An RSVP from Spirit.
Many of you can relate to the difficultly of celebrating a major life event without someone you dearly love present in the physical body. This past weekend I had the wonderful fortune of attending my brother's wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. Trevor and his fiancée, Guneeta, have been together nearly 11 years. They have seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, including the recent loss of Guneeta's dear father.
This past weekend I had the wonderful fortune of attending my brother's wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. Trevor and his fiancée, Guneeta, have been together nearly 11 years. They have seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, including the recent loss of Guneeta's dear father. Many of you can relate to the difficultly of celebrating a major life event without someone you dearly love present in the physical body.
Her family is Indian, from Punjab, and it was a mostly traditional Sikh wedding. I've never experienced anything like it, and it was so incredibly fun and colorful, it blew my mind! As soon as we landed on Friday morning, we received a text telling us to get to the house right away because wedding festivities were already underway. We were immediately immersed in a ceremony in the living room, with about 40 family members. They laid out a yellow cloth for the bride to sit upon, and she entered the room in a brilliant yellow dress, fully adorned with embroidery and beading. It was magnificent. Her cousins held a red cloth over her head, symbolizing good luck. Because her father has passed away, the bride's Uncle stood in for her Dad in the ceremony, and placed bangles on her arms, meant to stay in place for the entire first year of marriage. It was an emotional moment for everyone in the family, who lovingly wiped away tears.
I wish I could say something incredible happened to show the father of the bride was with us spiritually; you know, like his picture went flying off the wall or something even more outrageous. But like most life events, we had to rely upon feeling his love and presence.
In loving memory of Wg. Cdr. J.S. Ahluwalia.
The ceremony itself was held the next morning at a gurdwara, the place of worship for Sikhs. I was in awe of the colors, drumming, chanting and immense love that her huge family poured out to ours. With a pink sash, Trevor led Guneeta around the altar four times; it was so heartwarming to see my brother participating in this sacred ceremony.
Enjoy this 3 minute video of the events and ceremony.
The fun was only beginning, and the reception was the most fun I've ever had! Amazing music, dances by her cousins and aunts, drumming, fragrant food and even more breathtaking dresses than we had worn in the morning! They guests were seriously the most beautiful bunch of people I have ever seen. Trevor did some belly dancing with the cousins and I laughed so hard tears rolled down my face. He's not a dancer...I mean, there is no rhythm there. Guneeta did a special song and dance for him, which again, was just really amazing. It made me want to sign up for more belly dancing classes.
At the reception and ready to dance the night away!
Later, Guneeta and I had a chance to talk about her Dad, and I asked if she had felt his presence during the week, or if she had recognized any signs from him lately. She said she had really felt him with her while they were taking pictures by the river. Apparently, out of nowhere, a misty fog had hovered over the water. In that moment thoughts of her Dad flooded over her, and she felt as if he were there with her.
She also shared that she recently ran the Tough Mudder in his honor. She was talking to him in the car on the way to the race, asking for his support. When she opened the door to exit, her eyes landed on a little rock on the ground. She bent over, picked it up, and saw it was in a perfect heart shape. Again, she said she was comforted by feeling his presence and love in that moment.
Most of us will have to face a milestone without someone we love. It's helpful to remember, though they can't submit an RSVP, they plan to attend in their own way. A person who has transitioned to the Spirit world is able to influence our thoughts most easily, making their presence known by a sudden flooding of thoughts of them, and by those sweet mental whispers of, "I love you, I am here."
When you face one of those celebrations without the presence of someone important to you, remember to try and feel their love. They wouldn't miss it for the world!
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Recognizing the Connection.
One of the questions I am often asked is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help.
One of the questions I am often asked is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help. A few years ago popular TV shows led everyone to believe a medium could literally SEE and HEAR the dead. You know, like we'd have a straight up conversation with a ghost. (And that the dead could be stuck in spiritual limbo and need to be rescued, I might add.) Now everyone thinks a medium will jump unsuspecting grocery store shoppers and make them cry. Again, not very realistic. It makes for an entertaining show, but it's far from the reality of spiritual connection.
The easiest way to make a connection with a loved one is by letting it happen naturally. When a Soul doesn't occupy a physical body, they use the energy of thought to communicate. The very first clue you will get when a loved one is connecting with you is a sudden flood of thoughts about them. This most often happens when you least expect it and your mind is busy with another task. It's like being at work on a random Tuesday, with a calculator out, balancing the budget. Then, BOOM! Out of nowhere, you start thinking of your loved one who passed away.
We've all had the experience of randomly thinking of someone right before they call us, and answering the phone with, "Hey! I was just thinking about you! Weird!" That's how this Spirit communication thing works, too!
Our tendency is to dismiss the thought, and return to the task at hand. Yet when we do that, we are likely missing the opportunity to connect more fully with our loved ones. If it seems impossible that it could be that simple, keep in mind, there really are very few Big Bang-type signs from a loved one who has passed. But connection and communication can happen daily if you are willing to accept that most of the communication comes in softly, with no drama; floating on the energy of a thought.
Last week I was out for a bike ride while speaking to my stepmom, Sharon, through a hands-free telephone device. There I was in the hot sun, panting, sweating and trying to ride uphill. We had been talking about cake, when suddenly, I started thinking about her deceased mother.
I paused our cake conversation and asked, "Sharon, how is your mom doing? Have you heard from her lately?"
One of the funny things about being a close friend or family member of mine is we all ask each other if we've "heard from" the dead in the same way we'd ask how any living family member is doing.
"Well, I think she's doing pretty well. I have been thinking a lot about her lately though."
"Ahh, well I think she wants to pass a message on to you, is that all right with you? She keeps saying Shirley to me, do you know a Shirley?"
"Oh, yes, Shirley is a friend of mine. She's in the hospital and having a really hard time. I visited her yesterday."
Because I was able to recognize the interruptive thought about Sharon's mother as the first sign of connection, I was able to tune in and pass along the message about Shirley.
You, too, have the ability to connect with your loved ones in a meaningful way--no hands-free device required--and chances are, they are eager to pass along messages to you. There's no need to wait for someone with a camera crew to accost you in the veggie aisle of the grocery store; it's far more subtle than that! Simply pay attention to your thoughts. If you start thinking of a loved one out of the blue, don't dismiss it out of hand. Instead, try saying "Hello!" to them. Then listen, open yourself to the messages that follow. Who knows? Perhaps the connection you've hungered for most has been on hold, just waiting for you to pick up.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
A Pledge to Yourself.
When we are restructuring our lives after a serious loss, we often find ourselves sitting alone wondering what to do next. Emotional pain coupled with free time often makes basic life choices difficult Should I go take a nap? Or have something to eat? Should I return a phone call? The simplest functions become mind-boggling choices. But there is a way out of the fog. It begins with a promise.
When we are restructuring our lives after a serious loss, we often find ourselves sitting alone wondering what to do next. Emotional pain coupled with free time often makes basic life choices difficult.
Should I go take a nap? Or have something to eat? Should I return a phone call?
The simplest functions become mind-boggling choices. But there is a way out of the fog. It begins with a promise.
I, (insert your name here) am committed to creating a new life for myself.
At some point in your grief (and it doesn't matter if you are mourning a deceased loved one, career, opportunity or relationship) you must make the choice to be active in your own rebirth.
You are allowed to make this choice in your own due time. But after counseling thousands of bereaved persons over the years, I can whisper a hint to you: The sooner you choose, the better.
I'm going to suggest six areas of your life to assess, sort of like a "Create a New Life" worksheet. These are questions to ask yourself as a starting point for deciding what you want to create.
I'd love for you to do this exercise twice. Imagine that you are two separate beings. One of you is all the emotion and feeling. I'm sure you are well acquainted with this part of you; it usually swallows you whole during loss. I also want you to imagine a second you, a version that is simply observing your life. The observer is not labeling or judging what it sees, it is only going to report to you what it observes. The observer may help you see where you are avoiding reality.
Health: Am I making my health a top priority? Is my body strong and flexible? Do I need to schedule a health check up? Do the foods I choose support my well being?
Emotions: Am I free to express myself honestly? Do I honor my grief or do I try to hide it? Am I avoiding reality with diversions such as the internet, alcohol or unnecessary drugs?
Spirituality/Faith: Do I believe in a higher power? Have I explored other points of view? Have I cultivated compassion for others experiencing grief or suffering?
Relationships: Have I backed away from friends and isolated myself? Do I fear making new connections because they may result in further loss? Do I have friends that allow me to fully express my grief and offer me patience?
Intelligence: Am I reading uplifting books? Have I taken any classes to learn more about a hobby or interest? Have I traveled to experience the world rather than simply taking a vacation?
Fun: Have I retained my sense of humor during the loss? Do I feel guilty when I laugh and have fun?
Write down a few things in each area you'd like to try. Perhaps you'll promise yourself to walk 30 minutes, 3 times a week. Maybe you'll devote yourself to a painting class. Maybe you'll call a friend or two and pledge to have lunch with them.
Committing yourself to recreating your life is a sacred vow, the holiest of promises to honor the gifts you've been given and have yet to receive. It is a continual choice, and sometimes a hard one, to wake up each and every day and make a conscious decision to move toward healing.
Not choosing is also a choice. You can let the wind blow you wherever it may. You'll discover that it often sets you right back to the same place and presents you with another opportunity to choose. We really cannot escape the lessons life wishes to teach us. They will simply show up through a different person or circumstance until we choose to participate in the lesson.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
"But Wait! There's More!"
The human condition fascinates me, and nowhere can you get a more interesting perspective on it than from someone who has "lived to tell about it." Naturally, I am talking about the so-called dead. Last week in my readings, many messages seemed to be about working through the things we do "wrong."
"I err, therefore I am." -Augustine of Hippo
The human condition fascinates me, and nowhere can you get a more interesting perspective on it than from someone who has "lived to tell about it." Naturally, I am talking about the so-called dead. Last week in my readings, many messages seemed to be about working through the things we do "wrong." There was a couple who married, divorced, then remarried. A Dad whose addictions spiraled out of control for years until they caused the end of his life. Someone who yelled at her children too much. Another situation where a couple broke up four times in 16 years until they figured it out. A man who lost hope and forced his young family to create a new reality without him after his suicide. Then there were all the things that simply went wrong for people....through no fault of their own: cancer, heart attacks, encephalitis, accidents. You name it, it all happened to people in their 30s and 40s.
One thing I've learned is that almost nothing ever turns out as we plan. Life is a constant pattern of setting expectations and then...something else happens. It's like falling asleep on the sofa and waking up to a terrifying, too loud, late-night infomercial on the TV: "BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" Truth is, how we respond these situations shapes our present moment. Sometimes in our shock we just react, which can create even bigger challenges for us to deal with down the road.
I always offer myself as the example, and I have proudly amassed thousands of situations that didn't turn out as I planned.
Presently, I'm sitting in my dining room gazing at a nearly finished painting on my easel, as I type away. I hear the clanging of a basketball hitting the backboard at the schoolyard nearby and the birds singing in the garden. All of the windows are open, letting in a cool, Wisconsin breeze. My house is quiet. And clean. There's an empty bowl that was filled with fresh-from-the-garden raspberries laced with cognac. It's definitely peaceful here. I would be hard-pressed to find something to complain about. All is well.
Yet, I can promise you, this reality looks absolutely nothing like the one I had planned for myself many years ago.
When I was 19, I left life as I knew it behind and moved to Boone, North Carolina. I was accepted at Appalachian State University, and I had an apartment, a job and a car. I was well on my way to what I believed would be an ideal life as a successful interior designer: happily married (I imagined) to a man who looked like he'd stepped right out of a LensCrafters® ad, with our five perfect children gazing up at us adoringly. But something unexpected happened; I discovered I was pregnant.
I wish I could forget the conversation I had when I called the man I was dating to tell him the news. It was a "BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" moment.
"I don't love you, I never did. I don't even like you. I'll have nothing to do with this." he said.
I packed up and put away my dreams of a degree. I was young enough to still have hope for the ideal husband and the five perfect kids. There was no one to bail me out. No job. No home, no plan. I was in a very bad position. As fate would have it, I made friends with a large family who "adopted" me. They promptly moved their two youngest girls into the sunroom, and gave me a safe place to live for a year. They were right there, supporting me when my son came into this life on a beautiful summer morning, 21 years ago. Not bound by blood, but by love, we are family to each other to this day. That year was one of the best for the lessons I learned about working together in harmony. We were sleeping on top of each other and struggling to make the food stretch. We all laughed, played and engaged in joyful ways I had never experienced in my own family as a young girl. I'll never forget the first time my son laughed; we were canning peaches in a roaringly-hot kitchen that August. It was a perfect moment. Somewhere, I have a picture of it. My baby boy and I were surrounded by love. When he was a few months old, we moved out and I started my first business.
So, back to my present moment. All is well, and it is nothing like that original idea I had for myself. But I did shape this reality with all of the choices I've made along the way. I neither got the degree nor met the LensCrafters® guy. In 21 years, I've had six combined years of "educational" marriages and spent 15 years raising my two beautiful children alone. It has not been easy. I have had to be super, duper flexible and resilient. I have had to be humble, accept help and do hard labor. (I worked on ladders and scaffolding for 16 years!) My life turned upside down again when I suddenly became psychic, ushering in a whole new era for me. Was all the chaos worth it? A million times over, yes! It wasn't anything like I'd planned, but it's been an incredibly meaningful and amazing journey. It's our nature to imagine a life path for ourselves that is comfortable and idyllic. No one would ever schedule the loss of child, end of a marriage or a terminal illness if they were given the option. The messages given in readings always point me back to an eternal truth: life is really about the experience and journey. Being "successful" at it has very little to do with it all turning out to look like a glossy, airbrushed, family photo of shining, happy people. The human condition makes us terribly interesting...gloriously flawed...wildly imperfect...and incredibly successful at creating valuable experiences from which our Souls can grow.
Now that my children are grown and living on their own, I'm starting again. No matter where you think you may have erred, or even been given a terrible burden to bear, you can always recreate your life in a positive, fulfilling way. As my stepmother taught me, once you remove the judgment and labeling, everything is simply an experience. Whenever I call her crying she says, "Oh, that's wonderful Mollie! Think of the growth." (I've learned to call my bff when I want sympathy.)
Remember to be flexible with your expectations of life because soon enough, the announcer will be saying, "BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!"
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Where Fate Ends and Creation Begins.
The hot topic: Where Does Fate End and Creation Begin?
As I see it, there are situations in life, horrible occurrences like the death of a child, that I will never be able to comprehend. At times, I have to surrender to the knowledge that some things are fated to happen. There is a higher divine order that I do not fully understand. At the same time, I believe fervently that we are the creators of our lives. We are the artists who apply color and form to the canvas; the authors who write the lines; the directors who choose the actors.
I'm just back from exciting week of events along the west coast of Lake Michigan which ended in Chicago on Friday. The weather was just gorgeous, so I decided to spend a few hours at the Chicago Botanic Garden photographing flowers to use for my Facebook inspirations. I make it a point to seek out Botanic Gardens anywhere I travel and this is one of the best I have had the pleasure of visiting. The rose garden is superb; the air so thick with heady perfume you can almost see it floating by in wafts of brilliant color. Yes, it's THAT amazing. Practically psychedelic.
After a long week of travel and readings I was thankful to find a quiet, shady space, tucked away in one of the formal gardens. It gave me a moment to sit, savor my surroundings and meditate before that evening's event. The place was perfect, but in spite of the peace that surrounded me, I couldn't empty my mind in that moment. I kept thinking about conversations I'd had over the past few weeks with other intuitives.
The hot topic: Where Does Fate End and Creation Begin?
As I see it, there are situations in life, horrible occurrences like the death of a child, that I will never be able to comprehend. At times, I have to surrender to the knowledge that some things are fated to happen. There is a higher divine order that I do not fully understand. At the same time, I believe fervently that we are the creators of our lives. We are the artists who apply color and form to the canvas; the authors who write the lines; the directors who choose the actors.
The Circle Garden at Chicago Botanic Garden. July 2014
I looked around me and saw nothing but order and symmetry; a picture of complete balance. I noticed the perfect positioning of an ivy arch which formed a striking frame around the water fountain in the adjoining garden. Each space lead logically to the next. The flowers themselves were layered and arranged for size and color play. The juxtaposition of bright, purple cosmos and a vibrant yellow lily allowed each to give the other added luminosity. Everything seemed to have been planted next to its neighbor with extreme thought and care.
"It's a completely magnificent example of what we are capable of creating," I thought.
Nature in its raw form is incredible, too. I can still visualize the snow-capped mountains and green lakes I saw in Boulder, Colorado this April. In my mind's eye I can see the wild grape vines, fields of phlox, and dank woods I speed by on the bike trail near my home in Wisconsin. And my favorite: the glowing blue water of the Caribbean...yes, the Universe does glorious work with its natural habitats.
Yet, there is just something about a formal garden that tells me to stop resting on my ideas and make things happen.
As we all know, it's hard work creating a balanced, gorgeous garden of a life. You have to first clear the land of old debris--and those bulldozer lessons are painful! Then you have to construct a plan, which begs the question: what is possible for this space, for this life of fertile soil? And, how limiting is our thinking? Onto sourcing, planting and above all else nurturing our creation. We have to accept the seasons, and find the beauty in a snow-covered garden, in the dead of winter, where nothing seems to be happening.
We are the gardeners. We plant what we eventually harvest. Every thought you think contributes to your reality. You have to perform hard labor, nurture relationships and be constantly willing to change. You have to be clear about what you want and vulnerable enough to voice it. Yet we are not alone in our quest for a beautiful life. The unseen world around us is here to help, and the message they are sending is, "Be a powerful creator!"
Don't hand over control of your life, dreams and hopes to anyone, including "fate." You have the power to grow the life you dream of having.
Get inspired. Immerse yourself in some heavenly creations, cultivated by humankind. Take the lesson from a garden, and cultivate a life of deep meaning for yourself. No one else can plant what you want in the deepest parts of your soul--no one else can even imagine it. Beauty longs to grow up around you, to enfold you with perfumed petals and giant blooms. But first, you must till the soil.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
It Can Happen to You.
I admit: my job has taken a toll on my level of tolerance for going to bed angry; screaming about the messes that have been made; delaying apologies, even if I wasn't wrong. These days I'm owning my stuff, all of it, every situation I created. I can't let you leave without saying, "I love you." anymore. Yes, I want one more hug, maybe two. Yes, I cry when you turn the corner and are out of sight. I can no longer tolerate stuffing my feelings. No, I can't sit back and be an observer anymore. All of these are occupational hazards. Every single day, I consult with person after person who is trying to cope with the worst day of his or her life.
I admit: my job has taken a toll on my level of tolerance for going to bed angry; screaming about the messes that have been made; delaying apologies, even if I wasn't wrong. These days I'm owning my stuff, all of it, every situation I created. I can't let you leave without saying, "I love you." anymore. Yes, I want one more hug, maybe two. Yes, I cry when you turn the corner and are out of sight. I can no longer tolerate stuffing my feelings. No, I can't sit back and be an observer anymore. All of these are occupational hazards. Every single day, I consult with person after person who is trying to cope with the worst day of his or her life. I always think I've heard it all when it comes to tragic ways to die, and as it turns out, I haven't. The stories just keep coming.
These are the side effects of realizing truly, deeply and even sadly, that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Tragedy isn't confined to a social class, a country, good people or bad people. There is no way to delineate who is next. Cancer doesn't love a certain skin color. Accidents don't care if you just had a world class fight with your spouse. Heart attacks really don't mind that you were going to retire next month. Aneurysms happen to healthy 8-year-olds. And 16-year-olds. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
The real tragedy in all of this is not so much that the people I work with don't see this, because they are LIVING it, but the average guy on the street thinks, "Oh, that poor family." He doesn't really get that he might be the next man on his knees banging his head on the floor trying to feel reality because his mind just can't process what he just heard over the phone. Yes, that's actually what happens when you get the call that your child was found dead. You pound your head on hard surfaces to see if a reality still exists.
I know this may not be an uplifting read for you, but it is something that gnaws away at me daily. I am impassioned about living today fully, and this is why. On a recent road trip with a girlfriend, I finally let all of this out to her and confessed I wish I could write about it. "Do it! You need to," she said.
Ladies and Gentleman, life owes you nothing. Somehow your Soul managed to get inside of a body to have this experience on Earth and however many days, years or decades you get to wear it is a gift. Does this not stir within you a deep, abiding desire to live fully today? It really should. No matter what you've lost up to this point, you are still here, simply by virtue that you are reading this, and still capable of creating love today.
Do you owe it to your loved one who died to live fully today? That sounds noble doesn't it? Honestly, you owe it to yourself. You are still breathing and you still have a chance to do something today.
What you choose to create is completely up to you. Of course there will always be excuses and circumstances which prevent you from doing what you really want. You may always cling to the excuse that what you really want is to return to the past. I like excuses, too. I'd avoid every problem possible if they didn't constantly smack me in the face. Excuses are the walls that separate you from healing and getting on with the business of living.
Let's simplify this just a little: no excuses. No buts. Shed the anger. Lose the regret. Instead, ask yourself one simple, but life-changing question: Where can you create love today?
Interested in having a personal connection to your loved ones in Spirit though Mollie? Click here for information on booking a private session.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.