Comfort vs. Healing

I've just returned from a wonderful five-city tour of the Upper Midwest that involved driving about 1,300 miles.  Let me tell you, my back hurts!  When I would sink into my car, I'd turn the seat heater on high because it provided some comfort for my aching back. Churning through my mind, though, was an incessant worry about what might be happening beneath the surface. Three years ago I had back surgery to remove pieces of a broken disk. I had suffered terribly for two years before that surgery, trying every possible therapy. The surgery finally provided the deep healing I needed. 

With so much time on the highway to think about the people I had met on the trip and the messages from their loved ones in Spirit, I found myself debating the qualities of healing versus comfort.

 A few years ago, when I stopped scheduling private sessions and turned to a wait list to manage the large number of people requesting appointments with me, I had to sit down and get very clear about my life purpose. Did I want to help three people a day, or did I want to commit to travel and writing? It wasn't difficult. I knew exactly how I hoped to use my ability to communicate with people who have passed. 

I am here to help as many people as possible learn that communication with a deceased loved one is a natural process that is always available to them. 

 The problem with having a reading with a medium is that it's a one-hit wonder. It's an amazing validation that opens the doors of your mind to new possibilities, in which death becomes another type of birth to celebrate. Where we once saw only an ending, we now see another beginning. The relief and healing is nearly instantaneous. It usually makes people want another session right away! 

But where do you go from there? 

Having repetitive sessions with a medium provides comfort only. Your very first session is the one that proves to you that the connection to those you love is eternal. No one ever truly dies--only the body does. 

We all need comfort sometimes. That is what my seat heater gave my back last week. Comfort. So did Tylenol. But did they heal my back? No. They simply helped me get through the day and be able to work. The underlying issue remains, and I need to know if I have again fractured a disk.  

Healing on a spiritual and emotional level requires "surgery" of a different sort. It's an inside job. You have to remove the source of injury, which is often the fear-based thoughts. 

Is my loved one okay?

Did my loved one transition easily or get stuck somewhere?

Are they angry with me?

Do they know how much they are loved and missed?

All these questions are sources of deep pain that arise from a lack of knowledge or experience with the afterlife. And all can be answered by increasing your spiritual knowledge as you make a conscious decision to reach for the light.  You have to do the work. Sitting around waiting for a "sign" from a loved one isn't going to provide you with the healing you need to get back to the business of living.

If you have experienced the awe and wonder of a connection with a loved one through a medium, it's now time to cultivate that communication on your own. Here are some specific actions you can take that will provide comfort as you journey towards healing. 

  • Read books on spirituality and afterlife communication. I always recommend George Anderson's books.
  • Attend spiritual seminars or go see a medium work in a live demonstration. There are a few large and awesome seminars that tour the US. These includeCelebrate Your Life!and I Can Do It! They often include mediums but are more directed to living consciously in a spiritual way. 
  • Join a group that is specific to your loss. Look toThe Compassionate Friends Network for those who have experienced the passing of a child. The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors provides understanding and support for those seeking light after such a tragic loss.
  • Accept help from friends who offer to spend time with you. Sometimes the best dose of comfort can be found in the distraction that a kind friend provides with a cup of tea, a movie, a walk, a conversation, or a simple hour of companionship.  

Make your healing a priority. Once you have an experience that truly changes your mind about death being the end of a relationship, you need to seek experiences that buoy your faith in the afterlife. This will help carry you through the moments when waves of grief come washing into your shore. 

Even as a medium with a full knowledge of the awesome connection we share with our loved ones in Spirit, I can tell you this: You will still miss them. The sound of your child's laughter, the warmth of a mother's hug, or the scent of your beloved's perfume are incredible physical pleasures that can't be replicated. But all is not lost with their passing. They--their consciousness, their essential being--is alive, well and ready to communicate. All you need to do is learn the subtlety of their language. 

It's not difficult. It only takes a willingness to believe that what you think may be a sign from them is just that. Trust your instincts-and the healing will come.

©Mollie Morning Star 2015  Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited. 

Mollie Morning Star

Mollie Morning Star is an evidential psychic medium providing validating afterlife readings to heal grief. She authors a blog focused on spiritual lessons received during medium readings to inspire vibrabt living after the death of a loved one.