Managing feelings of incompleteness.
Nearly every bereaved person I have ever met has expressed to me a deep sense of of feeling incomplete after the passing of a cherished love one. The relationship on the physical plane of existence created a sense of wholeness, and when that relationship transitioned into the spiritual plane, suddenly, their identity had been amputated.
Nearly every bereaved person I have ever met has expressed to me a deep sense of of feeling incomplete after the passing of a cherished love one. The relationship on the physical plane of existence created a sense of wholeness, and when that relationship transitioned into the spiritual plane, suddenly, their identity had been amputated. It's similar to losing a leg; the act of balancing seems impossible. You aren't walking anywhere with just one leg.
When an object is complete, it literally means that all of its parts are present, its whole in form. No portion of that object is missing. Can that be true for a Soul having a physical existence? Can parts of us actually go missing?
First, I'm not here to preach that feeling incomplete isn't true. If everyone says it, then there has to be a good reason. I want to start a thought process for you that examines the actions and motives of what causes that sense of completeness to arise while you and your loved one were both living happily (or not so happily) together on the Earth. Let's think for a moment about the time before the loss occurred.
For a parent, possibly the most profound moment of your entire existence is to hold within your hands the life you created as your child. An actual human that you GAVE "being" to. You had the motive to co-create life in a deeply personal way and you took action to care for the needs of your precious creation.
Maybe it's your life partner or Soul-mate who has passed. A relationship unlike any other, where another Soul reflected your entire worth back to you, possibly for the first time ever. This is the person you GAVE all of your trust and love to. The motive is to experience love, the action is constantly working on relating to each other more authentically.
A friend is a person who throughout your life is a sustainer of hope. Through thick and thin, you received support that helped you navigate life's tricky waters. In return, you GAVE time, sweat, tears, laughs and resources to sustain that relationship. The motive was to have support, the action is making yourself available to give it back.
No matter who it is that you've lost, the relationship investment is still there. You GAVE. You GAVE yourself away; willingly, with joy, and with honor. Do you want those gifts back? Of course not! Would you do it all again? Absolutely!
As we willingly GIVE away our love, we are discovering our completeness. If a pair of spectacles loses one of its arms, they would be fragmented and fall off the face they trying to help.
You are not an object. In giving, you actually become whole.
Time and time again those in Spirit wish for me to express on their behalf that all the gifts of love, time and energy that were given to them, WENT WITH THEM to the afterlife. Every deed. (Except for the real estate that was so unfortunately worthless, it had to stay behind on Earth.)
You are always whole. The love you invested in a person who died is still growing and an amazing return is coming.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Starting Over.
Recalibrating life is often a painful process, particularly when the changes are needed due to circumstances we didn't choose. How can we arrange the hours and days that we used to devote to the care of a loved one passed? How can we find a new...
Pinned to a table by strong hands, my chiropractor announced that my neck needed to be adjusted. Every muscle in my body turned to stone in protest and I immediately debated his expertise, "Is that REALLY, TRULY NEEDED?" Despite the excellent care and healing I have received from him for years, when he reaches for my neck, I still panic. I issue a firm warning: if he breaks my neck, there will be hell to pay. He laughs, and says he can deal with my wrath. I'm a terrible patient; I can't stand the pain of staying where I am, but I fear the adjustment it takes to get me back to functioning.
Recalibrating life is often a painful process, particularly when the changes are needed due to circumstances we didn't choose. How can we arrange the hours and days that we used to devote to the care of a loved one passed? How can we find a new lifestyle, when the one we've enjoyed is no longer an option? These are real questions that impose real stress, as we seek to navigate some of life's most complicated paths. As Dr. Torture kindly reminds me, I can choose to stay with my pain; not sleeping, unable to drive or dig in my garden. Or, he can take 45 seconds to adjust my neck if I will allow the process to happen. I always allow it in the end, but it takes me thrice as long to convince myself that the fear is irrational, as the adjustment itself.
There is a special place in the woods I retreat to when I need to rejoin reality after too much spiritual work. Being with nature helps me remember how small I am, and how insignificant even my largest problems are in the complete scope of life cycles. In the summer the path is padded with pine needles and my footsteps are almost imperceptible. I am fully present to the sounds of the birds and the deer cracking sticks as they tip-toe about. The canopy of leaves creates a cool, eerie light. In the winter, it takes more effort to get my feet through the snow but the effect of the sunlight on the glistening white landscape is brilliant beyond what I can aptly describe. I often pause, gazing upwards if the wind blows softly through the trees releasing trapped snow into the air. The flakes catch the sunlight as they fall to the forest floor and the sky appears to be raining diamonds. It's totally worth freezing for. I don't go often in the Spring, but today, I needed to. I went in search of signs of new growth, wondering, "Will Spring ever arrive?" The wind was raw, air damp and the trail was a thick layer of ice. Interestingly, the rest of the ground was mostly thawed. Only where there has been constant treading of feet was the path slippery and difficult to navigate. Nature has already allowed the the unexplored parts to melt. I changed course, and walked there instead.
No matter how many times I visit this familiar place, it is always changing. Longing for signs of Spring, I kept searching for something green, but found nothing. With the experience nearly over, and disappointment creeping in, I realized my expectation of Spring was unreasonable. I demanded evidence of visible green growth, and only then, would I accept the change of season was really here. Instead, I witnessed the space of possibility and potential before the growth happens. Several feet of snow had melted. Some parts of the path were muddy, not icy. There was a small section of a stream that flowed freely instead of being at a stand still. Spring is definitely here, but it's growing beneath the surface and I cannot yet see it's progress blooming.
As I walked, I realized, I will never have the opportunity to be the person I was yesterday, again. Every day, I will have to start over. My entire life exists only within the moment I am experiencing. I allowed my joy to be dependent on my need to see green growth. I nearly missed seeing the progress of seasons because it did not yet meet my definition of what Spring is.
I let my idea go, and became present to truth. Spring is here. I regained my sense of being grounded in reality that I went in seeking, and walked out of the woods a content person.
Practical Applications
Starting over begins with a choice to allow the change to happen. It can be helpful to create an affirmation of acceptance and "be" with that for a time period before you take action. If you are stuck for ideas, a suggestion is:
"I allow changes that support my happiness and well-being."
Next, make an action based effort. Keep it reasonable. If you know you need to relocate, take the small action of organizing a closet each day. Small, consistent efforts yield greater results than the occasional, large effort.
Finally, you will be required to go with the flow. Life will rarely comply with your expectation of it, but that doesn't mean growth isn't happening. Take time out to "get grounded" and be present to whatever objective truth you find outside of yourself. Remember...you shouldn't believe everything you think.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
What is healing?
One of the great conundrums that comes along with loss is defining the word, "heal." It can be either an adjective, describing an experience; a verb, an action taken to remedy pain; or a noun, signifying a gift of healing. As an experienced medium, I can tell you...
One of the great conundrums that comes along with loss is defining the word, "heal." It can be either an adjective, describing an experience; a verb, an action taken to remedy pain; or a noun, signifying a gift of healing. As an experienced medium, I can tell you (with my sense of humor intact) that the bereaved can be a tough crowd to connect with and the words we choose are important. Can we ever really "heal" from loss? This is a particularly rough road for parents, but many people also feel this way upon the loss of their partner.
I've noticed the newly bereaved will sometimes say, (about a connection to Spirit) "It will help me get over my grief." It's interesting, but I will never use the words "get over" when referring to loss. You don't get over it, you learn to live under a new set of circumstances, that hopefully, honors the person you love. When speaking with someone who is 5-8 years further along, they will say, "It helps me on my journey through grief." After 20 years, those more experienced often speak to me about the ways they've been blessed in life and yet, they still acknowledge how dearly they miss their loved one. My beautiful, elderly, neighbor Katie used to speak to me about her son who passed and it was always like listening to someone who was counting their blessings instead of detailing their loss. She was a marvel of positivity. No one has ever said to me, "I've healed from the loss of my child." I've met amazing, remarkable and truly inspiring people who have taken the lessons delivered by their loss and created positive, love-filled, meaningful lives with them. But, are they "healed?" I'm not sure if I am brazen enough to say that, and I am no stranger to making bold claims!
I doubt anyone would use that word, in that way, because if they think deeply for a moment of the person they love, a twinge of pain caused the physical separation will always manifest. I can conjure up that twinge right now, if I think about my children, and they are only a few hours drive away at college, alive and well.
So, as we set about reconfiguring our lives after loss, perhaps it's best to know from the beginning that you are embarking on a brand-new journey that will finish with a beautiful reunion and complete healing in Spirit, at some point. What you choose to do between now and that reunion is really up to you. To journey on a healing path is one of amazing discovery, but it comes along with responsibility to actively engage yourself in new behavior when you feel you are at your lowest point. You will need to be your own best friend, and be ruthless in letting go of old relationships that don't support your new life. You will only be as happy as the company you keep, so you must align yourself with support from people who understand your loss that are beacons of light and hope. When you gain strength, you will be responsible to reflect the light you received to those newly on the path.
Healing is mostly a process, an ongoing journey of discovering yourself as a unique drop of energy in the vast ocean of interconnectedness. Truly, your pain is mine, and my joy is yours. Love can never be separate; we are all part of each other.
No matter where you are on the path, if you can feel anything, your heart is still working.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Learning to trust the signs.
The very best communication a person can have with a loved one in Spirit is the one that happens on it's own, without the help of a medium. I simply validate the connected presence of a loved one, but I don't make it happen. Because a Soul who is no longer present in a body can't simply show up and talk to you, we have to...
The very best communication a person can have with a loved one in Spirit is the one that happens on it's own, without the help of a medium. I simply validate the connected presence of a loved one, but I don't make it happen. Because a Soul who is no longer present in a body can't simply show up and talk to you, we have to learn how to trust the synchronicity and coincidences that display their love for us.
My ability to communicate with Spirit works at it's best when I am completely objective of the connection. This is why I insist on anonymity prior to a session. If I know your story, it's hard for me to know what information is already in my consciousness and what information I am mentally receiving from your loved one. Because of this, when I want to connect with my own loved ones, I'm in the same boat you are. I have to rely on the signs I receive to get my "hello" from Heaven. Last year, I realized how I was missing one of the clearest signs I regularly receive.
I went to a lecture in Chicago to see the medium, John Holland. During the presentation, he spoke about how many people receive coins as signs from loved ones passed. In my mind I laughed and thought, "Ah! Too bad for them, I always find bills!" It's true, last Spring I found a $5 bill nestled into the first green tips of the daffodils in my garden coming up. I have stepped out of my car in an empty parking lot on to a pile of a few hundred dollars. It's like paper money FINDS ME, it's been happening for years. After the event, I walked out with my friends and as I stepped onto the street, I said, "Hey, is that money?" I bent over and obscured by the snow and salt was a five dollar bill. I picked it up and told my friends that during the lecture I was silently laughing since I always seem to find paper money. I held in my hand the proof.
Once we were in the car, we began talking about the readings that day, and like everyone else in the room, I had asked my special loved one in Heaven to say hello if he could. It suddenly dawned on me....and I CAN NOT believe I missed this all these years....my brother in Heaven is named BILL. I can't believe I missed that one! I took that bill around to my group readings for quite a while, until I met a woman in Minneapolis who also had a brother in Spirit named Bill, I gave it to her as a reminder of his ongoing connection. I trust I'll find another one when the time is right.
Bill is the blonde on the right, and I am the cutie second to the left. Bill passed away at age 30, almost 19 years ago.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The final moments of physical life.
Without a doubt, one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face is coping as someone we love experiences their final moments here on the physical Earth. When a Soul is communicating during a reading, they never seem too concerned about how they passed. They will often acknowledge it, as a means to correctly validate their identity, but they don't emotionally cling to the experience. This includes those who pass in horrific...
Without a doubt, one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face is coping as someone we love experiences their final moments here on the physical Earth. When a Soul is communicating during a reading, they never seem too concerned about how they passed. They will often acknowledge it, as a means to correctly validate their identity, but they don't emotionally cling to the experience. This includes those who pass in horrific, tragic circumstances. To give a bit of perspective on it, I always ask people, "Do you remember the moment of your physical birth? Surely, it must have hurt! Do you replay that painful moment over and over in your head throughout your life?" The answer is always, "No." It was simply a way for the Soul to get a "vehicle" to carry it through an Earthly journey. Likewise, when someone has passed into eternal life, they do not ruminate over the circumstance that was the mode of transit for the Soul to renter the Spirit plane. Helen Keller was quoted as saying, "Death is no more than a passing from one room to another." I agree with this.
At the group event in Pennsylvania this past weekend, a woman named Linda received a message from her father, concerning her mother, who was in hospice care. He urgently communicated, "You need to take care of yourself. Get something to eat. Take a shower. It's okay if your mom passes when you walk out to go to the bathroom. You've done a wonderful job. Your best is good enough. We are here and all ready to receive her. You're not doing this alone." Linda had been brought to the reading by a friend, who picked her up at the hospice center. She hadn't eaten in 24 hours. Or bathed. Or slept. This had been going on for weeks as her mother was nearing the end. Linda was so incredibly stunned and grateful to receive that validation from her father. The next day I received a thank you note from Linda's friend for the great comfort and peace she was able to receive from her message. Linda herself posted on my Facebook Page: "I wanted to say thank you so much for connecting me with my family yesterday. The past few days have been so incredibly difficult and hearing from my dad that I had done a great job and that he had a plan to take care of my Mom allowed my mind to be more at ease. My mom passed peacefully overnight with us at her side."
Time and time again those in Spirit have let me know that moments before a tragic passing occurred, their Soul was lifted free of the physical body and they experienced no pain. Many Souls have communicated that they were greeted by family and pets at the time of their transition, despite the fact they passed alone in their homes. Repeatedly I hear stories of people talking to deceased loved ones in their final days of life. They see and hear them as if they are present...and they are.
Take some comfort. Spirit always validates their well being so we can lay our worst nightmares to rest. The last moments here are the beginning of a life more beautiful than we can conceive, but will experience in due time.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Spirit World is in cahoots!
At the group event in Sheboygan, Wis. last weekend, two incredible connections left me in awe of how much the Spirit world conspires in our favor. Back in the day, farmers would host a "barn raising" where a community of people would join efforts to get a large project done. The Spirit world operates in much the same way. I am often asked, "Are people together in Spirit?" The answer is not just yes, but YES! YES! And YES!
At the group event in Sheboygan, Wis. last weekend, two incredible connections left me in awe of how much the Spirit world conspires in our favor. Back in the day, farmers would host a "barn raising" where a community of people would join efforts to get a large project done. The Spirit world operates in much the same way. I am often asked, "Are people together in Spirit?" The answer is not just yes, but YES! YES! And YES!
Those of you who have attended a group event know I allow Spirit to come forward at will. As I was connecting with the Spirit contact last weekend, I clairvoyantly saw my dearly-missed neighbors, Katie and Frank, standing with the Spirit contact. I mentioned to the audience that the person communicating also knew my neighbors. Amazingly, one of their friends was in the audience and had recently, and very tragically, lost a daughter. Now, let me tell you a little about my neighbor Katie. I have never in my life met a kinder Soul. She's right up there with Mother Teresa. If she knew a member of our community had lost a child, she would absolutely pay her respects. She herself was a bereaved mother in life and understood the deep loss. So, are our loved ones with family members and friends? Yes. They exist in a community, like we do. Katie was there to offer her support and give energy to this connection.
Even more amazing, this family in attendance, who hailed from my small town, had heard about me from a client in Seattle, named Darci. When I met with Darci, an old friend of hers in Spirit asked her to pass along a message to his sister, about a jacket and a fire.
Darci hadn't had contact with his sister in years, but she managed to track her down. When Darci passed on the message, the sister confirmed that after her brother's passing, the family home burnt to the ground in a horrific fire. A fireman ran in and was able to retrieve only one object from the home; the deceased brother's track jacket!
That night, I also had a black dog in Spirit come through, and that dog brought his owner in. (Man's best friend, indeed!) The dog belonged to a young man who validated his family in the audience. He then communicated to me that he was also with another young man for the family sitting next to his. (These families did not know each other.) Then yet another young man for the family sitting next to THEM joined the other two. The grand finale was seeing MY OWN brother who passed at age 30, standing behind these three young men. My brother communicated to me, "I'm always here to help you, sis!" All four of the young men had a sister present.
It takes a village. Every day we meet new people, who I believe are sent directly to us by our loved ones to help us with specific life challenges. Perhaps they sympathize with a struggle we face, or have an important lesson for us. In the best cases, they come bearing gifts of wine and chocolate. :-) In Spirit, our loved ones are also making friends and working together to get the messages across the wire. They unite and combine the energy to make it more powerful. Sometimes we wonder why we can't see what our loved ones are doing to help us heal. Let this be an answer.
These are not coincidences; just a lot of work going on behind the scenes in the Spirit world.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.