Making Room for Reality
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old…
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old daughter to illness. I think of the parents whose son was murdered by his friend. I think of my young friend who had a brain tumor removed on Tuesday. With all these sad occurrences, I don’t know how any of us can even find the appetite to eat. It seems a harsh reality when your happiness has been so challenged.
As the years go by and we grow older, our lives become richer in meaningful experiences that encompass the entirety of our lives: joy and loss.
Some of us at the Thanksgiving table may have suffered terrible losses in the past year. How can we find room for thanks in our hearts? Others of us may be seated alongside someone who’s grieving and not know how to act.
What can we do? We can draw support from each other by looking for hope in those around us.
One of life’s greatest hope-givers is the innocence of young children who can still experience unbridled joy without realizing that what goes up, must come down. One day this summer I was sitting in my dining room working on my computer when I heard the familiar voice of the little girl who lives down the street wafting in through the open windows. “Hi Mollie! Hi Mollie!” she called out. As I looked up, I saw her cruising by my house on her bike. Dear Charlotte yelled hello to me every time she passed my house, whether there was any chance of me hearing her or not. Trust me, when I did hear her, my heart overflowed.
Children hold so much space for connection, and we need to truly appreciate that when life seems bleak. They forgive quickly and ask for love when they need it. Why don’t we? We hold onto past grievances like trophies and quietly wish that someone will notice our loneliness.
As we face the realities of life, including tremendous losses, we need to remember that it is possible to hold space for both joy and sadness. They can share the same table, and in an authentic world, they always would.
Holding space for sadness at the holidays doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But it is a loving choice you can make to show compassion and empathy for those you care about.
When you hold space for reality, you meet people where they are, rather than asking them to change for you.
On holidays when I am sad or grieving, I try always to remember this: What a gift it is to have time in the company of people I care for. This is the thought I try to hold on to. Being around children especially helps me appreciate that gift.
For those of us who haven’t suffered loss, and who have lots to be thankful for this year:
-Let the newly bereaved cry without making them feel like they need to leave the room. They are grateful today, too, and have counted every blessing hundreds of times. But their hearts are crushed.
-You don’t need to fix anything or cheer anyone up. The death of a beloved spouse, or a parent, or a child cannot be fixed. Connection is more valuable than cheerfulness. Meeting people where they are means connecting with them so they don’t feel isolated. Try saying something like, “I know this day is so hard without Michael here.”
-And most important: SAY THE NAME of the person who has passed. SAY THEIR NAME. SAY THEIR NAME! There is nothing that comforts the bereaved more than knowing their loved one is remembered on holidays when every family member should be present.
“I remember when Hannah ate the entire can of whipped cream on her pumpkin pie.”
“Theresa loved hosting Thanksgiving so much, it was her favorite holiday.”
“ I wish Paul was with us today.”
Hold space at the holidays for reality, knowing that a meaningful life encompasses both joy and sorrow. Gratefulness is hard to feel during times of deep grief, but making a choice to acknowledge every small blessing is the place to start healing your heart.
Even an avalanche begins with a single snowflake.
Need a little more hope for making it through the holidays? Here’s a list of holiday blogs from years past:
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2018 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
What Happens When a Celebrity Dies?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Update June 4, 2016: The autopsy results are in: Prince died from an accidental over dose of Fentanyl. Why is this important? Because opiate addictions are killing people at an unprecedented rate. New England is suffering the worst with a 40% increase in treatment for opiate overdose in Vermont in just ONE year. This is a must read article and video: Heroin in New England, More Abundant and Deadly
Related Article: Prince died from accidental overdose of fentanyl
Read the story of my clients Jon and Lois Kesty and the change they are trying to make after losing their beautiful daughter Sumner, to an overdose. Is Disclosing the Truth About a Loved One's Death Important?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Years ago, when I was first realizing my ability as a medium, I came on to the metaphysical scene totally uniformed. Maybe worse, I had been uninterested my entire life. At no point prior to my own “spiritual wake-up call” had I ever contemplated life after death or communication with deceased persons. I just assumed dead was dead. And I was fine with that.
Once my ability became so intense I could no longer ignore it, I began exploring. Looking back, I can tell you, my first experiences with the world of the paranormal were horrible. I mean, the absolute worst! A friend told me about her psychic that she had a “reading” with by email every few days. Ask a question for $10, get an email answer. She told me everything he said was true. Like, true as in written-in stone-by-God, true. And I was duped, big time.
In the month or two that I was trying to figure this phenomena out, this psychic was promoting a book written by one of his followers. The book was channeled by a so-called medium who claimed to have connected with one of the most famous musicians of all time.
“That’s so cool!” I thought. A celebrity can posthumously write a book! Then I heard about seances where mediums were connecting with Princess Diana. My curiosity was piqued. I loved her! I had missed the chance to meet her in real life, so attending a seminar with her spirit communicating posthumously sounded really intriguing.
A few weeks later, I emerged from the fog this so-called psychic had built around him and began connecting with real mediums. You know, the kind who brought me identifying evidence from my deceased brother which proved he was still connected to me. It was extremely enlightening and educational. Furthermore, it made sense to me.
All these years later, I now have a very good understanding of what creates a connection and makes the communication possible. The easy answer is love and relationships. Sadly, I'm not talking about the kind of love a fan has for a celebrity. I have also had the opportunity to connect with several souls who were “famous” in their own right while alive.
Earlier this week, during a session with a client, something unusual happened.
“I have a man here for you. I don’t think you’ve ever connected before. He’s giving me the name of Joe.”
“Yes,” she said. “That is my fiancee’s uncle and we just spoke of him, so you are correct, I didn’t know him in life, but I do know who he is.”
At the end of the session, my client informed me that “Joe” was a famous actor. She told me his full name, and I was absolutely astonished when I looked him up on the Internet. He had seemed like such an "average Joe" in his communication!
I’ve also done private sessions with music producers and members of famous bands who have connections with deceased celebrities. Here’s the catch: when someone comes to me for a session, I have no idea who they are, or who will be connecting from Spirit. And in all cases, I perceive a friend coming through, give good evidence about them, and at no point do I pick up that…wait for it…they were famous.
Deceased celebrities often had amazing talent, incredible creativity and daring personalities. But, on the inside, no human is different from another in the ways we love, communicate, appreciate and work through the ups and downs of life. Celebrities communicate to their friends and family who loved them, just like the rest of us "average Joes."
A few months ago, I was giving messages to a woman from her father who had passed and he mentioned he was with Frank. “Yes, that’s great," she said. “My father owned a nightclub and he and Frank were good friends.”
I’m talking about Sinatra here.
Woefully, Old Blue Eyes didn’t make a direct connection with me, but it was interesting, nonetheless!
These are just a few examples, but my experiences have been extremely consistent. Dead people “come through” to communicate with the living people they care about. I guess as a disclaimer I could add that sure, anything is possible, but if you have expectations of connecting with a famous celebrity you never knew, you might want to rethink the validity of that.
I hope when we get to Heaven we can still watch our favorite musicians perform, but I am not sure about that. What I am sure of, is that Souls are Souls….famous or not. Afterlife connections are about comfort, relationships, inspiration and love.
We will find out everything when we Break on Through to the Other Side….
In the meantime, I’ll be singing Raspberry Beret and reliving some favorite memories from when MTV was young. RIP, Prince. You turned our world upside down!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Signs of Hope.
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known...
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known. Family traditions are often carried forward in honor of a special person who has passed away. If you stop and think about them for a moment, do you realize in doing that, you are sending a "sign" to a loved one in Spirit that YOU are with THEM?
Have you ever considered that perhaps your loved one is looking for a "sign" from you?
I'm often asked about specific signs from loved ones who have passed, and the answer is the same for everyone. Whatever makes you think of your loved one and causes you to feel something emotionally or physically in that moment, that's your sign. There are so many ways for a loved one in Spirit to share a loving thought with you. Perhaps you'll see their name printed on a magazine in an odd space, find coins, or hear a special song on the radio as you scan through the channels. I've shared my story many times about my own personal sign from my older brother who passed 19 years ago. For many years, I've been finding paper money in the strangest places, and often in odd amounts. I've had five dollar bills being pushed up in my garden with the daffodils on my birthday in May. Once, I stepped onto a pile of cash in an empty parking lot, $168, the exact amount I needed for a doctor visit that week. It took me a LONG TIME to see the connection: my brother's name is Bill. It's almost embarrassing that I didn't get it sooner !
A few weeks ago I received a spectacular message in the form of two blue jays. I had woken up early that morning, full of excitement to film an episode for a new TV show. (It will be airing in a few months!) As I sat down at my desk with coffee, I was immediately drawn to look out the window into the the garden. There, perched on the fence, were two gorgeous blue jays, yapping and squawking to get my attention. Perhaps it's not uncommon in the Upper Midwest, except that I have never once, in 12 years of living here, seen a blue jay in my neighborhood. With my curiosity piqued, I did an internet search to see what special meaning a blue jay holds in animal lore. This is what I found: "Blue jay people are learning to embrace a more exciting, flamboyant and glamorous life while at the same time fitting in wherever they choose to land. Blue jay arrives onto the scene with beauty, color, energy and commanding attention like royalty or stardom walking on the red carpet."
The perfect message for a day of working on TV!
My Blue Jay visit inspired me to paint this for a friend.
The comfort granted through a small sign from a loved one cannot be conveyed in earthly terms. Honestly, I believe it sometimes makes the difference between living a day in peace, and wishing you would have never awakened. We can't know the pain of another, but this time of year we all really need to dig deep and find gentle compassion for the newly-bereaved and for bereaved parents.
The first few years without a beloved parent present during the holiday celebrations can be very difficult. It's a quandary for those who have been blessed with strong, close, parent-child relationships. No one ever takes a happy moment with a loved one for granted but the truth is, there are some mothers who set the room aglow with their holiday cheer. Those moms who fill every heart with tender joy and every belly with her secret recipes. There's always that crazy cousin or uncle who is life of the party and thrills everyone with his wild stories while the laughter lasts all night long. They are missed terribly at the holidays!
It would be just like that crazy cousin to pull a prank as a sign from Spirit, wouldn't it? Perhaps lights flickering? And your mom might send you a sign in the form of a familiar smell while driving in a closed car. Perhaps a friend will randomly email you a quote that happened to be a favorite of your loved one in Spirit. Keep you heart and eyes open to the many ways you can be touched by love.
We have to keep on, in whatever way we can, and look for those unexpected moments of serendipity that prove we never face a day alone.
There is another way you can be graced with hope from a loved one without even realizing it's happening. At some point, we all come up against a bad day, when the grief just hurts and the loneliness is overwhelming. We huddle up somewhere safe and alone, and release the tears. Eventually the tears dry up, the tissues run out and we find ourselves getting back to business. It's in those quiet moments that the love of Spirit is flowing directly into your Soul. The power or prayer or intention is unlimited, and you need to know that your loved one is praying for you, thinking about you and sending you all the love in the universe in those moments of despair. So silent is the exchange that you are unaware, but somehow, someway, you found the strength to pick up and try again. It's a gift of grace.
Above all, be gentle during this season. Be gentle with yourself and everyone you meet. Walk slower, listen more, compromise when you can, forgive, forgive and forgive. Be the gift of love to everyone you encounter.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.