother is upset about _____, who didn’t come to his funeral? I mean, is he deeply offended?”
A question posted on a suicide support website was forwarded to me: “I had a friend who had transgender feelings near the end of his life. Does anyone have experience about what gender that person is in Heaven now?”
A comment from a client, “I’m surprised she didn’t have more to say about all that has happened with her many children since her death.”
And, a really frequent question I get on Facebook, “Is my child growing up in Heaven?”
Whoaaaaaaaaa, Nelly! Let’s slow this crazy-train down a second and get grounded.
A teacher I studied with in England, Simon James, once said, “The Soul is unborn and cannot die.” Among mediums, we often say, “You don’t have a Soul, you ARE a Soul having a human experience.”
A human being is a physical body that is ultimately limited and ruled by the physical world. Someone you love that has died has shed the physical body and the limitations it carried. It’s completely understandable that you still see them as having a body, because that is how you knew them and loved them here. But now they do not—and that is a very good thing.
I took a poll on my Facebook Page asking this question, “Upon death, does the Soul become enlightened?”
Overwhelmingly, people responded yes. In my many years of giving verifiable readings, I can say this conclusion is completely consistent with my experience. I have never connected with a Soul that has indicated anything different.
So my opinion is that yes, when we die we are enlightened as to:
–what our life purpose was,
–how our actions affected others and
–why certain situations developed. We can see their purpose, and we can release our judgments about them.
Is your mom super ticked-off that her daughters fought over her jewelry?
Well, she couldn’t take it with her, so the jewelry wasn’t that important to her in the end. She certainly is aware of the struggle that her daughters have with their attachment to material goods, and she sees that they are learning lessons about that.
Is your brother hurt that someone didn’t show up to his funeral?
Not really. He is now aware of the spiritual struggle that the person who didn’t show up is going through. He is much more likely to have compassion for that person than to be offended.
Is my friend male or female in Heaven?
Male or female is something a body is. Souls are neither. If you were to have a connection with this Soul through a medium, he or she—take your pick—would present him/herself in a way you would recognize. That could be as a male, but perhaps with a softer energy.
Is my child growing up in Heaven?
Without a human body, I doubt that your six-year-old is now six feet tall. What’s much more important is that your child’s soul is still growing. That is true for all of us, on Earth and in Heaven. We are always learning. When you are reunited, you will recognize your child, and that terrible, physical chasm between you will be filled to overflowing with a sacred connection.
When you book a reading with a medium, the intent and purpose of the session is to receive validations that your loved one has survived the change we call death and is still aware of your life. These validations prove the survival of the Soul beyond death of the body.
I sometimes explain what it is like to do a reading like this:
Imagine a very deep swimming pool, with lots of objects down at the bottom. I take a deep breath, jump in and use every bit of energy that I can to gather objects. When I can no longer hold my breath, I surface and we see what we’ve got.
To that end, when I do a reading for a client, I jump into the energy and gather information. It’s always my hope and prayer that the information I am able to gather will serve the purpose of identification and validation.
Here’s what a reading is not: a direct opportunity for your loved one to relay opinions about the choices people make and the goings on here in the physical realm.
There is a world of difference between your loved one being aware of your marital issues and communicating a message for you to pursue a divorce.
While your loved ones are aware of all that goes on, you may or may not receive a specific validation in any reading. And further, you may get totally different validations from different mediums. Everything is dependent on what information the medium can gather in that moment. This may not be at all what you think is the “most important.”
When it comes to teaching bereaved persons about Soul communication, I always try to take a very gentle approach, especially with someone who is already hurting. This, however, is one of those times where only a blunt answer will do.
It is not the place of a deceased person to weigh in on situations with their judgments, as if they are still ruled by physical conditions. They are not. Lucky them! So they are no longer engaged in the fight to keep a human body alive. The survival of the fittest does not apply. Their Soul is free from that confined state, and so is their mind. They understand the bigger picture in ways we do not.
I really hope that this will answer your questions about whether those we love who have died are now at peace. Remember not to impose physical traits on someone who is within the spiritual realm. They see the bigger picture. They communicate with us to show their love and support for you as you continue the sometimes-difficult course of having a human experience.
This blog is dedicated to Jan De Blieu, with loving thoughts of her son, Reid, that passed away eight years ago today. Jan is an author that I met over 20 years ago while living on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We had sons at the same time, and I helped care for Reid when he was a toddler so Jan could have focused time for writing. All these years and a different life later, Jan is now the editor of my blog. I would be thrilled to have her help in any circumstance, but she also serves another purpose as the filter and voice of a bereaved mother with my work. Jan embarked on a deep soul-mission to search for service opportunities to help soothe her grief and I recommend following her writing on her blog or her Facebook Page.
Reid continues to be a guiding light for us both as we work to help others work through times of grief into the joy of meaningful connection.
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2017 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Bootleggers and Eternal Bonds: Why We Look Backwards
Have you ever wondered why we romanticize the past? Here's how a clogged drain and a deceased bootlegger brought the shady past into the light of the present moment.
At 2:30 p.m. on Dec. 22, I hung up the phone from my last psychic medium reading of the year, full of anticipation and hope.
You see, my basement drains had been backing up onto the floor since August, and I had a plumber set to arrive at 2:45. This would be my fifth attempt to open the drain lines. My Christmas wish was to prepare dinner for my family (using the kitchen sink) and catch up on laundry.
Right on schedule, the plumber arrived. He was affable and oozed Midwestern sensibility. I instantly liked him.
He was talkative, sharing that he had grown up in the small house next door. He told me my house used to be a distillery during Prohibition.
“I had actually heard that rumor from an elderly neighbor 15 years ago!” I said with excitement.
“Yep, my Uncle Omar owned this house and he’d brew his hooch down here. Al Capone’s guys would pull up in the attached garage and take it to Chicago.”
I was fascinated by this confirmation and began researching Prohibition-era distilleries. (I also wondered if Omar's spirit brought me the right plumber? Of course he did! We both love "spirit.")
Unfortunately, the problems with my basement laundry room just got worse. It quickly became a down-to-the-studs renovation. We even had to take out the concrete floor and install a new drain system.
One day during the demolition, the workers called me downstairs. Three feet below the surface of the concrete floor was a secondary foundation slab. It wasn’t like anything any of us had ever seen. We concluded that during the ‘20s, the bootleggers must have dug out the basement and installed a false floor to hide the alcohol.
I decided I wanted to finish the basement room in the style of the 1920s. I went looking for reproduction light fixtures, hexagon floor tiles, old liquor bottles and natural weave baskets. Every time I’d touch something made of pure cotton, wood or metal, a feeling of it “being right” came over me. Plastic anything, not so much.
I began to question my attachment to this idea of recreating the past. I mean, what was it that made a jute rug feel “right” to me? There are sturdy, synthetic rugs now that are more practical for a utility room. And why would I want to bring back the era of Prohibition, one of America’s worst policy failures ever?
Suddenly a light went on in my head. I realized that idealizing the past can be a major issue. And I mean, MAJOR.
After the death of a loved one, nearly every one of my clients has to deal with idealizing the past.
They aren’t the only ones. As a society, we often long for past eras when we believe life was better, fuller, easier, more fun. When I began to look into the psychology behind this problem, I found dozens of articles by researchers and doctors that were incredibly insightful.
One of the spiritual great “aha” moments people have is when they meet someone new and report “It feels like I have known him forever.” This is not, in fact, a great sign that you have met your dreamy soul-mate. All too often, the person evokes in you an old behavior pattern that you unconsciously recognize from your childhood. My own path to healing has been one that forces me to confront childhood abandonment wounds, so that I am more open to creating new relationships as an adult.
I see many clients who struggle through repetitive, abusive relationships, but with different partners or family members. It is as if they seek out the familiar, even when it is damaging to them.
I once read a statement about this behavior pattern that said that in order to move forward “we have to heal our attraction to abuse.” This was an eye-opener for me! Just because we have become accustomed to a behavior does not mean it is healthy. We are instinctively attracted to the familiar.
In his paper, “NOSTALGIA: A NEUROPSYCHIATRIC UNDERSTANDING” (http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/7326/volumes/v19/NA-19) Alan R. Hirsch writes:
“The nostalgic urge to recreate the past within the present is, in many ways, a driving force for behavior -- how frequently we marry spouses with characteristics reminiscent of those of our parents.
I was shocked! Nostalgia as a driving force for behavior?
As I sat with that idea, I realized it was true. I remembered how excited I got when I heard that “Throwback Pepsi” was hitting the supermarket. The soda of my carefree childhood days, made with pure sugar. What could be better? (A lot of things could be better than dumping a can of pure sugar down your throat!)
It can be a burden for us to try and embrace the current moment. New, unfamiliar things are present, like an unimagined life without someone we love by our side. It makes perfect sense that we’d prefer to linger emotionally in an idealized past than deal with the sometimes crushing reality we wake up to.
It is essential for us to recognize our tendency to act upon nostalgic feelings. There are wonderful aspects of nostalgia that have been shown to help those who grieve. I love this quote:
"Nostalgia serves a crucial existential function. It brings to mind cherished experiences that assure us we are valued people who have meaningful lives.”
-- Clay Routledge, Associate Professor, North Dakota State University.
You can also watch Clay Routledge speak on nostalgia here:
http://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-do-we-feel-nostalgia-clay-routledge
But for our own well being and healing, we have to strive to find the balance between then and now. To allow the warm feelings of previously experienced love and connection to give us a strong purpose as we move forward into unknown territories. But that is all we should let them do. We need to temper our longings for the past with a dose of wisdom: the recognition that we have a tendency to look backwards through rose colored glasses.
Yes, we had some wonderful times.
And we possess the strength to create new wonderful times.
This second statement is what will help us successfully move on with our lives.
I’ll let you know how the basement speak-easy turns out!
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2017 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Guidance from Your Higher Self
Have you ever wished someone would give you the answers to make your day a little easier? Here's a way to receive sage advice, instantly.
As I sat waiting for the stoplight to turn green, I considered which route would get me home the fastest. I was in a hurry, with a to-do list a mile long.
Turn left, and I’d risk getting stuck at a light.
Go straight and deal with multiple stops signs.
Which route would save me thirty seconds? I was getting more stressed by the nanosecond.
“Just relax a little, Mollie.”
What!? Who said that?
Have you ever wished someone would give you the answers to make your day a little easier? Here's a way to receive sage advice, instantly.
As I sat waiting for the stoplight to turn green, I considered which route would get me home the fastest. I was in a hurry, with a to-do list a mile long.
Turn left, and I’d risk getting stuck at a light.
Go straight and deal with multiple stops signs.
Which route would save me thirty seconds? I was getting more stressed by the nanosecond.
“Just relax a little, Mollie.”
What!? Who said that?
My own voice had startled me.
You see, I not only communicate with the dead, I communicate with myself. That is, my “Higher” self.
As I continued to sit, waiting on the light, a conversation with my friend Jeff suddenly came to mind.
“Every time I really need to decompress after work, I drive the inconvenient way home so I have to stop on every corner. It’s my zen moment,” he said.
The light turned green, and I went straight. And I stopped on every corner, taking a breath and simply pausing. I noticed people walking their dogs. Children playing. Many neighbors had filled their flowerpots with beautiful summer annuals. It was a pleasant day, but I hadn’t appreciated that.
When I arrived home, one minute later than I could have, I felt a lot saner.
Unfortunately, we can’t always find our way out of stress, grief or discomfort by taking the long way around. Sometimes we need to charge straight through. The trick to surviving this is to use all our resources, including our ever-present source of help – our intuition, or gut instinct, or as I call it, my “Higher” self.
The very same faculties that are used when we connect with a deceased loved one are used when we communicate with ourselves. Soul communication can be with anyone, living or passed. Why would you exclude yourself from that?
Part of living a spiritually awake life is practicing excellent self-care. It’s important to foster a spiritual connection with a loved one to help ease your grief. But, it is absolutely vital to connect with yourself as you chart the way forward after a loss.
When was the last time you checked in on You?
The way you are feeling on the surface is likely obvious. But you may need to explore deeper to see how you really feel, and determine what you need to move toward healing.
Try this experiment: Sit somewhere comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Here’s the catch: answer the question out loud.
A key muscle to build while learning to communicate on a Soul level is the trust muscle.
We have spiritual reflexes with lightning-fast reactions. But we tend to bog down the process with analytical thinking.
When you pose a question to yourself, the answer is usually immediate, though most of us prefer to dissect it, looking for a reason not to trust our instincts. At a deep level, though, we know when it is correct.
What’s your immediate answer? Can you trust it?
The next time you are in a funk, ask yourself what you need in order to get out of it. Answer out loud. And while you’re at it, try Jeff’s method of taking the long route home to slow down and regroup.
Those “wasted” minutes might be the best you have all day.
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
3 Reasons Why You Aren't Seeing Signs from Deceased Loved Ones
Are you frustrated and feeling alone because you haven't seen a sign from a deceased loved one? You are not alone! Let me explain what's going on.
“I haven't had one sign, visit, or sense of presence, not once since my husband died, and I'm beginning to think that's not normal. I would love for you to discuss this side of survivorship. No one ever wants to discuss it - like it's some ugly secret - but I have to believe others are in the same boat as me.” Kathy Joint –via Facebook
Are you frustrated and feeling alone because you haven't seen a sign from loved one in Spirit? You are not alone!
“I haven't had one sign, visit, or sense of presence, not once since my husband died, and I'm beginning to think that's not normal. I would love for you to discuss this side of survivorship. No one ever wants to discuss it - like it's some ugly secret - but I have to believe others are in the same boat as me.” Kathy Joint –via Facebook
This comment, left on my Facebook page last week, is a perfect example of why my mission in life is to help educate as many people as possible about how Spirit Communication works. Having a session with a medium is wonderful way to receive validations that can become catalysts for healthy change in the grieving process. However, becoming dependent on a medium for receiving signs from the people you love is not healthy. Thankfully, you can learn to interact with these living Souls on your own.
If you’ve been to one of my events, you already know my main schtick: Education is Everything. Followed closely by, “Entertainment is NOT Education!”
If you are in the same boat as Kathy, looking for a sign that just isn’t there, let’s discuss three potential reasons why this is happening.
1. You are looking for something that is unreasonable.
This is the most important point. Many people get inducted into the club of, “I Lost a Loved One,” with no warning. Newly bereaved people have usually had exposure to mediums only through television, and there is nothing about a staged, highly edited and entertaining show that you should regard as an example of what to expect. Without the benefit of a physical body, it is impossible for a Soul to show up and speak words to you that you will hear through your ears. If you are ready to read more about how a departed loved one will communicate with you, check out "Learn to Connect With Loved Ones in Spirit." I wrote this article last year to teach you the three basic steps to recognizing the connection.
2. Your analytical thinking prevents you from being open to new information.
I am, by nature, a skeptic. Yes, you read that right! In nearly every situation, I need to see something to be able to believe it. This is the main reason I choose to use my abilities as an evidential medium, and only as an evidential medium. When I do a reading for a client, the session is full of verifiable details and obscure validations that only the client and the deceased person will know. These validations are what provide the deep healing for most bereaved people. They prove that living Souls see you and know what you are doing.
I did not open to my gift as a medium until I was an adult. In fact, I was deeply skeptical of people who claimed to be psychics or to be able to tap into the paranormal. I probably have always had the ability to communicate with Souls who have passed, but I never realized it—until they started making their presence known in a way I couldn’t ignore! Once I educated myself about how Spirit Communication works, my mind became much more open to recognizing synchronicities and signs. They are all around us.
If you have spent a considerable amount of time investigating the afterlife, reading, attending workshops, and participating in support groups and you are still not receiving anything you feel could be a “sign,” then something is not right—which brings me to my last point.
Related: Learning to Trust The Signs
3. The Time Is Not Right.
This last point is one I hate to bring up, because I see it used as an excuse far too often by “mediums” when they can’t make a connection to loved ones in Spirit. There is, however, some truth to it. In the dimension of Spirit, where our loved ones are encompassed by eternity, time is simply not the same as on Earth. When we are feeling desperate for spiritual comfort and it evades us, there may be, unfortunately, a reason. In my experience, there is never a point at which those whom we love in Spirit abandon us. But they will sometimes become a bit quieter in order to help us grow. I think of it like offering an ever-present “bail-out plan” to my college-age children. If I am around to solve every issue, how will they ever become independent adults? There are points in our life where our desperation serves as a great motivation for us to change, learn and reach the next level in our healing.
Related: Right Place, Right Time and It's About Time
If you are tired of being in the boat that is simply drifting, here are a few ways you can grab the oars and direct your ship to calmer waters. (In other words, here are some resources!)
Important Blog Articles to Get You Started For Free!
Recognizing The Connection
Validating the Connection
Receiving The Communication
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
When Someone is Missing from the Celebration
With Mother’s Day coming up, and Father’s Day right behind, I know there are a lot of heavy hearts out there. Whether you are missing a child or a parent who has died, it’s impossible to escape the feeling that something, or rather, someone, is missing.
With Mother’s Day coming up, and Father’s Day right behind, I know there are a lot of heavy hearts out there. Whether you are missing a child or a parent who has died, it’s impossible to escape the feeling that something, or rather, someone, is missing.
Recently I read a study about different ways to foster feelings of hopefulness. The point that most jumped out at me was that it helps immensely if you have something fun planned for the near future. A large part of the enjoyment from a planned vacation is actually the time you spend looking forward to it, anticipating what’s to come.
And so it is with our celebrations: A large part of the sadness associated with holidays after a significant loss is the dread that accompanies the days preceding them.
Here in America, it seems we have a major holiday every month. The aisles of stores are always filled with some kind of holiday merchandise. When you add the birthday and anniversary of your loved one’s passing, it is like being barraged non-stop by reminders that someone is missing. As if you could forget.
I have found a few effective solutions for dealing with holidays after a loss that I’d love to share.
The first is to take a trip and basically ignore the holiday by occupying yourself doing something different. It’s “escapism” on a healthy level. Honestly, I think it can really help a person or family get through the first few years after a passing. Things have changed, and a change of scenery often helps soften the blow.
The second practice that seems helpful is to increase your mindfulness in the days preceding the holiday. What exactly does that mean? It’s simple, really: Make a commitment to monitor your thoughts and change them. When you find yourself slipping down the slope of grief the week before a holiday, become aware of what you’re doing and make a conscious decision to take some time out. In that pause, take a deep breath and connect yourself physically to the earth. Remind yourself of where you are. You still have breath. It’s just another day. What would you be doing on this day if you hadn’t had a significant loved one pass?
Now take another deep breath and commit to taking an action to carry on “as if” a terrible day wasn’t looming ahead. This is called perseverance, and it’s tough.
My last suggestion is to make space for your grief within the celebration. Find something meaningful to you that creates a feeling of connection with your loved one. Here are some ideas:
-Set a place at the holiday table with a framed picture of your loved one.
-Take some quiet time that day to visit the memorial site with flowers or a small offering.
-Offer a whole-hearted toast to the loved one, and allow everyone to share a memory.
Make sure that everyone attending the celebration knows that it’s okay if you cry. Often, if you simply tell people, “Hey, if I break down and cry today, I want to thank you for being here and not being bothered by that.” In an ideal world, we would be surrounded by family and friends who give us the space to grieve. But often shows of emotion make people uncomfortable. You have the power to ease that discomfort by telling everyone in advance that you are okay with you crying, and thanking them for being that way, too.
And in all cases, seek solidarity with those who walk your path. No one knows the loss of a child until they have experienced it. Being surrounded and supported by people who “get it” is vital.
All separations in the physical world are temporary, and a spiritual separation can never occur. Even knowing this, it takes work to remember it when your emotions run especially high. I hope you always feel the love from your dear one in Spirit on your special days.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
What Happens When a Celebrity Dies?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Update June 4, 2016: The autopsy results are in: Prince died from an accidental over dose of Fentanyl. Why is this important? Because opiate addictions are killing people at an unprecedented rate. New England is suffering the worst with a 40% increase in treatment for opiate overdose in Vermont in just ONE year. This is a must read article and video: Heroin in New England, More Abundant and Deadly
Related Article: Prince died from accidental overdose of fentanyl
Read the story of my clients Jon and Lois Kesty and the change they are trying to make after losing their beautiful daughter Sumner, to an overdose. Is Disclosing the Truth About a Loved One's Death Important?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Years ago, when I was first realizing my ability as a medium, I came on to the metaphysical scene totally uniformed. Maybe worse, I had been uninterested my entire life. At no point prior to my own “spiritual wake-up call” had I ever contemplated life after death or communication with deceased persons. I just assumed dead was dead. And I was fine with that.
Once my ability became so intense I could no longer ignore it, I began exploring. Looking back, I can tell you, my first experiences with the world of the paranormal were horrible. I mean, the absolute worst! A friend told me about her psychic that she had a “reading” with by email every few days. Ask a question for $10, get an email answer. She told me everything he said was true. Like, true as in written-in stone-by-God, true. And I was duped, big time.
In the month or two that I was trying to figure this phenomena out, this psychic was promoting a book written by one of his followers. The book was channeled by a so-called medium who claimed to have connected with one of the most famous musicians of all time.
“That’s so cool!” I thought. A celebrity can posthumously write a book! Then I heard about seances where mediums were connecting with Princess Diana. My curiosity was piqued. I loved her! I had missed the chance to meet her in real life, so attending a seminar with her spirit communicating posthumously sounded really intriguing.
A few weeks later, I emerged from the fog this so-called psychic had built around him and began connecting with real mediums. You know, the kind who brought me identifying evidence from my deceased brother which proved he was still connected to me. It was extremely enlightening and educational. Furthermore, it made sense to me.
All these years later, I now have a very good understanding of what creates a connection and makes the communication possible. The easy answer is love and relationships. Sadly, I'm not talking about the kind of love a fan has for a celebrity. I have also had the opportunity to connect with several souls who were “famous” in their own right while alive.
Earlier this week, during a session with a client, something unusual happened.
“I have a man here for you. I don’t think you’ve ever connected before. He’s giving me the name of Joe.”
“Yes,” she said. “That is my fiancee’s uncle and we just spoke of him, so you are correct, I didn’t know him in life, but I do know who he is.”
At the end of the session, my client informed me that “Joe” was a famous actor. She told me his full name, and I was absolutely astonished when I looked him up on the Internet. He had seemed like such an "average Joe" in his communication!
I’ve also done private sessions with music producers and members of famous bands who have connections with deceased celebrities. Here’s the catch: when someone comes to me for a session, I have no idea who they are, or who will be connecting from Spirit. And in all cases, I perceive a friend coming through, give good evidence about them, and at no point do I pick up that…wait for it…they were famous.
Deceased celebrities often had amazing talent, incredible creativity and daring personalities. But, on the inside, no human is different from another in the ways we love, communicate, appreciate and work through the ups and downs of life. Celebrities communicate to their friends and family who loved them, just like the rest of us "average Joes."
A few months ago, I was giving messages to a woman from her father who had passed and he mentioned he was with Frank. “Yes, that’s great," she said. “My father owned a nightclub and he and Frank were good friends.”
I’m talking about Sinatra here.
Woefully, Old Blue Eyes didn’t make a direct connection with me, but it was interesting, nonetheless!
These are just a few examples, but my experiences have been extremely consistent. Dead people “come through” to communicate with the living people they care about. I guess as a disclaimer I could add that sure, anything is possible, but if you have expectations of connecting with a famous celebrity you never knew, you might want to rethink the validity of that.
I hope when we get to Heaven we can still watch our favorite musicians perform, but I am not sure about that. What I am sure of, is that Souls are Souls….famous or not. Afterlife connections are about comfort, relationships, inspiration and love.
We will find out everything when we Break on Through to the Other Side….
In the meantime, I’ll be singing Raspberry Beret and reliving some favorite memories from when MTV was young. RIP, Prince. You turned our world upside down!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Clearing Up Stuck Souls, Ghosts...(and the rest of it.)
“I am outnumbered.”
The thought sat in my stomach as if I had swallowed a brick. Last weekend, I was standing in a popular bookstore, looking through the shelves for books about mediumship. I was on a mission to discover where people–everyday, average, bereaved people–are getting information about the afterlife.
The shelf was littered with books featuring dark covers with scary, transparent figures. Words like: ghost, demons, haunting, possession, psychic attack—everywhere.
My eyes searched for the books about Heaven.
Nearly all of them have a sky on the cover with radiant light beaming out—perhaps have you seen them? I picked a few up and flipped through them. More than one of them covered the topics of spirit release, ghost busting and negative entities.
Again, the heavy thought: “I am outnumbered. I cannot make a difference.”
Is my deceased loved one okay? Are they stuck in limbo? Did they transition to Heaven?
“I am outnumbered.”
The thought sat in my stomach as if I had swallowed a brick. Last weekend, I was standing in a popular bookstore, looking through the shelves for books about mediumship. I was on a mission to discover where people–everyday, average, bereaved people–are getting information about the afterlife.
The shelf was littered with books featuring dark covers with scary, transparent figures. Words like: ghost, demons, haunting, possession, psychic attack—everywhere.
My eyes searched for the books about Heaven. Nearly all of them have a sky on the cover with radiant light beaming out—perhaps have you seen them? I picked a few up and flipped through them. More than one of them covered the topics of spirit release, ghost busting and negative entities.
Again, the heavy thought: “I am outnumbered. I cannot make a difference.”
The evening before, near the end of a group session in Madison, Wisconsin, a young woman who sat weeping, cradled in the arms of an older woman, asked me a question. I presumed them to be mother and daughter.
“My sister had a session with a medium who told her that my grandfather couldn’t communicate because he didn’t cross over and was stuck. My grandfather was a wonderful man who believed in God and led a good life. This has been so upsetting to our family. Is my grandfather okay, and why would this happen?”
I took a deep breath and counted to five.
You see, this is something I deal with every single week. And it makes my blood boil. I am so angry and disappointed at the choices other so-called mediums are making because I am often the one cleaning up the emotional mess they create.
In another example, a widow recently requested an emergency session because she was so upset by a session with another medium. She shared with me later that she had chosen the medium based upon the criteria of an inexpensive price and availability for an in-person meeting.
When the time came for her phone session, I immediately connected with her husband who had recently passed.
The reading began with her husband communicating: “Tell her I died on the best day of my life, doing what I loved.”
“He did. He truly did,” she said.
After her successful session with me, my client went on to explain that the previous medium started the session by vocally asking permission from her 34 “Spirit Guides” to connect with my client’s deceased husband. It just got worse from there. The medium stated she couldn’t connect with the husband because he was so mad at himself. He was kicking himself for dying, and stuck.
A few years ago, I had a similar experience with a young widow, who, at the end of her extremely validating phone session said to me, “Are you absolutely sure he’s all right and doesn’t blame me for his death?”
I was shocked by the question! For the last hour I had given her validations and messages of great caring and love from her young husband who acknowledged that his choices led to his passing. He died from a disease called alcoholism. I stress that this is a disease, a valid one—and not a lifestyle choice. It starts as a choice to begin drinking, but addiction takes over.
I asked her why she would even dream of posing this question after having so many validations brought forward over the last hour.
The culprit? She had seen a medium who said her husband couldn’t communicate with her because he was tormented and blamed her for his death. She should have done more, the medium said.
She was in emotional agony. As if losing her life partner and raising their child alone wasn’t a daunting enough task, now she had to also worry about him holding a grudge in the afterlife.
Last month, a woman posted repeatedly on my Facebook page, begging me to call her. English was her second language, she didn’t have full access to the Internet and her daughter had just died. She had urgent questions. Thankfully, she happened to call my office while I was in and I was able to answer.
She told me she had been to see a medium who told her that in order to spiritually connect with her daughter she had to get rid of all her daughter's possessions, “let her go” and wait 40 days. She sobbed into the phone saying she just couldn’t bring herself to throw away her daughter’s clothing, etc.
This is INSANITY. I was so upset, I prodded for the name of the medium in Chicago so I could personally hunt her down! I cannot fathom where anyone would get this information! To throw away a beloved child’s personal belongings in order to have a reading? A mandatory waiting period? I have done successful sessions with clients HOURS after a loved one’s passing. In her agony, this bereaved mother didn’t know what to believe. How could she be burdened to sort out what is spiritually true while undergoing the absolute worst trauma of her life?
Not a week goes by without someone coming to me with emotional pain caused by a bad experience with a medium. I could go on citing examples for endless days!
What gives?! My frustration with this left me stewing about what to write for a long time. I have hesitated for the simple reason that I know my stand will be unpopular, without much peer support, and I will probably lose friends.
I know some very nice people, fellow mediums, who regularly promote their practice of spirit attachment release, ghost busting and home clearings for stuck souls. I like these people and don’t want to lose their friendship.
The time has come for me to do a clearing of my own. I can’t be quiet anymore.
It is not accurate, ethical or correct for a medium to be on both sides of the fence. You cannot say, “Your loved ones are at peace.” And then, “Except maybe those souls who got stuck when they died by suicide or trauma.”
We need a complete overhaul of these false beliefs.
First of all: Where did anyone learn that a Soul could be stuck? Was that idea taught by someone who simply shared the idea that a Soul could be stuck? How many generations of teachers perpetuate the idea of stuck Souls? Does it ever stop? Where is the proof? Where is the evidence?
Second of all: How can anyone know with exactness and authority the specific details of the afterlife? Again, where is the proof? Where is the evidence?
I have read hundreds of books about people’s individual experiences with the afterlife. Everything from dreams, experiences had while in a coma, near death experiences, back from death experiences; all of it. Many stories share similar themes, but they vary widely in the details. Even faith traditions have widely varying views of what happens after this life, and sometimes even they change their official opinions. In April of 2007, Pope Benedict XVI officially did away with the state of limbo for the Catholic Church –after 800 years of indoctrination!! Throw in the fear based drama on the Internet and social media, and it’s nearly impossible to know who or what to believe.
STOP!
Let me tell you everything I know about the afterlife: Who we are, our Soul, doesn’t die or cease communicating upon the death of the physical body.
This I can prove to you by providing verifiable details and facts received by mental telepathy from the deceased and what they see happening in your life since their death.
Honestly, that’s it. That is all I can prove.
Everything else that I can share with you is information based on my experiences within the context of a “reading” or spirit communication done for clients. If I present you with information you don’t agree with, please disregard it and use your own truth barometer to decide what works for you.
This leaves most questions open-ended and up for personal interpretation.
The question I get asked the most often is: Is my loved one at peace?
With all of the books, TV shows, websites and mediums promoting ghosts, earthbound souls, and hauntings--I get it. I deeply understand your panic and need to know if your loved one is okay. It is our human nature to care about the wellbeing of our children, spouses and friends, and when they die, and we can no longer see and speak with them to verify if they are indeed, “okay,” panic can quickly take over.
A medium seems like miracle cure for this; someone who can see and communicate with the dead. Surely, someone with this ability can assuage our pain by letting us know how the deceased loved one is doing. Right?
Well, let me tell you a little about people with spiritual abilities. I’ll start with me.
I did not request this ability. In fact, I didn’t even want it when it showed up in my life. I tried everything to get rid of it. I no more choose to be a medium than I choose to have freckles.
And neither did most other people with spiritual abilities. It happens to people in all walks of life, on every continent and with every personality type. Some people born with a spiritual ability are complete jerks. Some higher power didn’t select a chosen few to act as earth angels with spiritual abilities.
Just like some folks have light hair, some people can communicate with the dead. Just like some light-haired people will be up to no good in life, so will some people with spiritual abilities.
Anyone with an ability is given free will to use it as they choose.
And anyone seeking the assistance of a person with a spiritual ability is free to choose with whom they would like to work.
What I am hoping you will take away from this article is:
As a Spiritual practitioner the “services” you choose to offer may cause extreme, deep and lasting pain for bereaved persons if you cannot provide them with a validating connection. The only, and I mean ONLY thing you should say to a client you cannot provide healing validation to is: “I am sorry. I am unable to connect.” Accept full responsibility, and nothing less. It is honorable and ethical to be truthful and say that you cannot connect.
A medium’s inability to provide a validating connection is the fault of the medium, and not the deceased.
As a Spiritual client you are responsible for doing your research before booking a session. You must educate yourself about the differences betweens mediums and psychics; having a session by phone or in-person; and finding a medium who has garnered a reputation for healing work over a long period of time. Watching television shows is NOT educational about how mediumship works. It is entertainment, for which you pay quite dearly each month. Just look at your cable bill. If you book an appointment with a medium who also offers to “release” stuck souls, you have been forewarned that they may tell you your loved one is stuck, too.
You must accept the responsibility for doing the research to book a medium who is known for accuracy and ethics. No one will ever try to stop you from booking the psychic a friend knows, who for $65 will do a reading for you in a pub every other Thursday night. Is your pain that casual? So it can be healed in a restaurant in 5-10 minutes in front of a room full of people? Or do you need a private session focused on you alone? This is your choice.
Your healing is your responsibility.
To create a world full of ethical and responsible mediums is a battle I know I will never win. To teach every average bereaved person how to select a medium who is right for them, or better, how to connect on their own—is a mountain I cannot climb.
But, I have just made you think. And that means I may have helped one person reconsider these unhealthy beliefs. Whether you are the spiritual worker or the person seeking help, I ask you to please uphold the highest standards for healing.
Personal responsibility matters. We are all connected and the choices we make create a ripple effect of fear or love. The choice is yours.
Disclaimer: This article reflects my opinion and belief that a person who has died is "okay." My belief is a result of having the first hand experience of delivering thousands of validating, verifiable messages from a person who died. At no point, in any session, be it a private or a public group, has a deceased person reported being stuck, held back, unwell, unwilling or unable to communicate for any reason whatsoever. I have ended a few private sessions where the information received was not understood, but never a case where that was the fault of the deceased. If this belief doesn't work for you, please disregard it.
I stand firmly in the belief that it is spiritually safe to die. If I stand alone, I am okay with that.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Working that Trust Muscle!
How well is your “trust” muscle working these days?
Feeling kind of weak from a lack of use? Or maybe it’s feeling strong from all that heavy lifting you’ve been doing?
Last week on my Facebook page I shared a picture with the words, “Every Soul has a unique plan and energy.” To me, that means that while our time on this Earth is deeply interconnected with others, we still have our own mission to fulfill and we must bring a one-of-a-kind energy (aka Soul) to accomplish that mission.
How well is your “trust” muscle working these days?
Feeling kind of weak from a lack of use? Or maybe it’s feeling strong from all that heavy lifting you’ve been doing?
Last week on my Facebook page I shared a picture with the words, “Every Soul has a unique plan and energy.” To me, that means that while our time on this Earth is deeply interconnected with others, we still have our own mission to fulfill and we must bring a one-of-a-kind energy (aka Soul) to accomplish that mission.
A young mother responded, her suffering nearly tangible. She wrote about her son who beat cancer two years ago, who was having another bone marrow test. She questioned the point of it all, and the existence of God. She wrote, "Life just really isn't fair." She went on to write that she had also recently suffered the loss of someone she loved dearly.
Her comments show the depth of her anger and pain. Understandably so; she has been experiencing hell on Earth for the last few years. And I agree whole-heartedly: Life is not fair. Not by a long shot!
In my years of doing work with bereaved persons I can tell you I have learned that life simply is what it is. It’s a big grab bag of good and bad. We will have both in varying degrees. Bad things will happen to good people and we all have opinions about someone who probably deserves a lot worse than they receive from the Universe. (politicians, ex-spouses, etc…)
This is where an opportunity presents itself. In the midst of these challenges, hardships and losses, we get to choose our opinion of them.
- Option number one: Life isn’t fair! I don’t deserve this!
- Option number two: Within the chaos is a plan for my Soul’s growth.
It’s tough. When you are down and defeated it is really hard to put your faith in a plan where you can’t read the fine print, like a real estate contract. There are theories aplenty about Soul contracts, fate, and our life lessons being something we chose for ourselves before we incarnate.
Let’s just forget the theories for one minute. Come back to reality and the present moment.
Think back through your life about some of the worst things you’ve been through.
(I’m pausing here….think. Think really hard.)
I have lived though 100% of everything I’ve been through. And I learned a lot along the way!
Yes, I am hereby stating I have a 100% success rate at living though life’s many challenges. My track record is flawless. I’m still breathing.
And so are you.
We all deal with anxiety and uncertainty in our lives. Those feelings escalate when the path isn’t crystal clear, when the road is rough and the destination, unknown. When feelings of anxiety and uncertainty rise up, I recommend a stop-drop-roll.
- Stop whatever you are doing, and pause.
- Drop your hand to touch nature and get grounded in the present moment.
- Roll through past unpleasant experiences mentally, reminding yourself that you've lived though them all, and learned so much along the way.
Trust and faith are words that are interchangeable. Some think of faith as a more religious term, and that’s great. If you have faith that there is a God who has a plan for you, and it gives you strength, rely upon it! If you can trust that the experiences you are having are lessons that create a positive expansion in your Soul—then AMEN. Hallelujah!
Your affirmation: I trust this experience is taking me somewhere better. I am growing.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
To Cherish That Which Cannot Be Replaced.
Being a conduit of messages of healing and love for those who have passed on brings me back to the same emotional place, again and again, even after years of doing this work.
I usually get all broken up like this after doing many consecutive sessions with people who have lost a loved one unexpectedly or tragically. (Which is nearly everyone I work with.) This week it was triggered by a mother who lost a child she had devoted the last 10 years of her life protecting. It was followed by a question from a different mother who was deeply concerned her deceased son might...
Being a conduit of messages of healing and love for those who have passed on brings me back to the same emotional place, again and again, even after years of doing this work.
I usually get all broken up like this after doing many consecutive sessions with people who have lost a loved one unexpectedly or tragically. (Which is nearly everyone I work with.) This week it was triggered by a mother who lost a child she had devoted the last 10 years of her life protecting. It was followed by a question from a different mother who was deeply concerned her deceased son might feel she was “getting rid of him” if she scattered his ashes. Next came an evidence-packed message from a person who went missing in 2009. I don’t think I will ever get over seeing the shock on my client’s faced as they asked, “Do you think my sibling is dead?”
Deep breath. I reminded myself to breathe as I prepared to answer the question, as I do so now.
Life is about cherishing relationships. It’s the only “thing” we have that is real and lasting. And it is completely intangible: you can’t see, touch or buy it. It can only be felt, and to have that feeling of being close to another is the most precious and priceless experience we can have.
It is so easy to get caught up in our lives, perhaps the easiest misstep of all. We get ensnared into our stories and scripts: the ones we write and the ones we have starring roles in. We get obsessed over what people think of us (usually nothing, they are busy thinking of what you think of them), what real estate, car or status symbol we will get next, how we can get out of debt, or my favorite: what vacation we can take that will give us an escape from all of the above!
I am guilty. I am saddened to admit that I am speaking from experience. I too, have had extended time periods in my life where I operated solely in survival mode. I missed so many important events as a result: school plays, breakfasts together, dinner parties and I will never forget the year I missed summer. Living in Wisconsin, I can tell you, that’s tragic. I was just too busy to plant my vegetables or tend my garden.
I had a quick FaceTime chat with my sister-in-law over coffee one morning, who lost her Dad a few years ago. He was just in his early 60s when he passed unexpectedly. We concluded that the lessons of grieving are so painful and yet so important. One big lesson is to do things now. If there is anything that you want to do, need to do, should do, can do…the time for that is now.
It’s difficult to take a chance on being wrong, rejected, or failing at whatever it is that you decide you need to do, but your willingness to persist though those feelings will reward you with something much sweeter: peace. You might even qualify for the grand-prizes of lasting joy, satisfaction and fulfillment!
Listen: living life fully means taking these messages from the dead and turning them into lessons to live by.
No matter how much you’ve been hurt in the past, you still have to operate with a heart open to love.
You are going to have to fight feelings of inadequacy with positive self-talk the same way you resist urges to eat too much chocolate when you want to lose weight.
You will have to look at your schedule and your budget and make some tough decisions about what gets top-billing in your life.
I sincerely hope you choose to put people in the top spot. When it’s all said and done here on Earth, the things you take with you are the memories, the energy you invested in relationships and the love.
That beautiful home, the car you wanted so badly, and even that family ring that holds such sentimental value to you all stay here. The fame, acceptance and popularity you strived for mean very little in the afterlife when the playing field is leveled to a place where everyone is an incredible being of light.
The deceased communicate to help us live better in the here-and-now. The key to arriving at that place satisfied with the way you lived your life is to make choices now that create relationships filled with giving and receiving unconditional love.
And now I am back to where I was yesterday during that reading with a mother who recently lost her adult son.
“He shows himself standing next to you. I can feel the emotional closeness. His head is held high–he communicates that he received unconditional love from you and his father. He wants to thank you for this. It’s the greatest gift he ever received.”
He died of an overdose. He was, and still is, so very loved.
Don’t wait. Open your heart and push the edge of possibility right now!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Overcoming Regrets
Dealing with personal regret after the passing of a loved one can sometimes cause crippling emotional pain. We all deal with self doubt, but a deep loss can take our minds into an abyss of despair as we question every action we took (or didn’t take) on behalf of the deceased. This is a common theme in the emails and private sessions I conduct with clients. But here is what I want you to know: Your deceased loved ones want to help you move past your pain.
Dealing with personal regret after the passing of a loved one can sometimes cause crippling emotional pain. We all deal with self doubt, but a deep loss can take our minds into an abyss of despair as we question every action we took (or didn’t take) on behalf of the deceased. This is a common theme in the emails and private sessions I conduct with clients. But here is what I want you to know: Your deceased loved ones want to help you move past your pain.
Regret is a tricky beast. It’ll make you feel like you missed your one and only chance to clear up misunderstandings and disagreements with your loved one. Since you didn’t act when the person was alive, you won’t ever be able to right the wrong now. Neither will you be able to forgive yourself. Even after you think you’ve kicked that son-of-a-gun regret to the door, it can resurface at inconvenient times.
Here’s a little sampling of emails I’ve received about regret.
“How do I know he's happy with me, that I didn't let him down?”
“ . . . It doesn't help with the questions, doubts and regrets that I still have.”
“ . . . It’s the first thing I think of when I wake . . . and before I fall asleep. I’m asking for any help to release the pain & regret I have before my mother eventually succumbed to her injuries.”
“ . . . I still don't know if I did all the right things with her . . . I'm just so messed up.”
While your regret may feel intensely personal, I am here to assure that you are not alone. Feelings of regret, to some degree, nearly always accompany grief.
Many regrets fall into what I consider a run-of-the-mill category:
- Is my loved one angry that I was not by his side in his dying moment?
- Did I make the right choice for her funeral services and remains?
- Is he upset that I sold the house, property, car, or personal belongings?
- Did I make the right choices regarding her health care?
There are two big points to make here: One, these feelings are completely normal. Two—and this is what I most want you to understand—forgiving yourself is essential to your healing.
When you are devastated by the loss of a child, spouse, or other loved one, it is so difficult to see through the pain to the simple, eternal truth. But it is the truth, and in time it will set you free from the pain of regret.
This eternal truth is a very simple principal that manifests itself in every afterlife connection I make. It boils down to this: Everything that is important to your loved ones goes with them into the afterlife.
That means they take with them all of the love, relationships, memories, feelings and emotional connections they made here on Earth.
It also means they discard upon their passing the things they have no use for any longer, including their human remains, property, cars, collections, clothing and a million other possessions and attachments. Whatever choices you make regarding “stuff” should really be done for the comfort of those who are left behind. I feel very confident in saying your loved ones don’t care about these things, beyond the way they affect your well-being. It is natural for us to feel sentimental about the things they used and loved. But the attachment to them stops here on Earth.
What we gain upon entry to the Spirit world is enlightenment and freedom. We are freed from the “stuff” and—this is critical to understand—we are also freed from the emotional pains we carried here. We see how everything weaves together as lessons in our Soul’s journey, and we are able to observe our lives without harsh judgment. Even the relationships that ended badly or caused us pain are released in our enlightened state.
This is what all of the Souls wish to communicate with their loved ones through me—it’s universal and unfailing. We are free as we return to the world of Spirit. It’s an amazing feeling!
The most helpful tips I share with clients to help them move through regret are these:
Write a Letter – It is not to late for you to communicate your feelings. Write your loved one a letter to let him know your feelings. Set the letter aside for a day, and in your mind and heart ask that person to receive your words. Once that is finished, I like to create a small ceremony and burn the letter. It is done. The issues are resolved.
Practice Self Forgiveness – If you are reading this blog, there is a good chance you are not a horrific human being. You obviously care about your own healing and about the people you love who have passed on. When your loved one was alive, and you had the opportunity to speak with her, or care for her through acts of kindness and compassion, you did what you could.
In short, you were operating from the highest level of knowledge and spiritual practice you had at that time. As a mother, I can look back at choices I made 20 years ago when I had young children and wish I had done some things differently. But I was doing my imperfect best. Heck—treat yourself to a look back to the 1950’s, when the entire cast of “I Love Lucy” was smoking on screen! It was a fashionable thing to do. We all evolve over time. Forgive yourself. No one can do anything better than she can do in any moment.
Learn From the Past — Your regret can also serve as a catalyst for change. If something is making you feel bad, maybe it’s a lesson for you to make sure that situation doesn’t repeat itself. We live and learn. No punishment is needed, just the lesson.
It’s worth adding that if you have suffered through extreme abuse, infidelity or addiction issues, you may benefit most by seeing a mental health professional.
If your regret is holding you hostage, please know that Souls who have transitioned into Spirit do not hold grudges—even if they did while here on Earth. They are within the light, and they now have the perspective of eternal lessons. Their greatest wish is for you to release the heavy weight of regret and move forward as a more evolved and compassionate person.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Are you Ready to Receive?
One of the most profound lessons I have learned working with the Souls in the hereafter is that the true gift of our human lives is finding love and joy in the present moment, while looking forward with hope.
We cannot escape loss and hardship while on this Earthly journey, but somehow adversity is followed by opportunity.
Looking forward with hope is a great challenge after a deep loss. Losses can take many forms in the passing of a loved one, a job, a relationship
Happy New Year, Friends!
Are you glad the holidays are over? At the risk of sounding like the Grinch: I for one, am! The idea of getting up and being greeted by the opportunity to return to work tomorrow morning is incredibly appealing to me. I’ve always been a morning person and I love Mondays. Call me crazy, but I get high on the feeling of fresh opportunity calling out to me.
As I went around the house tidying up the last of the holiday decorations today, my optimism for 2016 began to grow. Cleaning up helps me see the space where something creative can take place.
There’s literal room to move. (Have you ever try hula-hooping with a Christmas tree in your living room?)
There’s space for everything to breathe. I imagine my orchid enjoys oxygen as much as I delight in inhaling the winter air for a deeply clearing breath.
The energy of my home is infused with this positive vibe of anything can happen.
One of the most profound lessons I have learned working with the Souls in the hereafter is that the true gift of our human lives is finding love and joy in the present moment, while looking forward with hope.
We cannot escape loss and hardship while on this Earthly journey, but somehow adversity is followed by opportunity.
Looking forward with hope is a great challenge after a deep loss. Loss can take many forms: the passing of a loved one, a lost job, a broken relationship or a health problem. It takes courage, and often a commitment to persist under duress, to take even small steps forward. But when you do, you are showing the Universe (and yourself) that you are ready to receive.
–Ready to receive a friendship that lifts you out of a fog of loneliness.
–Ready to accept that career that fills your Soul with purpose.
–Ready to embrace peace as you come to terms with your own mortality.
Our ability and willingness to receive love, care, help, comfort, affection, compassion, friendship, healing and all good things will greatly affect our overall happiness.
Often times our past experiences determine what we expect or think we deserve in the future. If we’ve been betrayed in a relationship, we live in fear of it happening again. If you have a child who died in a car accident, it’s hard to watch your living children leave the house with the keys in their hand and not feel a twinge of panic.
As you wake up on Monday morning, January 4, 2016, try your best to welcome new experiences into your life. Be ready to receive. Be open to possibility. Don’t limit yourself in thinking that you’ll only ever be as happy as you were in a past situation. You do not know that for certain! I have seen a lot of people make amazing lives for themselves after a great loss, whatever that loss may have been.
Be hopeful. Be of good cheer. Take a step forward to show life that you are ready to receive experiences that make you happy, to the point of overflowing.
Wishing you all the peace, love, and joy that you can stand to receive in 2016!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Advice from Grandma
Like it or not, the holidays are upon us! With a few days off this past weekend, I was able to spend time catching up with friends. There was a recurring theme of “holiday unrest” with many of my favorite people this year: families fighting over meaningless things, choosing to sit around and drink instead of help with dishes, and bringing up memories from 20 years ago that definitely should have been left alone. You know, the kind of family that puts the “fun" in dysfunction!
Like it or not, the holidays are upon us! With a few days off this past weekend, I was able to spend time catching up with friends. There was a recurring theme of “holiday unrest” with many of my favorite people this year: families fighting over meaningless things, choosing to sit around and drink instead of help with dishes, and bringing up memories from 20 years ago that definitely should have been left alone. You know, the kind of family that puts the “fun" in dysfunction!
My Thanksgiving was really a good one. Both of my children were home from college, and we were invited to spend the day with wonderful friends. We played charades with a new iPad app, feasted on a traditional meal and cuddled up by the fireplace. I’m not trying to rub it in, but it was pretty ideal. My favorite part of the day happened after dinner. (No, it wasn’t dessert!) There were so many people in the kitchen helping clean up that Grandma and I decided to stay out of the way and have a chat.
My friend’s mom, who we all call Grandma C, is a cherished lady. It is obvious how much her family loves her. She is a lovely Irish widow who has more children than I have shoes and lives in Minnesota. I know that someone who has faced the challenges of harsh winters and many mouths to feed has gleaned some wisdom along the way. I was eager to find out how she managed to raise such a loving family.
I asked her, “What would you say is one of the most important things you’ve learned in your 80 years?” She thought for just a few seconds and replied, “To zip your lips!” and mimicked the motion across her mouth.
I was surprised! I was thinking she was going dispense wisdom that was spiritual or a bit holy.
“My mother told me that, too. Some things just do not need to be said.” Grandma C added.
As we continued to chat, I began to understand the wisdom in what she advised and how it correlated to what was happening during our Thanksgiving together. These people were nice to each other—genuinely so. They had not grown up with constant criticism, so they refrained from criticizing others.
After speaking with my friends, and remembering some of my own holiday horror stories, I thought my conversation with Grandma C was worth sharing with you. Also, I wrote a blog last year on a similar topic, “The Criticism Cure.” (just click through to read it). It received a lot of response and may be helpful if you’d like to build a more positive attitude toward your loved ones, and life.
So if you want to have a happy family in the long run, think about zipping your lips in the short run.
Thanks, Grandma C!
©Mollie Morning Star 2015Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
How Can I Alleviate the Suffering of a World in Crisis?
I went to bed feeling heavy-hearted last night. Everywhere I turn messages of unrest, poverty and suffering are being shared. They are true reports, and as just one person, I feel a bit helpless in making a difference.
I saw this deeply moving photo journal of where children refugees are sleeping and it made me ache. (http://www.cnn.com/…/cnnphotos-syrian-children-refugees-sl…/) It reminded me of a book I read a few months ago called, "The Nightingale" by Kristin Hannah. The story profiles some of the suffering that the women and children in Europe experienced during World War Two. The refugee crisis we are facing now is not so different from the horrors Jewish children experienced during the Holocaust.
I went to bed feeling heavy-hearted last night. Everywhere I turn messages of unrest, poverty and suffering are being shared. They are true reports, and as just one person, I feel a bit helpless in making a difference.
I saw this deeply moving photo journal of where children refugees are sleeping and it made me ache. (http://www.cnn.com/…/cnnphotos-syrian-children-refugees-sl…/) It reminded me of a book I read a few months ago called, "The Nightingale" by Kristin Hannah. The story profiles some of the suffering that the women and children in Europe experienced during World War Two. The refugee crisis we are facing now is not so different from the horrors Jewish children experienced during the Holocaust.
Avoiding the media helps in the way of that old saying, "Ignorance is bliss." If you don't know, you can't suffer along. But the suffering is still there. And ignorance is just that: ignorance.
I'm not here to push my own opinions of politics, refugees, immigration, or terrorism but to simply ask you to think a little. We live a wildly abundant life, if you are reading this, there is a good chance you are doing so from the comfort of a warm home and have a meal to look forward to. Yet, how we stress ourselves with how we can get more, maintain our status quo or advance our security. Survival is important, but at what point do we have enough?
With the holidays upon us here in the US, I'm urging everyone to look for places that kindness in all it's forms, acts both great and small, could alleviate suffering.
It's wonderful to perform random acts of kindness, like paying for the coffee of a person in line behind you. However, the person in line probably has enough abundance to cover their own coffee since they are standing there, ready to order. That doesn't alleviate suffering.
A few weeks ago, I was in New York City enjoying a wonderful dinner that was way too much food for me. I asked the waiter to box half of it up, and put it in a bag with forks and napkins. He replied that they didn't have any disposable forks, and I just looked it him and said, "Please. It needs to be ready to eat."
As I walked to my next destination, I looked for someone who needed a meal. There were plenty of choices. I saw a person huddled under a blanket in a doorway, trying to escape the driving rain. I tapped them on the shoulder and asked, "Are you hungry?" A woman holding a dog in her arms emerged from under the blanket, dirty, obviously tired, but clear-eyed and said, "Yes."
I handed her the bag, and said, "Enjoy this, it's still warm and delicious." She smiled and said thank you, and I carried on my way. I had to fight tears, it was so painful to be "with" her in a moment of kinship---to feel just a portion of her suffering, knowing I was on my way to a show and enjoying life to the fullest.
I did this small act in honor of my old and dear friend, author Jan DeBlieu. Her only child, Reid, passed away, after which Jan set out on a mission to help humanity through Seva---selfless service. Jan is my editor now, helping with my blogs and assisting me with my upcoming book. Reid's loving Spirit is helping humanity through Jan, inspiring others to look for places where connection, compassion and love can alleviate suffering.
There are so many ways to alleviate suffering, on large global scale, and on a city street. No kindness is too small.
As we all face the news of the day, highlighting unrest and crisis, strive to be compassionate and peaceful in every dealing you have. Tolerance, selflessness, empathy need to replace our self-absorption as a society. How do your problems and stresses stack up to the ones faced by the children refugees sleeping in a ditch? Keep yourself alert to where you can be of use.
I'm praying for peace, and committed to be peaceful.
*Note, this an unedited blog taken from a Facebook post dated Nov 19th. Find it here: https://www.facebook.com/psychicmediummolliemorningstar/posts/10153803973829446:0)
Two days later, on November 21st a student at a workshop I was teaching in Chicago gave me a validating message from Jan's son, Reid! How wonderful was it to receive that confirmation if his love.
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Is Disclosing the Truth About a Loved One's Death Important?
While I was in Manchester, NH for a group reading, I received a message for bereaved parents Jon and Lois Kesty.
It went something like this:
I began to sense a young woman with me who indicated that she passed of an overdose. One of her messages was that her parents were using their voices to communicate help and hope to others.
Jon and Lois raised their hands, and said they recognized this communicator as their daughter, Sumner. I wouldn’t find out just how much good they are doing until after the group, when we sat down to talk.
While I was in Manchester, NH for a group reading, I received a message for bereaved parents Jon and Lois Kesty.
It went something like this:
I began to sense a young woman with me who indicated that she passed of an overdose. One of her messages was that her parents were using their voices to communicate help and hope to others.
Jon and Lois raised their hands, and said they recognized this communicator as their daughter, Sumner. I wouldn’t find out just how much good they are doing until after the group, when we sat down to talk.
Jon is working with an organization called Hope for New Hampshire Recovery. (http://www.hopefornhrecovery.org/) It's dedicated to supporting those who are in recovery from substance abuse.
The Kestys hope other parents never have to experience this deep loss. But, Jon added, "Sumner died of a heroin overdose and no one will be helped by covering that up." Trying to hide the circumstances of her death would not have fit with their value system or their desire to help others.
I so admire their strength, and their conviction to stand in the power of the truth.
The Kesty's in New Hampshire.
Over the years I have met with many families who are struggling to decide whether to disclose that a loved one died by suicide, overdose, or other circumstances that might be harshly judged. As it turns out, this has touched me personally.
Very recently a family member told me that my brother, who died 20 years ago, called and confessed that he was gay and had AIDS before his passing. This added more confusion to an already sad situation. Because my brother’s father and our mother were divorced (on bad terms), our side of the family was not informed that my brother had died until months later. We didn't even know he was ill.
I’d had no idea. The letter we received stated that he died from complications of severe diabetes and had contracted Hepatitis C. I've met his girlfriends, so the fact that he was gay was another surprise to me.
Where does that leave me today? Well, I wish I had known my brother better while he was here in this life. I'm certainly not tormented by his sexual orientation or cause of death, as I have regular messages from him. I know he is still with me. Neither fact changes my opinion of him. I am just sad that he wasn't comfortable enough to disclose it to everyone.
If you are in the unfortunate position of trying to decide if telling the complete truth is necessary, consider who might be helped by the disclosure.
Yesterday morning, a client shared some absolutely stunning news with me. During her connection (with her deceased mother) I was given a name to share. The client validated that the name was that of her birth father, with whom she had been reunited since our last session a few years ago. She continued to tell me that previously, I had also given her this mans name, along with the age of 76. After the initial session she wasted no time in conducting a search for him. When she found him, on the other side of the US, they connected and underwent paternity testing, which was positive. She has now established a fulfilling relationship with him. Through her deceased mother’s communication, this client received the name and age of her birth father which enabled them to meet. These results are completely extraordinary. I am still in absolute shock.
But what really got me was when she said this, “I am on a mission to uncover the truth. My whole life was spent lying, and no matter what it is, I want the truth now.” I had already written this blog post, but knew I had to add her story before sharing my this topic.
I also offer this: there is an incredible amount of love available when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and real. We connect to each other through our compassion and willingness to try understanding each another. When we cover things up and pretend we live a neat, tidy, picture-perfect life, it’s difficult for us to develop deep connections with anyone.
Real life is sloppy. It involves hard work at times. If you see someone living the picture-perfect life, you may just be witnessing the facade they have erected from fear—fear of letting their real selves be seen by the world.
Whatever you choose to do, follow the nudges of your heart.
Update: June 4, 2016 Update June 4, 2016: The autopsy results are in: Prince died from an accidental over dose of Fentanyl. Why is this important? Because opiate addictions are killing people at an unprecedented rate. New England is suffering the worst with a 40% increase in treatment for opiate overdose in Vermont in just ONE year. This is a must see article and video: Heroin in New England, More Abundant and Deadly
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
What Constitutes Evidence of the Afterlife?
One of my favorite topics to dive into is this: During a connection with Spirit, what information provides solid evidence of the afterlife?
It gets kind of technical and qualifies as "shoptalk amongst mediums." But hey-this is good for you to know. If you are sitting for a reading by a medium who knows nothing about you, and you have a teenage son who passed, a validating message could be as simple as this: "I sense a young man in Spirit who loves you very dearly." Take it for what it is. For a professional medium, however, it is not enough.
A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of conducting a session with two sisters who had recently lost a very dear relative. As they settled into their seats, preparing for me to begin, one took out several rosaries and wrapped them around her hand. The other nervously said to me, "I'm ready, but I don't want to know anything bad. Please don't tell me when I'm going to die or anything like that."
Stifling a giggle, I calmly explained to them that a connection to a deceased loved one is about healing grief and certainly not about telling someone when they will die. I added that props were not necessary and didn't enhance the connection. However, she had given away that her deceased relative was Catholic.
There are a lot of myths out there about what mediums do and how they do it. It's understandable that we get a bad rap. Most people get their information from watching TV, which couldn't be further from reality! My life mission is to teach the average person how the connection works and how they can recognize it on their own.
One of my favorite topics to dive into is this: During a connection with Spirit, what information provides solid evidence of the afterlife?
It gets kind of technical and qualifies as "shoptalk amongst mediums." But hey-this is good for you to know. If you are sitting for a reading by a medium who knows nothing about you, and you have a teenage son who passed, a validating message could be as simple as this: "I sense a young man in Spirit who loves you very dearly." Take it for what it is. For a professional medium, however, it is not enough.
Last week in Minneapolis, I connected a man in Spirit to his wife in the audience. He clairvoyantly showed me a jar with dried beans in it. I was befuddled. I saw him shake it up and down, and he communicated, "Mention shaking the jar of beans." He was insistent. Sure enough, years earlier their child had made a craft project in grade school, a jar of beans. The woman had very recently found it and had been shaking it. Standing there in front of the crowd, I just couldn't believe how on-the-mark that evidence was. A jar of dried beans? Very cool! It shows that the deceased man's spirit is present in their home and clearly seeing his family.
It's good evidence, but guess what? It is not the best evidence we can get. Why? Because there is a small chance I could have picked up that information by connecting with the living woman, instead of the deceased man. It was something that existed within her own energy. It's one of those moments when the audience says, "Ohhhh...ahhh." TV producers love that stuff. But there is evidence that is even better.
Let me explain to you what the very best evidence looks like, and why it causes no thrill in an audience. To prove without any doubt that deceased people continue to have awareness of current situations, they need to give us information that we cannot validate unless we check with a third party. This process eliminates the possibility of the medium making a psychic connection with the person in her presence. That doesn't happen in the moment.
At a group in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, this month, I made a connection with a man giving the name of Robert. A woman who had come to the reading with her daughter recognized the name and accompanying details as being her stepbrother. All the information he provided was easily validated until he showed me a big "Welcome Home!" banner. She didn't know what that meant. I asked if someone had moved recently or returned from a trip. She just didn't know. "Just remember it." I said.
The next evening, I received this email from her daughter:
"Mollie.... First of all, you have such a beautiful gift and I just have to thank you for the message you gave my mom and I yesterday. I wanted to tell you that when my mom's stepbrother came through last night and you mentioned the "welcome home" banner... My mom and I couldn't validate that but we definitely can now. His daughter just posted on Facebook that it's her first night in her new home with her boyfriend. We don't really keep in touch with her or see her post on Facebook often, so when I saw that I knew I had to tell you we can validate that! Thanks again, for everything..."
This third party validation process actually happened three times at events that weekend. A woman got a message from a friend's grandfather named Dillon. To validate it, she had to call her friend and pass on the information. She too, sent me an email the next day. Another woman in the audience recognized a co-worker's mother in Spirit, Sandy, who was trying to communicate during the group. She was able to validate a few things in the moment, but she wrote a few days later to say she spoke with her coworker and validated the rest.
I often say when I pass on a detail that doesn't seem relevant, "Just remember it, please." And sometimes people get annoyed! They are there with the hopes of receiving a personal message, and here we have deceased people that are only loosely connected to a person in the audience, trying to get a message across the so-called wire.
Further thought and contemplation is really important at moments like this. The most overwhelming thing we need is proof of the afterlife. What's true for one is true for all. There is absolutely nothing that gives me more gratification in my work than validation by a third party. It feels like a personal message just for me, Spirit saying, "Yooohooo, Mollie, we REALLY are here!"
It gives me that, "Oh my goodness, there REALLY is vibrant life after death" feeling all over again.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014-15-16 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed
You might remember me mentioning that my ceiling collapsed last year due to a roof leak that went unnoticed while I was on a West Coast tour. After getting a new roof this summer, I am finally repairing the interior damage.
The entry and kitchen are getting some new drywall, fresh paint, a window, and I figured while everything is ripped to shreds, I might as well replace my ailing tile countertops. (click through to read on)
You might remember me mentioning that my ceiling collapsed last year due to a roof leak that went unnoticed while I was on a West Coast tour. After getting a new roof this summer, I am finally repairing the interior damage.
The entry and kitchen are getting some new drywall, fresh paint, a window, and I figured while everything is ripped to shreds, I might as well replace my ailing tile countertops.
I've always wanted painted cabinets, but never did it because everyone always says, "You can't paint nice wood!" It's a Pandora's box in a 1923 house. There is no end to the needed renovations.
Last week as I was agonizing (again) over whether or not to paint the cabinets my friend called, upset. She had just heard the terrible news that a young friend of hers received a terminal cancer diagnosis.
I couldn't stop thinking about the situation as I scraped and sanded the ceilings that afternoon. I had just had a session with a client who also recently received a terminal diagnosis. He was desperate to know if there is an afterlife that we can communicate with as he worries about his impending departure from the Earthly plane.
I take this all to heart; it's like the Universe is sending the message again to live fully each day. I know we all have our ideas of what that means to us, but somehow hearing that another young parent is going to die soon tripped a trigger in me. It's ridiculous to NOT paint my cabinets if that is what I like. It suddenly felt ridiculous to delay anything that I wanted or needed to do.
It reminded me of this article I wrote in July of 2014 that garnered a huge response from my readers. I copied it below. The original blog post is here.
It Can Happen to You.
I admit: my job has taken a toll on my level of tolerance for going to bed angry; screaming about the messes that have been made; delaying apologies, even if I wasn't wrong. These days I'm owning my stuff, all of it, every situation I created. I can't let you leave without saying, "I love you." anymore. Yes, I want one more hug, maybe two. Yes, I cry when you turn the corner and are out of sight. I can no longer tolerate stuffing my feelings. No, I can't sit back and be an observer anymore. All of these are occupational hazards. Every single day, I consult with person after person who is trying to cope with the worst day of his or her life. I always think I've heard it all when it comes to tragic ways to die, and as it turns out, I haven't. The stories just keep coming.
These are the side effects of realizing truly, deeply and even sadly, that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Tragedy isn't confined to a social class, a country, good people or bad people. There is no way to delineate who is next. Cancer doesn't love a certain skin color. Accidents don't care if you just had a world class fight with your spouse. Heart attacks really don't mind that you were going to retire next month. Aneurysms happen to healthy 8-year-olds. And 16-year-olds. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
The real tragedy in all of this is not so much that the people I work with don't see this, because they are LIVING it, but the average guy on the street thinks, "Oh, that poor family." He doesn't really get that he might be the next man on his knees banging his head on the floor trying to feel reality because his mind just can't process what he just heard over the phone. Yes, that's actually what happens when you get the call that your child was found dead. You pound your head on hard surfaces to see if a reality still exists.
I know this may not be an uplifting read for you, but it is something that gnaws away at me daily. I am impassioned about living today fully, and this is why. On a recent road trip with a girlfriend, I finally let all of this out to her and confessed I wish I could write about it. "Do it! You need to," she said.
Ladies and Gentleman, life owes you nothing. Somehow your Soul managed to get inside of a body to have this experience on Earth and however many days, years or decades you get to wear it is a gift. Does this not stir within you a deep, abiding desire to live fully today? It really should. No matter what you've lost up to this point, you are still here, simply by virtue that you are reading this, and still capable of creating love today.
Do you owe it to your loved one who died to live fully today? That sounds noble doesn't it? Honestly, you owe it to yourself. You are still breathing and you still have a chance to do something today.
What you choose to create is completely up to you. Of course there will always be excuses and circumstances which prevent you from doing what you really want. You may always cling to the excuse that what you really want is to return to the past. I like excuses, too. I'd avoid every problem possible if they didn't constantly smack me in the face. Excuses are the walls that separate you from healing and getting on with the business of living.
Let's simplify this just a little: no excuses. No buts. Shed the anger. Lose the regret. Instead, ask yourself one simple, but life-changing question: Where can you create love today?
©Mollie Morning Star 2014-15 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.