Making Room for Reality
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old…
This week, millions of families all across America will be sitting down to share a meal with people they cherish. At nearly every table there will be turkey, pumpkin pie and a side dish of sadness. Almost every home will be missing something, or rather, someone.
I think of my own brother, on this 23rd Thanksgiving without him. I think of the hundreds of families I have worked with this year. The family who lost their brother to a heart attack, and then had their living brother diagnosed with cancer. I think of the family who lost their precious four-year old daughter to illness. I think of the parents whose son was murdered by his friend. I think of my young friend who had a brain tumor removed on Tuesday. With all these sad occurrences, I don’t know how any of us can even find the appetite to eat. It seems a harsh reality when your happiness has been so challenged.
As the years go by and we grow older, our lives become richer in meaningful experiences that encompass the entirety of our lives: joy and loss.
Some of us at the Thanksgiving table may have suffered terrible losses in the past year. How can we find room for thanks in our hearts? Others of us may be seated alongside someone who’s grieving and not know how to act.
What can we do? We can draw support from each other by looking for hope in those around us.
One of life’s greatest hope-givers is the innocence of young children who can still experience unbridled joy without realizing that what goes up, must come down. One day this summer I was sitting in my dining room working on my computer when I heard the familiar voice of the little girl who lives down the street wafting in through the open windows. “Hi Mollie! Hi Mollie!” she called out. As I looked up, I saw her cruising by my house on her bike. Dear Charlotte yelled hello to me every time she passed my house, whether there was any chance of me hearing her or not. Trust me, when I did hear her, my heart overflowed.
Children hold so much space for connection, and we need to truly appreciate that when life seems bleak. They forgive quickly and ask for love when they need it. Why don’t we? We hold onto past grievances like trophies and quietly wish that someone will notice our loneliness.
As we face the realities of life, including tremendous losses, we need to remember that it is possible to hold space for both joy and sadness. They can share the same table, and in an authentic world, they always would.
Holding space for sadness at the holidays doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But it is a loving choice you can make to show compassion and empathy for those you care about.
When you hold space for reality, you meet people where they are, rather than asking them to change for you.
On holidays when I am sad or grieving, I try always to remember this: What a gift it is to have time in the company of people I care for. This is the thought I try to hold on to. Being around children especially helps me appreciate that gift.
For those of us who haven’t suffered loss, and who have lots to be thankful for this year:
-Let the newly bereaved cry without making them feel like they need to leave the room. They are grateful today, too, and have counted every blessing hundreds of times. But their hearts are crushed.
-You don’t need to fix anything or cheer anyone up. The death of a beloved spouse, or a parent, or a child cannot be fixed. Connection is more valuable than cheerfulness. Meeting people where they are means connecting with them so they don’t feel isolated. Try saying something like, “I know this day is so hard without Michael here.”
-And most important: SAY THE NAME of the person who has passed. SAY THEIR NAME. SAY THEIR NAME! There is nothing that comforts the bereaved more than knowing their loved one is remembered on holidays when every family member should be present.
“I remember when Hannah ate the entire can of whipped cream on her pumpkin pie.”
“Theresa loved hosting Thanksgiving so much, it was her favorite holiday.”
“ I wish Paul was with us today.”
Hold space at the holidays for reality, knowing that a meaningful life encompasses both joy and sorrow. Gratefulness is hard to feel during times of deep grief, but making a choice to acknowledge every small blessing is the place to start healing your heart.
Even an avalanche begins with a single snowflake.
Need a little more hope for making it through the holidays? Here’s a list of holiday blogs from years past:
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2018 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
3 Reasons Why You Aren't Seeing Signs from Deceased Loved Ones
Are you frustrated and feeling alone because you haven't seen a sign from a deceased loved one? You are not alone! Let me explain what's going on.
“I haven't had one sign, visit, or sense of presence, not once since my husband died, and I'm beginning to think that's not normal. I would love for you to discuss this side of survivorship. No one ever wants to discuss it - like it's some ugly secret - but I have to believe others are in the same boat as me.” Kathy Joint –via Facebook
Are you frustrated and feeling alone because you haven't seen a sign from loved one in Spirit? You are not alone!
“I haven't had one sign, visit, or sense of presence, not once since my husband died, and I'm beginning to think that's not normal. I would love for you to discuss this side of survivorship. No one ever wants to discuss it - like it's some ugly secret - but I have to believe others are in the same boat as me.” Kathy Joint –via Facebook
This comment, left on my Facebook page last week, is a perfect example of why my mission in life is to help educate as many people as possible about how Spirit Communication works. Having a session with a medium is wonderful way to receive validations that can become catalysts for healthy change in the grieving process. However, becoming dependent on a medium for receiving signs from the people you love is not healthy. Thankfully, you can learn to interact with these living Souls on your own.
If you’ve been to one of my events, you already know my main schtick: Education is Everything. Followed closely by, “Entertainment is NOT Education!”
If you are in the same boat as Kathy, looking for a sign that just isn’t there, let’s discuss three potential reasons why this is happening.
1. You are looking for something that is unreasonable.
This is the most important point. Many people get inducted into the club of, “I Lost a Loved One,” with no warning. Newly bereaved people have usually had exposure to mediums only through television, and there is nothing about a staged, highly edited and entertaining show that you should regard as an example of what to expect. Without the benefit of a physical body, it is impossible for a Soul to show up and speak words to you that you will hear through your ears. If you are ready to read more about how a departed loved one will communicate with you, check out "Learn to Connect With Loved Ones in Spirit." I wrote this article last year to teach you the three basic steps to recognizing the connection.
2. Your analytical thinking prevents you from being open to new information.
I am, by nature, a skeptic. Yes, you read that right! In nearly every situation, I need to see something to be able to believe it. This is the main reason I choose to use my abilities as an evidential medium, and only as an evidential medium. When I do a reading for a client, the session is full of verifiable details and obscure validations that only the client and the deceased person will know. These validations are what provide the deep healing for most bereaved people. They prove that living Souls see you and know what you are doing.
I did not open to my gift as a medium until I was an adult. In fact, I was deeply skeptical of people who claimed to be psychics or to be able to tap into the paranormal. I probably have always had the ability to communicate with Souls who have passed, but I never realized it—until they started making their presence known in a way I couldn’t ignore! Once I educated myself about how Spirit Communication works, my mind became much more open to recognizing synchronicities and signs. They are all around us.
If you have spent a considerable amount of time investigating the afterlife, reading, attending workshops, and participating in support groups and you are still not receiving anything you feel could be a “sign,” then something is not right—which brings me to my last point.
Related: Learning to Trust The Signs
3. The Time Is Not Right.
This last point is one I hate to bring up, because I see it used as an excuse far too often by “mediums” when they can’t make a connection to loved ones in Spirit. There is, however, some truth to it. In the dimension of Spirit, where our loved ones are encompassed by eternity, time is simply not the same as on Earth. When we are feeling desperate for spiritual comfort and it evades us, there may be, unfortunately, a reason. In my experience, there is never a point at which those whom we love in Spirit abandon us. But they will sometimes become a bit quieter in order to help us grow. I think of it like offering an ever-present “bail-out plan” to my college-age children. If I am around to solve every issue, how will they ever become independent adults? There are points in our life where our desperation serves as a great motivation for us to change, learn and reach the next level in our healing.
Related: Right Place, Right Time and It's About Time
If you are tired of being in the boat that is simply drifting, here are a few ways you can grab the oars and direct your ship to calmer waters. (In other words, here are some resources!)
Important Blog Articles to Get You Started For Free!
Recognizing The Connection
Validating the Connection
Receiving The Communication
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
©Mollie Morning Star 2016 | All Rights Reserved | Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
What Happens When a Celebrity Dies?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Update June 4, 2016: The autopsy results are in: Prince died from an accidental over dose of Fentanyl. Why is this important? Because opiate addictions are killing people at an unprecedented rate. New England is suffering the worst with a 40% increase in treatment for opiate overdose in Vermont in just ONE year. This is a must read article and video: Heroin in New England, More Abundant and Deadly
Related Article: Prince died from accidental overdose of fentanyl
Read the story of my clients Jon and Lois Kesty and the change they are trying to make after losing their beautiful daughter Sumner, to an overdose. Is Disclosing the Truth About a Loved One's Death Important?
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Years ago, when I was first realizing my ability as a medium, I came on to the metaphysical scene totally uniformed. Maybe worse, I had been uninterested my entire life. At no point prior to my own “spiritual wake-up call” had I ever contemplated life after death or communication with deceased persons. I just assumed dead was dead. And I was fine with that.
Once my ability became so intense I could no longer ignore it, I began exploring. Looking back, I can tell you, my first experiences with the world of the paranormal were horrible. I mean, the absolute worst! A friend told me about her psychic that she had a “reading” with by email every few days. Ask a question for $10, get an email answer. She told me everything he said was true. Like, true as in written-in stone-by-God, true. And I was duped, big time.
In the month or two that I was trying to figure this phenomena out, this psychic was promoting a book written by one of his followers. The book was channeled by a so-called medium who claimed to have connected with one of the most famous musicians of all time.
“That’s so cool!” I thought. A celebrity can posthumously write a book! Then I heard about seances where mediums were connecting with Princess Diana. My curiosity was piqued. I loved her! I had missed the chance to meet her in real life, so attending a seminar with her spirit communicating posthumously sounded really intriguing.
A few weeks later, I emerged from the fog this so-called psychic had built around him and began connecting with real mediums. You know, the kind who brought me identifying evidence from my deceased brother which proved he was still connected to me. It was extremely enlightening and educational. Furthermore, it made sense to me.
All these years later, I now have a very good understanding of what creates a connection and makes the communication possible. The easy answer is love and relationships. Sadly, I'm not talking about the kind of love a fan has for a celebrity. I have also had the opportunity to connect with several souls who were “famous” in their own right while alive.
Earlier this week, during a session with a client, something unusual happened.
“I have a man here for you. I don’t think you’ve ever connected before. He’s giving me the name of Joe.”
“Yes,” she said. “That is my fiancee’s uncle and we just spoke of him, so you are correct, I didn’t know him in life, but I do know who he is.”
At the end of the session, my client informed me that “Joe” was a famous actor. She told me his full name, and I was absolutely astonished when I looked him up on the Internet. He had seemed like such an "average Joe" in his communication!
I’ve also done private sessions with music producers and members of famous bands who have connections with deceased celebrities. Here’s the catch: when someone comes to me for a session, I have no idea who they are, or who will be connecting from Spirit. And in all cases, I perceive a friend coming through, give good evidence about them, and at no point do I pick up that…wait for it…they were famous.
Deceased celebrities often had amazing talent, incredible creativity and daring personalities. But, on the inside, no human is different from another in the ways we love, communicate, appreciate and work through the ups and downs of life. Celebrities communicate to their friends and family who loved them, just like the rest of us "average Joes."
A few months ago, I was giving messages to a woman from her father who had passed and he mentioned he was with Frank. “Yes, that’s great," she said. “My father owned a nightclub and he and Frank were good friends.”
I’m talking about Sinatra here.
Woefully, Old Blue Eyes didn’t make a direct connection with me, but it was interesting, nonetheless!
These are just a few examples, but my experiences have been extremely consistent. Dead people “come through” to communicate with the living people they care about. I guess as a disclaimer I could add that sure, anything is possible, but if you have expectations of connecting with a famous celebrity you never knew, you might want to rethink the validity of that.
I hope when we get to Heaven we can still watch our favorite musicians perform, but I am not sure about that. What I am sure of, is that Souls are Souls….famous or not. Afterlife connections are about comfort, relationships, inspiration and love.
We will find out everything when we Break on Through to the Other Side….
In the meantime, I’ll be singing Raspberry Beret and reliving some favorite memories from when MTV was young. RIP, Prince. You turned our world upside down!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.