What is healing?
One of the great conundrums that comes along with loss is defining the word, "heal." It can be either an adjective, describing an experience; a verb, an action taken to remedy pain; or a noun, signifying a gift of healing. As an experienced medium, I can tell you...
One of the great conundrums that comes along with loss is defining the word, "heal." It can be either an adjective, describing an experience; a verb, an action taken to remedy pain; or a noun, signifying a gift of healing. As an experienced medium, I can tell you (with my sense of humor intact) that the bereaved can be a tough crowd to connect with and the words we choose are important. Can we ever really "heal" from loss? This is a particularly rough road for parents, but many people also feel this way upon the loss of their partner.
I've noticed the newly bereaved will sometimes say, (about a connection to Spirit) "It will help me get over my grief." It's interesting, but I will never use the words "get over" when referring to loss. You don't get over it, you learn to live under a new set of circumstances, that hopefully, honors the person you love. When speaking with someone who is 5-8 years further along, they will say, "It helps me on my journey through grief." After 20 years, those more experienced often speak to me about the ways they've been blessed in life and yet, they still acknowledge how dearly they miss their loved one. My beautiful, elderly, neighbor Katie used to speak to me about her son who passed and it was always like listening to someone who was counting their blessings instead of detailing their loss. She was a marvel of positivity. No one has ever said to me, "I've healed from the loss of my child." I've met amazing, remarkable and truly inspiring people who have taken the lessons delivered by their loss and created positive, love-filled, meaningful lives with them. But, are they "healed?" I'm not sure if I am brazen enough to say that, and I am no stranger to making bold claims!
I doubt anyone would use that word, in that way, because if they think deeply for a moment of the person they love, a twinge of pain caused the physical separation will always manifest. I can conjure up that twinge right now, if I think about my children, and they are only a few hours drive away at college, alive and well.
So, as we set about reconfiguring our lives after loss, perhaps it's best to know from the beginning that you are embarking on a brand-new journey that will finish with a beautiful reunion and complete healing in Spirit, at some point. What you choose to do between now and that reunion is really up to you. To journey on a healing path is one of amazing discovery, but it comes along with responsibility to actively engage yourself in new behavior when you feel you are at your lowest point. You will need to be your own best friend, and be ruthless in letting go of old relationships that don't support your new life. You will only be as happy as the company you keep, so you must align yourself with support from people who understand your loss that are beacons of light and hope. When you gain strength, you will be responsible to reflect the light you received to those newly on the path.
Healing is mostly a process, an ongoing journey of discovering yourself as a unique drop of energy in the vast ocean of interconnectedness. Truly, your pain is mine, and my joy is yours. Love can never be separate; we are all part of each other.
No matter where you are on the path, if you can feel anything, your heart is still working.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Learning to trust the signs.
The very best communication a person can have with a loved one in Spirit is the one that happens on it's own, without the help of a medium. I simply validate the connected presence of a loved one, but I don't make it happen. Because a Soul who is no longer present in a body can't simply show up and talk to you, we have to...
The very best communication a person can have with a loved one in Spirit is the one that happens on it's own, without the help of a medium. I simply validate the connected presence of a loved one, but I don't make it happen. Because a Soul who is no longer present in a body can't simply show up and talk to you, we have to learn how to trust the synchronicity and coincidences that display their love for us.
My ability to communicate with Spirit works at it's best when I am completely objective of the connection. This is why I insist on anonymity prior to a session. If I know your story, it's hard for me to know what information is already in my consciousness and what information I am mentally receiving from your loved one. Because of this, when I want to connect with my own loved ones, I'm in the same boat you are. I have to rely on the signs I receive to get my "hello" from Heaven. Last year, I realized how I was missing one of the clearest signs I regularly receive.
I went to a lecture in Chicago to see the medium, John Holland. During the presentation, he spoke about how many people receive coins as signs from loved ones passed. In my mind I laughed and thought, "Ah! Too bad for them, I always find bills!" It's true, last Spring I found a $5 bill nestled into the first green tips of the daffodils in my garden coming up. I have stepped out of my car in an empty parking lot on to a pile of a few hundred dollars. It's like paper money FINDS ME, it's been happening for years. After the event, I walked out with my friends and as I stepped onto the street, I said, "Hey, is that money?" I bent over and obscured by the snow and salt was a five dollar bill. I picked it up and told my friends that during the lecture I was silently laughing since I always seem to find paper money. I held in my hand the proof.
Once we were in the car, we began talking about the readings that day, and like everyone else in the room, I had asked my special loved one in Heaven to say hello if he could. It suddenly dawned on me....and I CAN NOT believe I missed this all these years....my brother in Heaven is named BILL. I can't believe I missed that one! I took that bill around to my group readings for quite a while, until I met a woman in Minneapolis who also had a brother in Spirit named Bill, I gave it to her as a reminder of his ongoing connection. I trust I'll find another one when the time is right.
Bill is the blonde on the right, and I am the cutie second to the left. Bill passed away at age 30, almost 19 years ago.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The final moments of physical life.
Without a doubt, one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face is coping as someone we love experiences their final moments here on the physical Earth. When a Soul is communicating during a reading, they never seem too concerned about how they passed. They will often acknowledge it, as a means to correctly validate their identity, but they don't emotionally cling to the experience. This includes those who pass in horrific...
Without a doubt, one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face is coping as someone we love experiences their final moments here on the physical Earth. When a Soul is communicating during a reading, they never seem too concerned about how they passed. They will often acknowledge it, as a means to correctly validate their identity, but they don't emotionally cling to the experience. This includes those who pass in horrific, tragic circumstances. To give a bit of perspective on it, I always ask people, "Do you remember the moment of your physical birth? Surely, it must have hurt! Do you replay that painful moment over and over in your head throughout your life?" The answer is always, "No." It was simply a way for the Soul to get a "vehicle" to carry it through an Earthly journey. Likewise, when someone has passed into eternal life, they do not ruminate over the circumstance that was the mode of transit for the Soul to renter the Spirit plane. Helen Keller was quoted as saying, "Death is no more than a passing from one room to another." I agree with this.
At the group event in Pennsylvania this past weekend, a woman named Linda received a message from her father, concerning her mother, who was in hospice care. He urgently communicated, "You need to take care of yourself. Get something to eat. Take a shower. It's okay if your mom passes when you walk out to go to the bathroom. You've done a wonderful job. Your best is good enough. We are here and all ready to receive her. You're not doing this alone." Linda had been brought to the reading by a friend, who picked her up at the hospice center. She hadn't eaten in 24 hours. Or bathed. Or slept. This had been going on for weeks as her mother was nearing the end. Linda was so incredibly stunned and grateful to receive that validation from her father. The next day I received a thank you note from Linda's friend for the great comfort and peace she was able to receive from her message. Linda herself posted on my Facebook Page: "I wanted to say thank you so much for connecting me with my family yesterday. The past few days have been so incredibly difficult and hearing from my dad that I had done a great job and that he had a plan to take care of my Mom allowed my mind to be more at ease. My mom passed peacefully overnight with us at her side."
Time and time again those in Spirit have let me know that moments before a tragic passing occurred, their Soul was lifted free of the physical body and they experienced no pain. Many Souls have communicated that they were greeted by family and pets at the time of their transition, despite the fact they passed alone in their homes. Repeatedly I hear stories of people talking to deceased loved ones in their final days of life. They see and hear them as if they are present...and they are.
Take some comfort. Spirit always validates their well being so we can lay our worst nightmares to rest. The last moments here are the beginning of a life more beautiful than we can conceive, but will experience in due time.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Spirit World is in cahoots!
At the group event in Sheboygan, Wis. last weekend, two incredible connections left me in awe of how much the Spirit world conspires in our favor. Back in the day, farmers would host a "barn raising" where a community of people would join efforts to get a large project done. The Spirit world operates in much the same way. I am often asked, "Are people together in Spirit?" The answer is not just yes, but YES! YES! And YES!
At the group event in Sheboygan, Wis. last weekend, two incredible connections left me in awe of how much the Spirit world conspires in our favor. Back in the day, farmers would host a "barn raising" where a community of people would join efforts to get a large project done. The Spirit world operates in much the same way. I am often asked, "Are people together in Spirit?" The answer is not just yes, but YES! YES! And YES!
Those of you who have attended a group event know I allow Spirit to come forward at will. As I was connecting with the Spirit contact last weekend, I clairvoyantly saw my dearly-missed neighbors, Katie and Frank, standing with the Spirit contact. I mentioned to the audience that the person communicating also knew my neighbors. Amazingly, one of their friends was in the audience and had recently, and very tragically, lost a daughter. Now, let me tell you a little about my neighbor Katie. I have never in my life met a kinder Soul. She's right up there with Mother Teresa. If she knew a member of our community had lost a child, she would absolutely pay her respects. She herself was a bereaved mother in life and understood the deep loss. So, are our loved ones with family members and friends? Yes. They exist in a community, like we do. Katie was there to offer her support and give energy to this connection.
Even more amazing, this family in attendance, who hailed from my small town, had heard about me from a client in Seattle, named Darci. When I met with Darci, an old friend of hers in Spirit asked her to pass along a message to his sister, about a jacket and a fire.
Darci hadn't had contact with his sister in years, but she managed to track her down. When Darci passed on the message, the sister confirmed that after her brother's passing, the family home burnt to the ground in a horrific fire. A fireman ran in and was able to retrieve only one object from the home; the deceased brother's track jacket!
That night, I also had a black dog in Spirit come through, and that dog brought his owner in. (Man's best friend, indeed!) The dog belonged to a young man who validated his family in the audience. He then communicated to me that he was also with another young man for the family sitting next to his. (These families did not know each other.) Then yet another young man for the family sitting next to THEM joined the other two. The grand finale was seeing MY OWN brother who passed at age 30, standing behind these three young men. My brother communicated to me, "I'm always here to help you, sis!" All four of the young men had a sister present.
It takes a village. Every day we meet new people, who I believe are sent directly to us by our loved ones to help us with specific life challenges. Perhaps they sympathize with a struggle we face, or have an important lesson for us. In the best cases, they come bearing gifts of wine and chocolate. :-) In Spirit, our loved ones are also making friends and working together to get the messages across the wire. They unite and combine the energy to make it more powerful. Sometimes we wonder why we can't see what our loved ones are doing to help us heal. Let this be an answer.
These are not coincidences; just a lot of work going on behind the scenes in the Spirit world.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Anger: The Companion to Loss
Years ago, a woman who had scheduled a private session kept telling me how mad she was at her deceased husband. I assumed the worst: he must have died in his lover's arms at casino hotel where he had squandered the entire family fortune just moments before his demise.
I was so nervous by the time of her appointment, all I could do was pray he'd offer some apology to her to try and make it right. As it turned out...
Loss creates anger; that's normal. Not dealing with it is harmful. It will rob you of peace until you do the hard work to resolve it. We have been conditioned to believe feeling angry is WRONG, which then leads to guilt issues.
Years ago, a woman who had scheduled a private session kept telling me how mad she was at her deceased husband. I assumed the worst: he must have died in his lover's arms at casino hotel where he had squandered the entire family fortune just moments before his demise.
I was so nervous by the time of her appointment, all I could do was pray he'd offer some apology to her to try and make it right. As it turned out, he had heart attack at home. He was an honest and well-loved man. He simply died. His wife was SO PISSED, so mad at God for taking him away! So furious with her husband for abandoning her! She had been raging for months. I've gone on to meet many more angry widows and bereaved parents. The anger is a normal part of the grieving process.
Is it possible for an Iris to scream?
Even after loss, it is not too late to transform anger into healing. Last week at a group reading in Madison, Wis., I connected a young woman to her father, with whom she'd had a difficult relationship. She announced to everyone, "He was an asshole." Wow! Honesty everyone else is afraid to admit, but totally understands! The father went on to apologize and explain his life, "It was all about me. My focus was on myself and my own issues. My problems had nothing to do with my children. It was my fault. I heard my kids yelling at me." She validated that he was an only child, an addict, and when the siblings cleaned out his house, tempers erupted. Of his children, she was the only one who acknowledged him. She was able to see past his issues and understand and forgive his Soul. She told me after the reading, "Before coming today, I said I would want to hear from anyone but him." She got what she needed, and importantly, so did the man in Spirit.
Why do we hang on to our anger? Because anger gives us the illusion of regaining control. It's a big adrenaline rush. In truth, being angry makes us crash even lower than where we were before, in the depths of our sadness. Yet if you acknowledge and release the anger that results from the losses in your life, it loses its control over you, allowing peaceful days back into your life, as well as deeper understanding. Counseling, exercise, meeting with friends and freak out charts are all productive ways to cope with it. And if you are kind enough to help a bereaved child, like I was, please take care to guide them with love and patience to safer ground.
This too, shall pass.
Meditation to Transform Anger
Sit quietly, with your eyes closed, breathing easy, while visualizing your anger in a box. Send that box loving feelings of deep understanding. See it surrounded by a color representing love, such as pink or white light. See it getting smaller and smaller as you keep infusing it with love and understanding why it was created. See the box get reduced in size to that of a flower seed. Take this seed and plant it in the earth and watch it grow and bloom into something beautiful, fragile and positive. Affirm, "I can transform anger into growth."
When you feel the adrenaline build up, give yourself a time out to do this quick meditation.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The lasting effects of giving compassionate service.
A common trait in people who are thriving after a loss is their practice of compassionate service. When you have traveled down the lonely road of grief, your experience becomes the training you need to serve as a guide for others on that new journey.
A common trait in people who are thriving after a loss is their practice of compassionate service. When you have traveled down the lonely road of grief, your experience becomes the training you need to serve as a guide for others on that new journey.
Here's why compassionate service is important. When we experience a loss of a very close loved one; perhaps an aging parent we were caring for, a child who was our entire existence, or a partner we spent all of our free time with, we are left with a void of time and energy that we used to devote to them. In the past we might have been busy planning and preparing meals, but we are now sitting at a lonely table, looking at a chair only occupied by our grief.
Last week I was able to spend extended time with close friends who have lost a child. I was able to see how they still devote loving, parent energy to their child, even though he is no longer present on the physical earth. By reaching out to others, giving of time and energy to those who are newly on the path and suffering greatly, they are active parents. There is no past tense here, their job as the parents of a beloved child will never be over, regardless of whether that child is living or deceased. This brings back a memory of a private session where a man in Spirit communicated to his sister, that from his place in Heaven, he was helping inspire homeless people to better themselves. She said he always had a soft spot for the homeless and gave them money every chance he could. A perfect way to honor this brother's memory would be to give compassionate service to the homeless on a regular basis.
Everyone needs to be cared for in a way that reflects their unique needs. Here are a few suggestions:
1. First of all, ask the person, "What can I do?"
2. Intuit the situation. What does your gut say this person needs? A meal? A night out? Money? An hour of uninterrupted conversation? Sit quietly with the question of, "How can I serve?" and listen for Spirit to answer you with thoughtful inspiration.
3. Remember that grieving isn't confined to the first few months after a loss. No one ever gets over the loss of child or a beloved spouse. Instead, they find a new way to live. Even if it's been years since the transition, speaking the name of their loved one, and talking about memories is healing to those who never want their loved one to be forgotten. Sending a card or giving a small gift in memory of their loved one is deeply meaningful and appreciated.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Caring continues, even after life.
This week I had a private sitting with two sweet, energetic sisters. They had been to a group session, and felt their mom might have been trying to validate them through a reading given to the people sitting nearby, so they were open to, and eager for, the information. As I connected with their mom, she communicated to me...
This week I had a private sitting with two sweet, energetic sisters. They had been to a group session, and felt their mom might have been trying to validate them through a reading given to the people sitting nearby, so they were open to, and eager for, the information. As I connected with their mom, she communicated to me, through mental telepathy, a picture of the World Trade Center towers in New York crashing down. I received the thought from her, "I felt so bad for all those poor people. I just felt so awful." One of the daughters teared up; she had asked her mom to acknowledge it during the session. Mother and daughter had been on the phone when the towers crashed, and talked for days afterward. She said she missed those long phone calls and the sound of her mother's voice.
Near the end of the session, the mother communicated fascinating information to me that I had no way to confirm, but felt it was important to pass along. "Your mom just let me know that she was here with me this morning praying and lending her support to a young girl who passed recently by suicide. The girl's mother had a session with me, and your mom is letting me know she was sending her love to help make that connection healing for them both." Again, the sisters teared up; they could completely understand why their mother would communicate that. She had worked as a social worker and was deeply caring of anyone in a tough spot. The next day, I shared this with the young girl's mother, and she was "astounded," because her daughter had a deep appreciation for guidance counselors and social workers.
When we occupy our time here on earth working as a compassion-giver, be that in social work, nursing, pastoral care, or anything that uplifts others, this aspect of our personality is retained in the spirit realm...AND WE KEEP ON HELPING. It's always interesting to receive validation of what our loved ones are doing on the other side of life, and I have a good feeling it's not resting on a cloud, plucking a harp. They are connected to you, and are often acting as your angel, sending you their loving guidance, prayers and support.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
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