What a joy and privilege it is to create life and be a mother, and likewise, how difficult the path is for those who have had to put their joy "on hold" after the loss of a child. One thought I offer for consideration is that once you have become a parent, you are always a parent. The acts of loving a child can never be undone; it truly is an eternal relationship that is forever alive and vital. It always breaks my heart when I meet a bereaved parent who declares they are no longer a parent since their child died. While I can understand the depth of that feeling, there is nothing I wish I could do more than help a person realize their child is still alive, still connected and still....their child. When your child lives in Heaven, your commitment as a parent is a million times harder to fulfill. The "work" is never done! If you think it's bad to deal with a mountain of laundry, dirty dishes and endless school meetings, I can assure you, dealing with the ABSENCE of these privileges is, literally, a million times harder. Talk about becoming a pillar of strength that holds the family together....yes, this is the path of the bereaved parent. Endless work, mostly on yourself.
I recall a session I did several years ago in early Spring for a bereaved mother named Sheryl, connecting to her shining, teenage son, Tyler. The connection was great, with wonderful, clear evidence and validations. Tyler pulled a fast one on me when he told me to communicate to his mother that he'd be sending her a "Mother's Day gift this year." Instantly I protested to him, thinking, "You can't do that, you can't make future promises and predictions!" My logic got in the way, and I thought, "How can he possibly provide her with a specific gift without the benefits of a body, money and physicality?" Thankfully, he persisted and I passed the message on to her: "Your son is sending you a Mother's Day gift."
So, after Mother's Day I received a note from Sheryl about her "gift" and it remains one of the most remarkable stories of hope I have been a party to. On that Mother's Day Sunday, it happened to be nice weather and she was doing yard work with her family. They had left the garage door open, as most of us do when we are working in the yard. After hearing a crash in the garage, Sheryl walked in and saw that something hung on a pegboard that had been attached to the wall for many years had fallen onto the floor, backside up. In front of her was her "gift." Many years ago, when Tyler was a little boy, Sheryl had allowed him to play with paint on the backside of it, a moment she had long forgotten. A two hearts; one "Ty" and one "Mom," with the message, "Love" above them, had been hand-painted there by a precious, perfect son who somehow created a situation where something fell off the wall, at an exact moment, on a specific day, to soothe, heal and comfort. I'm listing that one right up there among small miracles!
You are loved by those in Spirit, whether it's your own mother who is now caring for you spiritually, or a beloved child who is trying to say, "I'm still here!" The love is forever.
You can read more about Sheryl's connections in her book, "Walking on Sunshine."
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.