It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a SIGN?
Without a doubt, the most talked about, written about, and misunderstood topic on the afterlife are "signs" sent to us from a loved one in Spirit.
- What makes something a sign and not a natural occurrence?
- How do we know who the sign is from?
- Why don't I see any signs?
- Why have they stopped?
Without a doubt, the most talked about, written about, and misunderstood topic on the afterlife are "signs" sent to us from a loved one in Spirit.
- What makes something a sign and not a natural occurrence?
- How do we know who the sign is from?
- Why don't I see any signs?
- Why have they stopped?
I had a really good laugh with a friend last week about a "sign." A dress I had really wanted to buy last fall suddenly appeared as an advertisement on my Facebook newsfeed, on sale at 75% off. I told my friend, who had seen me try the dress on last October, "Well, it's on sale now! Of course I should get it-it's a sign!" She laughed heartily and said,"Yeah, a STOP sign!" I love the way the Universe operates and brings the joy of laughter into the most mundane moments of life.
Yet it's a big question for many: how do you KNOW and TRUST that what you are hoping is communication from a loved one, actually is?
Let's take a quick trip back to the basics of Spirit communication. Logically, we know we aren't going to hear an audible voice speaking to us; a loved one in Spirit doesn't have a mouth or a body, so the communication will come to us by mental telepathy. A simple thought. In order to get to the place where you are able to trust that the sign you are witnessing is a valid communication, you have to learn to trust your thoughts. You need to become aware of your thinking patterns, and learn to discern the moment when they become interrupted by a "Hello!" from Heaven.
Over the past week, I have had three excellent examples of how a loved one in Spirit manifested a sign through nature, and then amazingly, validated that specific sign during a private session with a client.
In the first situation, my client asked, "Does my mother send any signs to me of her presence?" Immediately, I saw a red cardinal in my mind's eye. When I communicated this, my client's face went white as a sheet! She told me just a few hours before her reading, her daughter emailed her to ask me if cardinals were a special sign. The daughter had just sold an older piece of family jewelry on eBay that featured a cardinal. Meanwhile the family had been seeing cardinals perched just outside their window, leaving them to wonder if the mother figure was trying to communicate.
In the second reading, I was connecting a client to her son who had passed several years ago. During the reading he showed me a bird's nest filled with blue eggs and robins. Breaking out into a huge smile, she exclaimed, "I just knew it was from Lyle! I knew it!" Soon after his passing, a robin had made a nest in the track of the sliding glass door, and it had to be moved. I was worried the parents would abandon the nest, so I said, "If that's you Lyle, bring the birds back!"Within a few days, the birds had safely built another nest just two feet away, where my client was able to watch the entire process from egg laying to baby birds catching their first flight throughout the spring.
During the third reading, I was connecting a client with her son who had passed, and he showed me the image of a monarch butterfly, and communicated this was his symbol to his mother. She smiled and also reported that soon after her son had passed, she'd had the unusual pleasure of witnessing a monarch transform from caterpillar to butterfly right near her chair in her backyard. She said she had always felt it was her son Louis, showing her through nature, how he too, had undergone a beautiful transformation to take flight into the Spirit world. How wonderful that he was able to confirm that for her!
I've gotten the question many times, "Has my loved one come back to me..." as a butterfly, dragonfly, bird, etc.? It's not that your loved one has reincarnated as an animal or insect, but rather, they use the power of their ability to connect through thought to work with these creatures, perhaps to make a nest in a specific place or to land in a spot you'll notice. Birds and butterflies are everywhere, so the next question is how do we tell if it's just a natural occurrence or if it is truly a sign?
First of all, let me ask you this: Does it really matter? If seeing a delicate, beautiful thing of nature makes you think of your loved one with joy or peace...isn't the purpose of connection fulfilled?
When a loved one wishes to connect with you, they do so by focusing their energy and their thoughts on you. You receive this by becoming suddenly flooded with thoughts of them, completely out of the blue. It happens when you are focused on your own reality, and boom! Suddenly, you think of a loved one.
Signs are as varied as Spirits themselves, so maybe your loved one is sending you repetitive images or messages through friends and even strangers. Everywhere you go, you see Harley Davidson merchandise. Or people keep coming at you with the same little quip. Are you listening? Do you see the pattern?
I'll never forget a powerful sign I had about six years ago from a cardinal. I was caring for an elderly friend who'd had knee surgery, sitting in her living room with her, when a cardinal landed on a gutter just outside the window. It started chirping, getting louder and more insistent with each passing minute. He stayed there, singing his song furiously for a full 10 minutes, until I looked in my handbag to discover that I had left my cell phone in the car. When I retrieved it, I had nine missed calls and three voicemails. My daughter had dislocated her knee at school, and had been rushed to the hospital! Was a bright red bird trying to get my attention? Could it have been a coincidence?! I know that was a sign, and one I appreciated!
Sometimes we wonder who is sending us a sign, and in my story above, I can't pin it to a specific loved one who has passed. It was perhaps just an urgent message from the Universe. The way to know who a sign is from is to listen to your heart as you first notice the occurrence. Who comes to mind? Who are you suddenly remembering?
If you feel you aren't seeing signs in the same manner you did in the first year or two after your loved one passed, it's not that they have "gone" anywhere; it's that the nature of the communication has changed. Think of receiving a sign through a cardinal as involving a third party. Your loved one has to use their thoughts to convince the cardinal to perch on the fence outside of your window at the exact moment you happen to be sitting there. Who knows how much energy that takes? Once you become more familiar and open to receiving thoughts, the middleman (middlebird?) is eliminated. It's quicker, faster and easier to simply send a thought. Learn to trust! The communication won't stop; it will evolve and change.
Hilariously, I hear about a wide variety of experiences, from those who don't see any signs at all, to those who see them everywhere. Highly-analytical, logical people often have a difficult time incorporating that spiritual trust into their rationale. Because we can't prove without a doubt that a deceased loved one caused a butterfly to flutter by, we don't trust that it is possible. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I see people who are completely convinced that every gnat, seagull and pigeon they see is a Spirit trying to convey a message of urgent importance. Maybe it's just a fruit fly attracted to that overripe banana. I mean, just maybe...right?
It's so important to find a balance. We know the human Spirit is eternal and doesn't die. We know our loved ones who have passed no longer have a mouth with which to speak. We know we are able to receive thoughts from outside sources. It makes sense that our communication will be primarily through mental telepathy, which is subtle. We must also bear in mind that when a beloved person has made their transition to the Spirit world, their journey here on the Earthly plane is complete. We will not be fire-wired to them 24-7, but rather, we will receive blessed visits that restore our hope and faith in the process of life and assure us of continued bonds. There will be a wonderful reunion, free of communication barriers, when the time is right. But right now, our job is to truly live, to be focused on creating our reality, learning to love more fully and absorb the wonders of the Earth. We do this in the company of, and with the guidance of, all of our loved ones who have gone before us, whether we acknowledge them or not.
The next time you doubt a sign you are receiving, ask yourself if a friend showed up with a small gift for you, say a box of chocolates, would you ignore her in disbelief? Would you demand a bigger, better box on the spot? ("If this butterfly is really YOU, then send me a mountain lion! Then I'll trust it!")
Maybe the best response is, "Thank you."
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
You Are Connected!
My clients often say they feel disconnected from a loved one in Spirit. But from what I have observed, the disconnect often occurs on many levels. Disconnection from current world events. Disconnection from joy and laughter. Even disconnection from people in their lives.
As energetic Souls who occupy a physical body, we are always connected to our Source. You can call it Spirit, the Universe, God, whatever name you like. If you can, imagine yourself as an electrical unit attached by millions of small wires to literally everything and everyone with whom you interact. We always have access to that Source--our Higher Self. To access it, we must to learn to listen from a place other than our ears.
My clients often say they feel disconnected from a loved one in Spirit. But from what I have observed, the disconnect often occurs on many levels. Disconnection from current world events. Disconnection from joy and laughter. Even disconnection from people in their lives.
As energetic Souls who occupy a physical body, we are always connected to our Source. You can call it Spirit, the Universe, God, whatever name you like. If you can, imagine yourself as an electrical unit attached by millions of small wires to literally everything and everyone with whom you interact. We always have access to that Source--our Higher Self. To access it, we must to learn to listen from a place other than our ears.
Whether you are trying to tune in to communication with a loved one who has passed, or simply become more aware of your intuition, listening is going to be your new best friend. In our eagerness to be understood, we often talk, talk and talk without pausing to see if anyone is truly receiving. Being in a communicative space with Spirit requires us to be quiet and enter into a state of trust so we can receive. The old cliche, "listen to your heart" is an excellent example of how our Souls are always operating on that spiritual level. Be careful, however, sometimes we mistake listening to our heart as clinging to a hope or a desire. One of the classic ways I see people doing this, including myself, is we rationalize toxic relationships by saying, "But I love, him/her," as we are filled with pain. Love is grand, and it's heart-centered, but the truth is if your heart is hurting, and if you were listening to, trusting and honoring your heart, you'd be making choices that remove yourself from that source of pain. If your heart is hurting, listen to its feelings to find the source of pain.
When listening through our heart space, our most helpful intuitive gifts and communication are extremely subtle. A loved one in Spirit who is trying to communicate with us will literally send us a thought. Go back to the model of you being an electrical unit connected by wires. Through those wires, your brain picks up the message and delivers it to you as a thought. It's not super dramatic; it's a thought. If you want to tune in to your angels, guides, loved ones and Higher Self, you will have to learn to heed those subtle thoughts and feelings that occur without much fanfare. One great way to test them is to check in with your physical body. How does something make you feel? Often when a loved one is present, you can validate they are truly with you by literally feeling a slight change in your energy. That might be experienced as a tinglingly feeling, goosebumps, a sudden warmth, or perhaps a sensation of being lightly touched on your shoulder or cheek. It's so subtle, if you aren't tuned in, you could miss it.
I had a wild reminder this week of how important it is to trust these nuances instead of questioning them. While I was visiting a spa with a friend, I decided to go into the sauna. My friend walked in, and suddenly changed her mind, simply saying she didn't want to be in there. She went out and found a place to sit and relax, later telling me she was feeling a bit uneasy for no discernible reason. I sat down in the warmth, closed my eyes, and got into the moment. A few minutes later, that little voice in my head said, "You should go in the steam room." So I did. About 15 seconds after I walked out of the sauna, the ceiling collapsed in what sounded like an earthquake. A nine-foot beam literally fell out of the ceiling, with the glass lighting fixtures, and crashed into the sauna's heating unit. The noise alone sent me into a near state of shock! Looking back to the minutes before the crash, I can't say that I was having a wildly intuitive hit where the voice in my head was screaming, "Get the hell outta here!" It was very subtle. Speaking with my friend later, we found it interesting that she suddenly felt uneasy right before the event. I have no idea what would have happened to me if that mess had fallen on me, but it would have been ugly for certain. The only thing that saved me was listening to the small voice that said, "Go to the steam room."
When I do a reading for a client, the way I receive information from Spirit is much the same. It's simply a thought that flows in from a different space. When I open myself up to Spirit and conduct sessions, I know I can trust the thoughts that flow in easily. Trusting thoughts that flow in throughout the day requires a bit more discernment. One of my favorite sayings is, "Don't believe everything you think!" It's a bit of a joke, but we all tend to get on a crazy train of negativity sometimes and our thoughts can take a real nosedive. That is why I use my system of checking in with my body to see if a thought is true. I think of negative thoughts as interlopers: little invaders passing though my garden of carefully cultivated thoughts. I know they aren't true.
I'd love to see everyone take more time to learn to listen from their heart space; it's a practice that could change the world into a more peaceful place. There are two resources I'd love to share for further reading: I enjoy the "The Work" by Byron Katie; she recommends using a series of checks and questions to determine the truthfulness of our thoughts. She's great at helping people learn to banish destructive thought patterns. Another is Sonia Choquette and her work, "Trusting Your Vibes." She shares great wisdom on how to discern your intuitive hits from the rampant mental chatter.
One thing is for certain: learning to listen from your heart space will open you up to a source of knowledge, power and communication that can greatly alter your life for the better!
*This article was originally published in January 2015.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014-15 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Living Into the Answers.
Over the last few weeks I've taken some time to reflect upon 2014 and what it brought to my life. While I experienced plenty of wonderful, easy and joyful moments, the year was heavily laden with personal growth for me. I'm trying to make that sound positive, because in every challenge there is always a helpful lesson, but to be honest, it was entirely difficult to navigate. If I could sum up what I learned from it all into a sentence, it would be, "I learned to live into the answers."
Over the last few weeks I've taken some time to reflect upon 2014 and what it brought to my life. While I experienced plenty of wonderful, easy and joyful moments, the year was heavily laden with personal growth for me. I'm trying to make that sound positive, because in every challenge there is always a helpful lesson, but to be honest, it was entirely difficult to navigate. If I could sum up what I learned from it all into a sentence, it would be, "I learned to live into the answers."
I've always been a goal-oriented person, and I love making lists of tasks I can neatly check off as "complete" on the way to achieving the results I desire. This has been my personality since birth. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a foreign exchange student, and my mother had to fill out a form describing why she thought the experience would be good for me. I remember she wrote that I was "tenacious." You know, persistent, not giving up and really good at completing whatever I started. In the midst of my 2014 fog, my 20-year-old daughter said to me, "Come on Mom, you are a survivor. You're scrappy. You can get through this."
I questioned her, "I'm scrappy?"
"Yes! You fight for what you want, you don't accept failure as an option and you always take care of the people around you. You are so loyal, you are a survivor. You came out of the fire wearing Prada shoes!"
I love this girl; her sense of humor always lightens the day.
It gave me pause to consider how unbearably defeated, how truly lost I had felt. I had been without a survival plan. There just wasn't a road map available. My emotional GPS was broken. And I am terrible at being vulnerable and allowing other people to help me.
In the middle of all of this, my intuition was always whispering to me that I was experiencing a great lesson in grieving and loss. Are there other lessons to be gleaned from the experience? Surely. And I'm positive that five years from now, I'll be able to look back and list them for you. But right now, I'm still in the rebuilding phase.
This lesson had nothing to do with survival, the attainment of a goal or reaching a destination. It had everything to do with living in a state of trust. Basically, I had to live into the answers, one moment at a time, as they unfolded in front of me.
I was really uncomfortable in this state of not knowing. Anyone who has been thrown into a situation of loss or grief unexpectedly can relate. One minute you're on solid ground, and the next you're being swept down a rushing river over turbulent rapids. There's no swimming against the current to get back to where you were. The only the option is to let the water carry you.
During a recent conversation, a friend offered some words of wisdom: "Don't argue with reality." This was powerful to me. While I have never spoken those words, I've always had to live that truth. Years ago, I was a young mother with meager employment, no funds and two toddlers. Sitting around ruminating over why I was in that position or looking for someone to blame didn't put food on the table. Like my daughter said, failure has never been an option. My practice has always been to buck up, and get to work no matter what. No matter what. There was never space for me to feel sorry for myself and there was no job that was beneath me. Need your toilet scrubbed? Awesome, I have hungry children.
Living into the answers for our lives goes back to the simple premise of being present with the present. One day at a time. No matter which school of spiritual thought you follow, pretty much all of them teach this same principle. Get comfortable with reality, learn from the past but let it go, and don't waste energy worrying about a future that may not materialize.
Rebuilding a life is not an easy task, but there are steps you can take to make it more manageable. The first one is to give up your need to know the answers. If the situation calls for it, plan the next 12 hours. What are you going to eat? Do you have a place to sleep? Can you bathe?
Eventually you'll get a little stronger and can start thinking of longer-term goals. Maybe you can plan the week. Then you can look at the next three months. The real objective is to realize that when you are in a crisis, you have to live into the answers. While all of us are touched by experiences that seem fated, what we do with those experiences is wholly, completely and truly up to us.
Devastating losses catch us unaware, and it is so important that we not argue with reality when are head-to-head with a crisis. We must take each moment as it comes, and honor ourselves, knowing that feelings are simply feelings. They change and pass. And they may not even be the truth; though they may feel true in that moment, feelings borne under the heavy storms of crisis are frequently clouded. Though in the midst of upheaval you may feel stuck, know that you have the ability to choose new things for your life. New, supportive friends. New places to live. New careers to explore. New thoughts to think.
When the answers aren't forthcoming, release the panic and anxiety, and deal with what is right before you in that moment. When you take one step forward, the Universe sees your willingness to participate, and it conspires to help guide your next two steps. Live into it.
When things fall apart, remember they are often falling together in a more authentic arrangement for you. Trust. My children are in their 20s now, and looking back over the crisis years I can tell you this: they never missed a meal, and we never slept on the street. My lesson has been to trust. If all I can do is sit and sob, then that's all I can do. But when I am actively doing all I can, the rest falls into place. Through my tears, I have learned to believe in pronoia: the Universe is conspiring for my wellbeing. New experiences will be waiting for you, for me, for all of the suffering to embrace, once we allow our tears to dry.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Simple Things Mean the Most.
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
The Simple Things Mean The Most
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
About an hour ago I checked my mail and was surprised to see the aforementioned box outside my door, addressed from a skin care company I love. Excited, I opened it and found a beautiful gift set of my favorite products and a note from a wonderful friend. She caught me completely by surprise! Obviously, she had listened carefully to me many months ago when I casually mentioned how much I enjoyed these products. I took a picture of Moka sleeping in the box and sent it to her, along with a message saying he loved the box she sent.
Her surprise gesture made me feel so good. I mean, really good. I love surprises!
Last week, a holiday card arrived in my mail without a return address. It ended up being from an dear client of mine who wrote,"Thank you for helping me through the pain of losing yet another family member. Your messages have helped and given me some peace."
I can't tell you the surprise I felt that was quickly followed by a deep, humbling sense of gratitude. It shocked me a bit that she would think of me at the holidays; months, or even years after her reading. Her simple gesture filled me with happiness all day.
Another friend of mine sent me an email this week thanking me for the Christmas card I sent her. In it, she told me that she was cleaning out her kitchen drawer and found a card I had sent her some time ago and it reminded her that I was the first person to connect her with her daughter who has passed. Her email made me cry; there's nothing like first-thing-in-the-morning, still-haven't-had-coffee sentimentality.
After a group session in Chicago a few weeks ago someone in the audience approached me and said, "Mollie, you are always giving messages to everyone and today I have one for you. I saw this on the Internet and just really felt I needed to print it out for you."Into my hands she pressed a piece of paper with the quote on it,"When it's time for Souls to meet, there's nothing on Earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located." The message was relevant, beautiful and delivered right on time. It was a thoughtful gesture.
And one more simple thing that really made my day. Last night as I was dragging my suitcase in the house after my last trip of the year, I got a text message from a friend. It simply said, "Welcome home, love. I missed you." That, too, made me tear up. I don't get messages like that often.
My pleasure in life is almost entirely made of up of simple things that connect me to other people.
An unexpected gift.
An old card, reread and enjoyed again.
Creating the time to share a cup of tea with a friend.
Watching my cat do cat things.
Getting text message pictures from my daughter who is excited about her sewing project.
Sharing your joy with someone, in any capacity, is the best "simple thing" there is. After you have suffered the loss of a close loved one, you'll really understand the profound message this blog bears. Life is about simple things. Gestures and actions of thoughtfulness make everyday life abundant, no matter how grim the weather.
Anytime you can, share your love or joy with someone. Inspiration gives birth to miracles, and feeling connected is the greatest of them all.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Criticism Cure
The wisdom shared from the Spirit world during sessions is always meant to help us live better in the here and now. Theirs is a unique viewpoint; they've crossed that bridge and have seen the results of their actions from all perspectives. In other words, they know some good stuff about life.
While I was connecting a daughter to her mother in Spirit recently, the mother acknowledged that her daughter's marriage had undergone a transformation for the better, significantly better, in the last year. The woman smiled, and said to me, "It really has. We are much closer and happier now." Curious, I asked what she did that resulted in such an improvement? Her answer was simple...
The wisdom shared from the Spirit world during sessions is always meant to help us live better in the here and now. Theirs is a unique viewpoint; they've crossed that bridge and have seen the results of their actions from all perspectives. In other words, they know some good stuff about life.
While I was connecting a daughter to her mother in Spirit recently, the mother acknowledged that her daughter's marriage had undergone a transformation for the better, significantly better, in the last year. The woman smiled, and said to me, "It really has. We are much closer and happier now." Curious, I asked what she did that resulted in such an improvement? Her answer was simple, "I stopped criticizing my partner."
Inspired by her relationship transformation, I did an exhaustive search online for articles about criticism, the potential it yields for harm (HUGE) and the potential it might hold for positive change (small, and only when given by a unrelated third party).
Thinking back to when my children were very young, I remember times when a teacher or another parent would tell me something positive my child had done. I would think to myself, "Why do they act exactly the opposite at home? I've asked them a million times to do that!" I'll also never forget the day a dear friend of mine called in tears because a mutual friend had offered her "constructive criticism" in front of group of people. And who hasn't had a relative offer a cutting remark during the holidays?
I am not an expert in psychology, but I can tell you this: criticism is a killer when delivered by someone you love.
It wipes out trust.
It obliterates intimacy.
It causes pain.
It creates distance.
There are few places where criticism can be offered and accepted with helpful results; for example, when it is sought from a professional counselor or a trusted mentor. These specific people are teachers for us; we expect their feedback and are open to it.
But, when criticism comes from a parent, partner, lover, spouse, friend or relative it hurts. It damages the relationship. Our friends and family in the Spirit world have the benefit of seeing the big picture. Often they come through in a reading with apologies for judging others too harshly during their time on Earth. Their experience offers a valuable lesson for those of us willing to listen: it's time for a criticism cure.
Our basic needs in life, outside of food and shelter, are love and acceptance. These needs are universal.
The very fact that you are reading this blog means you are interested in self-awareness and spiritual growth. I'm willing to bet 100% of you have a fully-formed, inner critic who works overtime. You are aware of your issues, and the last thing you need is for your mother or spouse to highlight them for you.
A true intention to help someone comes from a place of love.
Whether you are trying to figure out how to deal with an outside critic or calm your own inner critic, remember that statement: A true intention to help comes from a place of love.
It can be hard to take criticism from a loved one, and even harder to look at ourselves as being too critical. Want to make changes in the way you approach your relationships? Offer loving and positive suggestions instead of highlighting what someone is doing wrong. Never attack a person; address their behavior.
Instead of saying to someone: "You have such a low self-esteem. Your life will just be full of problems until you correct that," try: "I really value you and our connection. You add something unique to my life. You've grown so much over the years, I notice the self work you are doing. I love you."
The best, strongest and most growth-oriented relationships are based on unconditional love, kindness and acceptance. People suffering with a low self-esteem are probably keenly aware of that, and having it thrown in their face again is not going to be helpful. Instead, offer encouragement. Relationships are mirrors that show us we are worthy of love.
Marriages and friendships don't end because the mutual support was just too much to handle, they end because the flaw-finding became toxic.
One of the best articles I discovered about what DOES work in a relationship is Masters of Love, by Emily Esfahani. My favorite quote from this article: "Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Research independent from theirs has shown that kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated-feel loved."
Many years ago while on vacation in Hawaii, I met a restaurant reviewer while relaxing at the pool. I'll never forget something he said to me, "We never give anyone a poor review. The unspoken rule here in Hawaii is, 'Never say bad.' We simply promote and highlight the restaurants that are doing a great job."
Imagine the fundamental change we could make in our relationships and our own happiness if we resolved to silence the critic and "Never say bad." Every word of support we choose over criticism is a seed for our relationship growth. What we plant now, in our homes, at our holiday gatherings and within ourselves will be harvested perennially in years to come. Treating one another with loving kindness, patience and gentleness could be the greatest gift we give to ourselves and those we love--no wrapping required. What will you choose to cultivate?
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Signs of Hope.
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known...
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known. Family traditions are often carried forward in honor of a special person who has passed away. If you stop and think about them for a moment, do you realize in doing that, you are sending a "sign" to a loved one in Spirit that YOU are with THEM?
Have you ever considered that perhaps your loved one is looking for a "sign" from you?
I'm often asked about specific signs from loved ones who have passed, and the answer is the same for everyone. Whatever makes you think of your loved one and causes you to feel something emotionally or physically in that moment, that's your sign. There are so many ways for a loved one in Spirit to share a loving thought with you. Perhaps you'll see their name printed on a magazine in an odd space, find coins, or hear a special song on the radio as you scan through the channels. I've shared my story many times about my own personal sign from my older brother who passed 19 years ago. For many years, I've been finding paper money in the strangest places, and often in odd amounts. I've had five dollar bills being pushed up in my garden with the daffodils on my birthday in May. Once, I stepped onto a pile of cash in an empty parking lot, $168, the exact amount I needed for a doctor visit that week. It took me a LONG TIME to see the connection: my brother's name is Bill. It's almost embarrassing that I didn't get it sooner !
A few weeks ago I received a spectacular message in the form of two blue jays. I had woken up early that morning, full of excitement to film an episode for a new TV show. (It will be airing in a few months!) As I sat down at my desk with coffee, I was immediately drawn to look out the window into the the garden. There, perched on the fence, were two gorgeous blue jays, yapping and squawking to get my attention. Perhaps it's not uncommon in the Upper Midwest, except that I have never once, in 12 years of living here, seen a blue jay in my neighborhood. With my curiosity piqued, I did an internet search to see what special meaning a blue jay holds in animal lore. This is what I found: "Blue jay people are learning to embrace a more exciting, flamboyant and glamorous life while at the same time fitting in wherever they choose to land. Blue jay arrives onto the scene with beauty, color, energy and commanding attention like royalty or stardom walking on the red carpet."
The perfect message for a day of working on TV!
My Blue Jay visit inspired me to paint this for a friend.
The comfort granted through a small sign from a loved one cannot be conveyed in earthly terms. Honestly, I believe it sometimes makes the difference between living a day in peace, and wishing you would have never awakened. We can't know the pain of another, but this time of year we all really need to dig deep and find gentle compassion for the newly-bereaved and for bereaved parents.
The first few years without a beloved parent present during the holiday celebrations can be very difficult. It's a quandary for those who have been blessed with strong, close, parent-child relationships. No one ever takes a happy moment with a loved one for granted but the truth is, there are some mothers who set the room aglow with their holiday cheer. Those moms who fill every heart with tender joy and every belly with her secret recipes. There's always that crazy cousin or uncle who is life of the party and thrills everyone with his wild stories while the laughter lasts all night long. They are missed terribly at the holidays!
It would be just like that crazy cousin to pull a prank as a sign from Spirit, wouldn't it? Perhaps lights flickering? And your mom might send you a sign in the form of a familiar smell while driving in a closed car. Perhaps a friend will randomly email you a quote that happened to be a favorite of your loved one in Spirit. Keep you heart and eyes open to the many ways you can be touched by love.
We have to keep on, in whatever way we can, and look for those unexpected moments of serendipity that prove we never face a day alone.
There is another way you can be graced with hope from a loved one without even realizing it's happening. At some point, we all come up against a bad day, when the grief just hurts and the loneliness is overwhelming. We huddle up somewhere safe and alone, and release the tears. Eventually the tears dry up, the tissues run out and we find ourselves getting back to business. It's in those quiet moments that the love of Spirit is flowing directly into your Soul. The power or prayer or intention is unlimited, and you need to know that your loved one is praying for you, thinking about you and sending you all the love in the universe in those moments of despair. So silent is the exchange that you are unaware, but somehow, someway, you found the strength to pick up and try again. It's a gift of grace.
Above all, be gentle during this season. Be gentle with yourself and everyone you meet. Walk slower, listen more, compromise when you can, forgive, forgive and forgive. Be the gift of love to everyone you encounter.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.