Our Loved Ones as Spirits—Not Humans  

In the last six weeks I have been inundated with questions from people who are driving themselves crazy, thinking their beloved Souls in Spirit must still be reacting to the bumps and jolts of life like humans do.

Why would that be? They’ve transitioned to a different realm, and believe, me, they’re different themselves.

Let me share some of the situations:

A good friend said about her son who had passed, “Man! I can’t even imagine how he’s stewing about this (family situation) in Spirit!” 

A very spiritual friend asked, “Mollie, do you think my brother is upset about _____, who didn’t come to his funeral? I mean, is he deeply offended?”

A question posted on a suicide support website was forwarded to me: “I had a friend who had transgender feelings near the end of his life. Does anyone have experience about what gender that person is in Heaven now?”

A comment from a client, “I’m surprised she didn’t have more to say about all that has happened with her many children since her death.” 

And, a really frequent question I get on Facebook, “Is my child growing up in Heaven?” 

Whoaaaaaaaaa, Nelly! Let’s slow this crazy-train down a second and get grounded. 

A teacher I studied with in England, Simon James, once said, “The Soul is unborn and cannot die.” Among mediums, we often say, “You don’t have a Soul, you ARE a Soul having a human experience.” 

A human being is a physical body that is ultimately limited and ruled by the physical world. Someone you love that has died has shed the physical body and the limitations it carried. It’s completely understandable that you still see them as having a body, because that is how you knew them and loved them here. But now they do not—and that is a very good thing.

I took a poll on my Facebook Page asking this question, “Upon death, does the Soul become enlightened?”

Overwhelmingly, people responded yes. In my many years of giving verifiable readings, I can say this conclusion is completely consistent with my experience. I have never connected with a Soul that has indicated anything different. 

So my opinion is that yes, when we die we are enlightened as to:

 –what our life purpose was, 

–how our actions affected others and

–why certain situations developed. We can see their purpose, and we can release our judgments about them.

So, without the judgments, where does that leave a Soul as far as his/her opinion on what the living are up to? 

Is your mom super ticked-off that her daughters fought over her jewelry? 

Well, she couldn’t take it with her, so the jewelry wasn’t that important to her in the end. She certainly is aware of the struggle that her daughters have with their attachment to material goods, and she sees that they are learning lessons about that.

Is your brother hurt that someone didn’t show up to his funeral? 

Not really. He is now aware of the spiritual struggle that the person who didn’t show up is going through. He is much more likely to have compassion for that person than to be offended. 

Is my friend male or female in Heaven? 

Male or female is something a body is. Souls are neither. If you were to have a connection with this Soul through a medium, he or she—take your pick—would present him/herself in a way you would recognize. That could be as a male, but perhaps with a softer energy. 

Is my child growing up in Heaven? 

Without a human body, I doubt that your six-year-old is now six feet tall. What’s much more important is that your child’s soul is still growing. That is true for all of us, on Earth and in Heaven. We are always learning. When you are reunited, you will recognize your child, and that terrible, physical chasm between you will be filled to overflowing with a sacred connection.

When you book a reading with a medium, the intent and purpose of the session is to receive validations that your loved one has survived the change we call death and is still aware of your life. These validations prove the survival of the Soul beyond death of the body. 

I sometimes explain what it is like to do a reading like this:

Imagine a very deep swimming pool, with lots of objects down at the bottom. I take a deep breath, jump in and use every bit of energy that I can to gather objects. When I can no longer hold my breath, I surface and we see what we’ve got.

To that end, when I do a reading for a client, I jump into the energy and gather information. It’s always my hope and prayer that the information I am able to gather will serve the purpose of identification and validation. 

Here’s what a reading is not: a direct opportunity for your loved one to relay opinions about the choices people make and the goings on here in the physical realm.

There is a world of difference between your loved one being aware of your marital issues and communicating a message for you to pursue a divorce.

While your loved ones are aware of all that goes on, you may or may not receive a specific validation in any reading. And further, you may get totally different validations from different mediums. Everything is dependent on what information the medium can gather in that moment. This may not be at all what you think is the “most important.” 

When it comes to teaching bereaved persons about Soul communication, I always try to take a very gentle approach, especially with someone who is already hurting. This, however, is one of those times where only a blunt answer will do.

It is not the place of a deceased person to weigh in on situations with their judgments, as if they are still ruled by physical conditions. They are not. Lucky them! So they are no longer engaged in the fight to keep a human body alive. The survival of the fittest does not apply. Their Soul is free from that confined state, and so is their mind. They understand the bigger picture in ways we do not. 

I really hope that this will answer your questions about whether those we love who have died are now at peace. Remember not to impose physical traits on someone who is within the spiritual realm. They see the bigger picture. They communicate with us to show their love and support for you as you continue the sometimes-difficult course of having a human experience. 


This blog is dedicated to Jan De Blieu, with loving thoughts of her son, Reid, that passed away eight years ago today. Jan is an author that I met over 20 years ago while living on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We had sons at the same time, and I helped care for Reid when he was a toddler so Jan could have focused time for writing. All these years and a different life later, Jan is now the editor of my blog. I would be thrilled to have her help in any circumstance, but she also serves another purpose as the filter and voice of a bereaved mother with my work. Jan embarked on a deep soul-mission to search for service opportunities to help soothe her grief and I recommend following her writing on her blog or her Facebook Page.

Reid continues to be a guiding light for us both as we work to help others work through times of grief into the joy of meaningful connection. 


We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.


©Mollie Morning Star 2017 | All Rights Reserved |  Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited. 

Mollie Morning Star

Mollie Morning Star is an evidential psychic medium providing validating afterlife readings to heal grief. She authors a blog focused on spiritual lessons received during medium readings to inspire vibrabt living after the death of a loved one.