Quieting the Peanut Gallery
Back when my children were young, to try and save myself some embarrassment whenever we dined at friends’ homes, I taught them they could use one of two answers if asked if they liked the food: “Yes! Thanks for cooking!” or “It’s interesting. Thanks for cooking!” Blurting out “It’s horrible!” wasn’t helpful or kind. A meal is a gift, not a place to inject negative opinions.
Back when my children were young, to try and save myself some embarrassment whenever we dined at friends’ homes, I taught them they could use one of two answers if asked if they liked the food: “Yes! Thanks for cooking!” or “It’s interesting. Thanks for cooking!” Blurting out “It’s horrible!” wasn’t helpful or kind. A meal is a gift, not a place to inject negative opinions.
Well, it’s been an “interesting” week for me. Like anyone else who is coping with the human condition 100% of the time, I can handle most stresses if they come at me one by one. But when stress comes slapping in from every angle, it’s time to stop and regroup before I reach the breakdown point. That’s the “interesting” meal the Universe cooked up for me this week. Family, work, health, and tax day…one big, simmering pot of chaos.
When I logged online, I found a nastier-than-usual dose of comments from the Peanut Gallery called Facebook. I’m not going to share the details of what I regularly receive, but it goes way beyond, “This is devil’s work!” But alas, it’s Facebook, and lots of people spew their hate in 30 seconds and move on. Then there’s the Peanut Gallery called my Inbox: I’m amazed when people take the time to email me nasty comments or even “helpful” suggestions that aren’t helpful at all. All of this adds up to a lot of chatter in my head. Not the dead people this time—just me, The Peanut Gallery of Mollie, chiding myself and sinking deeper into the problem instead of the solution.
I was so stressed out I couldn’t sleep—which is one trouble I never have. Being a traveler, I’ve learned to sleep wherever I am. I gave in at 3 a.m. and decided to have a cup of tea. As I sat there sipping, I tried to dream up logical answers for each situation, and I just couldn’t. So instead I prayed and asked for angelic help, for Spirit, for God, for my dead brother—-anything, anyone who could show me the path to serenity.
The angels didn’t manifest. There was no sudden miracle. Geez, I couldn’t even get my brother to make a light to flicker to show his presence. I felt lost, except for one small thought that popped into my head.
The chaos would keep cranking up until I changed course.
I knew it was true. Change is the only way out of an issue. Either the issue changes, or you change yourself.
I realized my work schedule needed a major overhaul—and how disappointing that would be for some people. I realized that my injured back needs to be babied for the next few weeks. Lots of inconvenience there! The other situations lay outside of me. I could only change my reaction to them.
I gave thanks to the stress for showing me the areas I need to work on. I also gave thanks to the Universe, or God, for giving me this lesson in a compassionate way. I’m in a challenging situation that I can’t transform quickly. But even on a lousy day there is always a “best case scenario” that can happen within the framework that exists. I crawled back into bed and got up two hours later, still exhausted and with a migraine. That’s when grace started unfurling on my behalf, and I saw the best case scenario playing out right before my eyes.
During an early morning work meeting, I was encouraged to stay strong and reminded that, “It’s darkest before the dawn.”
A good friend with whom I haven’t spoken in months sent me this text out of the blue: “Don’t worry. It will all be all right.” You’ve got to be kidding! His Soul was picking up my spiritual SOS. Trusting his intuition, he responded to my energetic plea for help.
And while the troublesome situations sat and simmered unchanged, I checked out of life for three hours to receive the gift of a massage and water therapy for my back at a beautiful spa. The gift was given by someone who loves me and wants me to be able to work pain-free. I protested when it was offered, thinking it was just too much to accept. But then I realized it was the Universe conspiring to help me. As I relaxed into the hot water, I told the Peanut Gallery of Mollie it had two choices: shut up or give thanks. So, for the next three hours, I silently expressed gratitude for everything and focused on my trusty affirmation of many years, “ I am healthy, happy, whole, well, loved and abundant.”
In the massage room there was a small card waiting for me with a picture of a flowing stream and a quote.
“Hardships often prepare people for an extraordinary destiny.” --C.S. Lewis
“Go with the flow,” I thought, looking at the picture of the stream. That’s when I thought of you. The thousands of people who look to me to be a light seen from the depths of their grief. The extraordinary, everyday people I meet who are living through the hell of loss, and who can’t change a damn thing about their situations.
I walked out of the spa feeling much better. Nothing had actually changed. I still have schedule, family, health and tax-day stresses to confront. But now I’m sure I can handle them, especially knowing that I have coworkers, friends, strangers and even a Higher Power willing to encourage, comfort and inspire me along the way.
Perhaps you need to give your Peanut Gallery an ultimatum, too. Taking a break, even a few hours, from situations you cannot change and infusing your being with gratitude can help get you through the day more peacefully. Prayers are often answered by our friends. Accept the Divine’s response to your requests through the people directed into your life. Just say “Yes!” And don’t forget to add a heartfelt “Thank you!”
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Preparing for a Wonderful Session
Every day I see people in need of a healing mediumship session sabotage their opportunity because they are uninformed about my number one top tip to ensure a wonderful connection. Over the past few years, the interest in mediumship has absolutely exploded. So many people are seeking a personal session but don't know where to start. I'm here to help! After years of doing professional readings, I'd love to share three of my top tips to make certain you have the helpful experience you need to take the next step on your path toward healing after a loss.
Over the past few years, the interest in mediumship has absolutely exploded. So many people are seeking a personal session but don't know where to start. After years of doing professional readings, I'd love to share my top tips to ensure you have the helpful experience you need to take the next step on your path toward healing after a loss.
1. Keep your information to yourself. If you only take ONE single piece of knowledge away from reading this article, please, let it be this. When you are seeking evidence validating the existence of the afterlife, it is absolutely VITAL that you do not share information about your deceased loved one, or yourself, with a medium prior to the session. It is the job of the medium to work with the Soul/Spirit of your loved one to obtain facts and evidence that validate their identity and proof of survival.
Actions to consider:
- Do not allow mediums to have access to your Facebook profile by being their "Friend" on Facebook.
- "Like" professional pages on Facebook and and opt to get notifications when they update their page. (If you don't opt for notifications, you will not receive their posts.)
- Have a friend book your session for you and use a false name. That's a bit extreme, but if you are concerned, then simply do it.
- Do not email a medium and tell them who you are hoping to reach. It will hinder, not help your connection.
I cannot stress this enough: this is the most important component of a great session and it is completely your responsibility to keep your information private. This is why I do not read for friends nor do I recommend repeated sessions.
2. Keep your connection options open. Very few people live within a reasonable driving distance of a reputable medium; having your session by telephone, Skype or FaceTime is almost always the best solution. I have been doing phone/Skype sessions for years with excellent success. I recommend it over an in-person session for three main reasons:
- Ease of scheduling and on-time appointments
- Access to reputable, excellent mediums no matter where you live
- Additional evidence can be given when you are not visible to the medium
The most interesting part of this is the last. I cannot tell you how many phone sessions I have done for people where their deceased loved one communicated something like, "Tell her I love her short, blonde hair." When in fact, the person on the other end of the phone had undergone a drastic hair change since their loved one's passing. During one phone session, a deceased husband communicated to his living wife that he saw a problem with his wife's neck, and he noted that it was quite serious. The reply was priceless, "Oh my!! I'm sitting here in a neck brace and I am having surgery in a few weeks!" None of that information would have been validating if the client had been sitting in front of me.
3. Learn all you can before your session. This is especially important for the newly-bereaved. Popular television shows have opened the minds of people everywhere to the possibility of the afterlife, and simultaneously, filled those same minds with a lot of erroneous information. Mediums do not see ghosts and talk to the dead. (At least the reputable, excellent mediums I know do not!) Communication with a deceased loved one is done by mental telepathy; it is a language of energy and of the Soul. It is very subtle. If you come into a session with the expectation of sitting down and talking to your loved one, you will be disappointed. The objective of a session is to receive validations and evidence of the afterlife, and you should expect that outcome. I personally will not conduct a session with anyone until they have allowed me to thoroughly explain how the communication takes place from a technical standpoint. Only then will I proceed with communication. For me to jump right into the session would be similar to offering the newly-bereaved a session in Japanese, when they don't speak the language. Want to know more? Here are some terrific books to get you started:
- All books by George Anderson including, "Walking in the Garden of Souls" and "Lessons from the Light"
- "Soul Shift" and "Messages from the Afterlife" by Mark Ireland
- The Power of the Soul by John Holland
These are just my top three tips, but there is so much more information available on my blog. Please take some time to read up to prepare yourself for a successful session with the medium you choose.
Oh, and one bonus tip since you made it all the way to the end: remember that celebrity mediums are still celebrities, and entertainment is not education.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Simple Things Mean the Most.
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
The Simple Things Mean The Most
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
About an hour ago I checked my mail and was surprised to see the aforementioned box outside my door, addressed from a skin care company I love. Excited, I opened it and found a beautiful gift set of my favorite products and a note from a wonderful friend. She caught me completely by surprise! Obviously, she had listened carefully to me many months ago when I casually mentioned how much I enjoyed these products. I took a picture of Moka sleeping in the box and sent it to her, along with a message saying he loved the box she sent.
Her surprise gesture made me feel so good. I mean, really good. I love surprises!
Last week, a holiday card arrived in my mail without a return address. It ended up being from an dear client of mine who wrote,"Thank you for helping me through the pain of losing yet another family member. Your messages have helped and given me some peace."
I can't tell you the surprise I felt that was quickly followed by a deep, humbling sense of gratitude. It shocked me a bit that she would think of me at the holidays; months, or even years after her reading. Her simple gesture filled me with happiness all day.
Another friend of mine sent me an email this week thanking me for the Christmas card I sent her. In it, she told me that she was cleaning out her kitchen drawer and found a card I had sent her some time ago and it reminded her that I was the first person to connect her with her daughter who has passed. Her email made me cry; there's nothing like first-thing-in-the-morning, still-haven't-had-coffee sentimentality.
After a group session in Chicago a few weeks ago someone in the audience approached me and said, "Mollie, you are always giving messages to everyone and today I have one for you. I saw this on the Internet and just really felt I needed to print it out for you."Into my hands she pressed a piece of paper with the quote on it,"When it's time for Souls to meet, there's nothing on Earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located." The message was relevant, beautiful and delivered right on time. It was a thoughtful gesture.
And one more simple thing that really made my day. Last night as I was dragging my suitcase in the house after my last trip of the year, I got a text message from a friend. It simply said, "Welcome home, love. I missed you." That, too, made me tear up. I don't get messages like that often.
My pleasure in life is almost entirely made of up of simple things that connect me to other people.
An unexpected gift.
An old card, reread and enjoyed again.
Creating the time to share a cup of tea with a friend.
Watching my cat do cat things.
Getting text message pictures from my daughter who is excited about her sewing project.
Sharing your joy with someone, in any capacity, is the best "simple thing" there is. After you have suffered the loss of a close loved one, you'll really understand the profound message this blog bears. Life is about simple things. Gestures and actions of thoughtfulness make everyday life abundant, no matter how grim the weather.
Anytime you can, share your love or joy with someone. Inspiration gives birth to miracles, and feeling connected is the greatest of them all.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Gifts of Grief
It seems like an oxymoron to use the words "gift" and "grief" in the same sentence, yet, we have the free will to choose how we observe any occurrence in life.
Grief is usually described with every adjective imaginable that symbolizes energy loss.
In short, it sucks. It sucks our willpower, our joie de vivre, our hope and usually our dreams for the future, too. With time comes knowledge and some objectivity. When the loss is new, it is difficult to see anything resembling an offering from the Universe. Several years down the road however, those who are diligently doing inner spiritual work can list for you several important gifts that were disguised as lessons during the healing process of grieving.
It seems like an oxymoron to use the words "gift" and "grief" in the same sentence, yet, we have the free will to choose how we observe any occurrence in life.
Grief is usually described with every adjective imaginable that symbolizes energy loss.
In short, it sucks. It sucks our willpower, our joie de vivre, our hope and usually our dreams for the future, too. With time comes knowledge and some objectivity. When the loss is new, it is difficult to see anything resembling an offering from the Universe. Several years down the road however, those who are diligently doing inner spiritual work can list for you several important gifts that were disguised as lessons during the healing process of grieving.
Here are some of the most profound insights people have shared with me that arose as byproduct of their loss. If you are newly-bereaved, this list may give you hope for days that are a bit further down your path.
A deeper appreciation for the small, positive moments of life.
When people take a few minutes to reflect upon what they miss about a loved one who has died or left, I hear more about the small things people did than the big ones. The big things a wife might miss about her husband was his ability to take care of her and the family financially. Yet, if you ask her what she misses about him, the answers are always things like, "His roaring laugh." "He woke up before me every morning and made the coffee." "He always called me at lunch time." We may argue that we already appreciate how good we have it when a loved one is alive and well, but the value of such precious moments grows immeasurably when they are a memory instead of a present reality.
A need to correct misunderstandings as quickly as possible.
Your mother was right when she said not to go to bed angry. People die in their sleep; that's a reality. They also die suddenly from heart attacks, car accidents and natural disasters. There is never a better time to forgive and forget than right now. Reach out to someone with whom you have a discordant relationship, and offer the proverbial olive branch. Perhaps the differences cannot be resolved, but you can always let go with love instead of anger.
The ability to let go of differences and most disagreements.
My good friend Troy often says, "It just doesn't matter." The jewelry from your grandmother that you were supposed to inherit instead of your cousin? It just doesn't matter. That hateful comment posted on social media by someone you hardly know? It just doesn't matter. The friend who refuses to compromise? It just doesn't matter. Move on. Your life energy is more precious than money; be careful how and where you spend it. You could invest a lot of time into petty circumstances and consequently feel drained when something or someone truly worthwhile comes along.
A reduction in the fear of failure.
The biggest regrets in life are often the chances we don't take. This is not encouragement to repeat past mistakes; but sometimes our fears of failing, being humiliated, embarrassed, wrong or shamed prevent us from taking necessary risks in life to better our circumstances and relationships. The only guarantee in physical life is eventual death, and when you have dealt with that loss, it's possible to bury some of our fears with our loved ones. Life is meant for living and often the bereaved feel a new vitality surrounding their ability to try things that used to scare them.
Judgment of others is transformed into compassion.
When you have had to deal with loss due to suicide, drug abuse or tragic circumstances, your sense of compassion for the person dealing with the challenge/addiction/illness and their loved ones trying to cope with the situation is heightened immeasurably. As a naive person, it's quite easy to view a drug addict with a sense of disgust, but with experience comes wisdom. The ability to see another person for their light, bravery and connection to us through their Soul instead of their circumstances, is one of the most enlightened places from which to view the world. We need to see the addict as a Soul who needs unconditional love; the controlling individual as a Soul who needs additional security; the fearful human as someone who has been hurt and needs to be gently cared for. It always comes back to our collective, basic need for unconditional love. Do you accept that YOU need unconditional love, too? When we are able to let go of judgment in favor of compassion, we are able to give that same grace to ourselves.
In the wake of loss, this transformation gives us powerful new perspective to navigate the many changes of life.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.