To Cherish That Which Cannot Be Replaced.
Being a conduit of messages of healing and love for those who have passed on brings me back to the same emotional place, again and again, even after years of doing this work.
I usually get all broken up like this after doing many consecutive sessions with people who have lost a loved one unexpectedly or tragically. (Which is nearly everyone I work with.) This week it was triggered by a mother who lost a child she had devoted the last 10 years of her life protecting. It was followed by a question from a different mother who was deeply concerned her deceased son might...
Being a conduit of messages of healing and love for those who have passed on brings me back to the same emotional place, again and again, even after years of doing this work.
I usually get all broken up like this after doing many consecutive sessions with people who have lost a loved one unexpectedly or tragically. (Which is nearly everyone I work with.) This week it was triggered by a mother who lost a child she had devoted the last 10 years of her life protecting. It was followed by a question from a different mother who was deeply concerned her deceased son might feel she was “getting rid of him” if she scattered his ashes. Next came an evidence-packed message from a person who went missing in 2009. I don’t think I will ever get over seeing the shock on my client’s faced as they asked, “Do you think my sibling is dead?”
Deep breath. I reminded myself to breathe as I prepared to answer the question, as I do so now.
Life is about cherishing relationships. It’s the only “thing” we have that is real and lasting. And it is completely intangible: you can’t see, touch or buy it. It can only be felt, and to have that feeling of being close to another is the most precious and priceless experience we can have.
It is so easy to get caught up in our lives, perhaps the easiest misstep of all. We get ensnared into our stories and scripts: the ones we write and the ones we have starring roles in. We get obsessed over what people think of us (usually nothing, they are busy thinking of what you think of them), what real estate, car or status symbol we will get next, how we can get out of debt, or my favorite: what vacation we can take that will give us an escape from all of the above!
I am guilty. I am saddened to admit that I am speaking from experience. I too, have had extended time periods in my life where I operated solely in survival mode. I missed so many important events as a result: school plays, breakfasts together, dinner parties and I will never forget the year I missed summer. Living in Wisconsin, I can tell you, that’s tragic. I was just too busy to plant my vegetables or tend my garden.
I had a quick FaceTime chat with my sister-in-law over coffee one morning, who lost her Dad a few years ago. He was just in his early 60s when he passed unexpectedly. We concluded that the lessons of grieving are so painful and yet so important. One big lesson is to do things now. If there is anything that you want to do, need to do, should do, can do…the time for that is now.
It’s difficult to take a chance on being wrong, rejected, or failing at whatever it is that you decide you need to do, but your willingness to persist though those feelings will reward you with something much sweeter: peace. You might even qualify for the grand-prizes of lasting joy, satisfaction and fulfillment!
Listen: living life fully means taking these messages from the dead and turning them into lessons to live by.
No matter how much you’ve been hurt in the past, you still have to operate with a heart open to love.
You are going to have to fight feelings of inadequacy with positive self-talk the same way you resist urges to eat too much chocolate when you want to lose weight.
You will have to look at your schedule and your budget and make some tough decisions about what gets top-billing in your life.
I sincerely hope you choose to put people in the top spot. When it’s all said and done here on Earth, the things you take with you are the memories, the energy you invested in relationships and the love.
That beautiful home, the car you wanted so badly, and even that family ring that holds such sentimental value to you all stay here. The fame, acceptance and popularity you strived for mean very little in the afterlife when the playing field is leveled to a place where everyone is an incredible being of light.
The deceased communicate to help us live better in the here-and-now. The key to arriving at that place satisfied with the way you lived your life is to make choices now that create relationships filled with giving and receiving unconditional love.
And now I am back to where I was yesterday during that reading with a mother who recently lost her adult son.
“He shows himself standing next to you. I can feel the emotional closeness. His head is held high–he communicates that he received unconditional love from you and his father. He wants to thank you for this. It’s the greatest gift he ever received.”
He died of an overdose. He was, and still is, so very loved.
Don’t wait. Open your heart and push the edge of possibility right now!
©Mollie Morning Star 2016. Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet, provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
VIDEO BLOG: Which loved one is sending me a sign?
Evidential Psychic Medium, Mollie Morning Star, answers a question from a viewer with multiple loved ones in Spirit. She is wondering how to tell which one is sending her a sign. Mollie shares an endearing, personal story of how she overlooked a very specific sign from her brother who passed away 20 years ago. She also discusses the higher purpose of signs and how you can also send them to a loved one.
Evidential Psychic Medium, Mollie Morning Star, answers a question from a viewer with multiple loved ones in Spirit. She is wondering how to tell which one is sending her a sign. Mollie shares a personal story of how she overlooked a very specific sign from her brother who passed away 20 years ago. She also discusses the higher purpose of signs and how you can also send them to a loved one.
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Quieting the Peanut Gallery
Back when my children were young, to try and save myself some embarrassment whenever we dined at friends’ homes, I taught them they could use one of two answers if asked if they liked the food: “Yes! Thanks for cooking!” or “It’s interesting. Thanks for cooking!” Blurting out “It’s horrible!” wasn’t helpful or kind. A meal is a gift, not a place to inject negative opinions.
Back when my children were young, to try and save myself some embarrassment whenever we dined at friends’ homes, I taught them they could use one of two answers if asked if they liked the food: “Yes! Thanks for cooking!” or “It’s interesting. Thanks for cooking!” Blurting out “It’s horrible!” wasn’t helpful or kind. A meal is a gift, not a place to inject negative opinions.
Well, it’s been an “interesting” week for me. Like anyone else who is coping with the human condition 100% of the time, I can handle most stresses if they come at me one by one. But when stress comes slapping in from every angle, it’s time to stop and regroup before I reach the breakdown point. That’s the “interesting” meal the Universe cooked up for me this week. Family, work, health, and tax day…one big, simmering pot of chaos.
When I logged online, I found a nastier-than-usual dose of comments from the Peanut Gallery called Facebook. I’m not going to share the details of what I regularly receive, but it goes way beyond, “This is devil’s work!” But alas, it’s Facebook, and lots of people spew their hate in 30 seconds and move on. Then there’s the Peanut Gallery called my Inbox: I’m amazed when people take the time to email me nasty comments or even “helpful” suggestions that aren’t helpful at all. All of this adds up to a lot of chatter in my head. Not the dead people this time—just me, The Peanut Gallery of Mollie, chiding myself and sinking deeper into the problem instead of the solution.
I was so stressed out I couldn’t sleep—which is one trouble I never have. Being a traveler, I’ve learned to sleep wherever I am. I gave in at 3 a.m. and decided to have a cup of tea. As I sat there sipping, I tried to dream up logical answers for each situation, and I just couldn’t. So instead I prayed and asked for angelic help, for Spirit, for God, for my dead brother—-anything, anyone who could show me the path to serenity.
The angels didn’t manifest. There was no sudden miracle. Geez, I couldn’t even get my brother to make a light to flicker to show his presence. I felt lost, except for one small thought that popped into my head.
The chaos would keep cranking up until I changed course.
I knew it was true. Change is the only way out of an issue. Either the issue changes, or you change yourself.
I realized my work schedule needed a major overhaul—and how disappointing that would be for some people. I realized that my injured back needs to be babied for the next few weeks. Lots of inconvenience there! The other situations lay outside of me. I could only change my reaction to them.
I gave thanks to the stress for showing me the areas I need to work on. I also gave thanks to the Universe, or God, for giving me this lesson in a compassionate way. I’m in a challenging situation that I can’t transform quickly. But even on a lousy day there is always a “best case scenario” that can happen within the framework that exists. I crawled back into bed and got up two hours later, still exhausted and with a migraine. That’s when grace started unfurling on my behalf, and I saw the best case scenario playing out right before my eyes.
During an early morning work meeting, I was encouraged to stay strong and reminded that, “It’s darkest before the dawn.”
A good friend with whom I haven’t spoken in months sent me this text out of the blue: “Don’t worry. It will all be all right.” You’ve got to be kidding! His Soul was picking up my spiritual SOS. Trusting his intuition, he responded to my energetic plea for help.
And while the troublesome situations sat and simmered unchanged, I checked out of life for three hours to receive the gift of a massage and water therapy for my back at a beautiful spa. The gift was given by someone who loves me and wants me to be able to work pain-free. I protested when it was offered, thinking it was just too much to accept. But then I realized it was the Universe conspiring to help me. As I relaxed into the hot water, I told the Peanut Gallery of Mollie it had two choices: shut up or give thanks. So, for the next three hours, I silently expressed gratitude for everything and focused on my trusty affirmation of many years, “ I am healthy, happy, whole, well, loved and abundant.”
In the massage room there was a small card waiting for me with a picture of a flowing stream and a quote.
“Hardships often prepare people for an extraordinary destiny.” --C.S. Lewis
“Go with the flow,” I thought, looking at the picture of the stream. That’s when I thought of you. The thousands of people who look to me to be a light seen from the depths of their grief. The extraordinary, everyday people I meet who are living through the hell of loss, and who can’t change a damn thing about their situations.
I walked out of the spa feeling much better. Nothing had actually changed. I still have schedule, family, health and tax-day stresses to confront. But now I’m sure I can handle them, especially knowing that I have coworkers, friends, strangers and even a Higher Power willing to encourage, comfort and inspire me along the way.
Perhaps you need to give your Peanut Gallery an ultimatum, too. Taking a break, even a few hours, from situations you cannot change and infusing your being with gratitude can help get you through the day more peacefully. Prayers are often answered by our friends. Accept the Divine’s response to your requests through the people directed into your life. Just say “Yes!” And don’t forget to add a heartfelt “Thank you!”
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
VIDEO BLOG: Addressing the Myths of Suicide.
Evidential Psychic Medium, Mollie Morning Star, answers questions from a bereaved woman who has experienced phenomena in her home after her fiancee's suicide. Mollie shares her knowledge and puts to rest some of the myths associated about what happens to a soul who completes suicide. The blog wraps up with recommended resources for those who are rebuilding their lives after this type of loss.
Evidential Psychic Medium, Mollie Morning Star, answers questions from a bereaved woman who has experienced phenomena in her home after her fiancee's suicide. Mollie shares her knowledge and puts to rest some of the myths about what happens to a soul who completes suicide. The blog wraps up with recommended resources for those who are rebuilding their lives after this type of loss. The Alliance of Hope can be found at www.allianceofhope.org Click HERE to visit their website.
You should also read this article from 2014: Opening Up About Suicide
We'd love for you to submit a question for the next video blog! Please use the form found HERE.
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
VIDEO BLOG: Receiving Communications and Signs from a Child in Spirit
Evidential Psychic Medium, Mollie Morning Star, answers questions from two bereaved mothers about afterlife connections with their daughters. One passed two weeks ago, the other, two years ago. Mollie gives both mothers helpful information on what type of communication to expect as the years pass. People often look for the same "signs" and yet, as they become more spiritually aware, the signs and communication change. The blog wraps up with 3 recommended blog articles from 2014 to help them learn more about recognizing the spiritual connection.
Today I am answering questions from two bereaved mothers about afterlife connections with their daughters. One passed two weeks ago, the other, two years ago. I give both mothers helpful information on what type of communication to expect as the years pass. People often look for the same "signs" and yet, as they become more spiritually aware, the signs and communication change. The blog wraps up with 3 recommended blog articles from 2014 to help them learn more about recognizing the spiritual connection.
You'll want to read these three blog posts from last year:
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
How Do You Perceive Reality?
Have you had upsetting thoughts about a passed loved one missing your important life events such as the birth of a child, weddings or serious illness? You need to read this article for an easy to understand explanation and validation of how your loved ones are definitely seeing what is currently happening in your life.
It’s Spring in the Upper Midwest! Hallelujah! The weather was bright and sunny today and the forecast is above freezing for the next week and a half. Melting snow and rain boot season is here, and it brings with it a vibrant energy of growth. There’s a lot of discussion about when spring really starts. Is it a specific date? When the crocus blooms? For me, it’s when I walk outside and the cold doesn’t hurt my face! (Very low standards here in Wisconsin.)
The return of the birds is one of my favorite signs of spring. They have been chirping their beaks off at dawn for the last two weeks. A few days ago, I saw a frustrated little chickadee out in my garden. It reminded me of one of my favorite analogies for explaining how loved ones in Spirit do not miss out on what happens in our lives.
My garden is very narrow and is shaded by the house most of the day. I usually move my computer up to my dining room to work so I can look out the window and enjoy the flowers. To help me get a better view of my roses, and to increase the amount of light the plants receive, I lean old mirrors against the fence. It’s really neat, and I can see so much more of the garden from my window.
I first spotted the chickadee through the kitchen window while I was pouring my morning coffee. He was hopping around on the snow in front of a mirror and would try to jump into it. He’d fall back onto the snow, shake his head, and do it again. This sort of scene carried on all day. He’d hop onto a hydrangea branch, stare at himself in the mirror and try to jump onto the branch that was reflected in the glass. He’d perch on the top edge of the mirror, lean over, look at himself and AGAIN try to somersault into what he perceived as another part of the garden.
Mirrors provide an interesting view, don’t they? In the chickadee’s case, he just couldn’t see beyond his own reality.
One of the great concerns people share with me during their grieving is that their loved ones didn’t live to see their grandchildren, graduations, weddings, etc.
But your loved ones in Spirit really do see what happens after they pass. They share those special moments with you, both the joyous and difficult ones.
To help people understand this better, I explain it like this:
Everyone has seen a television show with a police questioning room in it. The subject sits on a chair alone and is surrounded by walls made of two-way mirrors. All he can see is his own reality reflected back at him. Yet on the “Other Side” of those mirrors sit many people who are able to see through the glass and observe everything the subject is doing.
Easy to understand, right? We get very caught up in our reality, because it’s all we can see in the looking glass. But that is not true for our loved ones who have passed into the next dimension—call it Heaven, the Other Side, the Spirit World, or whatever you like. They don’t miss anything!
Just a few weeks ago I connected a family to their son who had recently passed. After his message, he communicated for me to “Tell my mom I see the new broom.” Sure enough, she had just bought a new broom for the kitchen. If he sees the new broom, he certainly sees the big things that are happening! It’s important to pay attention to these kinds of small details during a connection with a medium. They are so specific that only those living in the home will be able to validate them. Non-Google-able, as I like to say.
Try to remember the mirror analogy next time you feel that wave of sadness creep in and you think of what your loved one is missing. They see you. They send you their support and prayers.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Simple Things Mean the Most.
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
The Simple Things Mean The Most
A "thing" can be a tangible good; an object of some sort. It can also be an activity, an action or undertaking. Today I'm talking about the latter: simple actions that can mean the world to someone. In this season of giving, I encourage everyone to rethink what kind of "things" you'll offer others this year.
My cat, Moka, is sleeping in a small box on the floor right now. I just can't help but to smile widely every time I look down at him. He is completely buried under tissue paper and made a little hole to peek out of. It's hysterical! As I gazed down at him contentedly sleeping, I thought, "Life really is about the simple things. He is in seventh heaven!"
About an hour ago I checked my mail and was surprised to see the aforementioned box outside my door, addressed from a skin care company I love. Excited, I opened it and found a beautiful gift set of my favorite products and a note from a wonderful friend. She caught me completely by surprise! Obviously, she had listened carefully to me many months ago when I casually mentioned how much I enjoyed these products. I took a picture of Moka sleeping in the box and sent it to her, along with a message saying he loved the box she sent.
Her surprise gesture made me feel so good. I mean, really good. I love surprises!
Last week, a holiday card arrived in my mail without a return address. It ended up being from an dear client of mine who wrote,"Thank you for helping me through the pain of losing yet another family member. Your messages have helped and given me some peace."
I can't tell you the surprise I felt that was quickly followed by a deep, humbling sense of gratitude. It shocked me a bit that she would think of me at the holidays; months, or even years after her reading. Her simple gesture filled me with happiness all day.
Another friend of mine sent me an email this week thanking me for the Christmas card I sent her. In it, she told me that she was cleaning out her kitchen drawer and found a card I had sent her some time ago and it reminded her that I was the first person to connect her with her daughter who has passed. Her email made me cry; there's nothing like first-thing-in-the-morning, still-haven't-had-coffee sentimentality.
After a group session in Chicago a few weeks ago someone in the audience approached me and said, "Mollie, you are always giving messages to everyone and today I have one for you. I saw this on the Internet and just really felt I needed to print it out for you."Into my hands she pressed a piece of paper with the quote on it,"When it's time for Souls to meet, there's nothing on Earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located." The message was relevant, beautiful and delivered right on time. It was a thoughtful gesture.
And one more simple thing that really made my day. Last night as I was dragging my suitcase in the house after my last trip of the year, I got a text message from a friend. It simply said, "Welcome home, love. I missed you." That, too, made me tear up. I don't get messages like that often.
My pleasure in life is almost entirely made of up of simple things that connect me to other people.
An unexpected gift.
An old card, reread and enjoyed again.
Creating the time to share a cup of tea with a friend.
Watching my cat do cat things.
Getting text message pictures from my daughter who is excited about her sewing project.
Sharing your joy with someone, in any capacity, is the best "simple thing" there is. After you have suffered the loss of a close loved one, you'll really understand the profound message this blog bears. Life is about simple things. Gestures and actions of thoughtfulness make everyday life abundant, no matter how grim the weather.
Anytime you can, share your love or joy with someone. Inspiration gives birth to miracles, and feeling connected is the greatest of them all.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Signs of Hope.
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known...
There is nothing like the holiday season's ability to inspire us with joy or fill us with sorrow, practically at the same time. The melody of a familiar Christmas carol, the smell of cookies and pine, and the unpacking of family ornaments all have the potential to whisk our hearts back to happy moments. And it's a wonderful place to linger; memories of a cherished loved one are absolutely the greatest gift we can ever receive and hold dear.
Your loved ones in Spirit are aware of how much they are missed during celebrations, and they wish to make their loving presence known. Family traditions are often carried forward in honor of a special person who has passed away. If you stop and think about them for a moment, do you realize in doing that, you are sending a "sign" to a loved one in Spirit that YOU are with THEM?
Have you ever considered that perhaps your loved one is looking for a "sign" from you?
I'm often asked about specific signs from loved ones who have passed, and the answer is the same for everyone. Whatever makes you think of your loved one and causes you to feel something emotionally or physically in that moment, that's your sign. There are so many ways for a loved one in Spirit to share a loving thought with you. Perhaps you'll see their name printed on a magazine in an odd space, find coins, or hear a special song on the radio as you scan through the channels. I've shared my story many times about my own personal sign from my older brother who passed 19 years ago. For many years, I've been finding paper money in the strangest places, and often in odd amounts. I've had five dollar bills being pushed up in my garden with the daffodils on my birthday in May. Once, I stepped onto a pile of cash in an empty parking lot, $168, the exact amount I needed for a doctor visit that week. It took me a LONG TIME to see the connection: my brother's name is Bill. It's almost embarrassing that I didn't get it sooner !
A few weeks ago I received a spectacular message in the form of two blue jays. I had woken up early that morning, full of excitement to film an episode for a new TV show. (It will be airing in a few months!) As I sat down at my desk with coffee, I was immediately drawn to look out the window into the the garden. There, perched on the fence, were two gorgeous blue jays, yapping and squawking to get my attention. Perhaps it's not uncommon in the Upper Midwest, except that I have never once, in 12 years of living here, seen a blue jay in my neighborhood. With my curiosity piqued, I did an internet search to see what special meaning a blue jay holds in animal lore. This is what I found: "Blue jay people are learning to embrace a more exciting, flamboyant and glamorous life while at the same time fitting in wherever they choose to land. Blue jay arrives onto the scene with beauty, color, energy and commanding attention like royalty or stardom walking on the red carpet."
The perfect message for a day of working on TV!
My Blue Jay visit inspired me to paint this for a friend.
The comfort granted through a small sign from a loved one cannot be conveyed in earthly terms. Honestly, I believe it sometimes makes the difference between living a day in peace, and wishing you would have never awakened. We can't know the pain of another, but this time of year we all really need to dig deep and find gentle compassion for the newly-bereaved and for bereaved parents.
The first few years without a beloved parent present during the holiday celebrations can be very difficult. It's a quandary for those who have been blessed with strong, close, parent-child relationships. No one ever takes a happy moment with a loved one for granted but the truth is, there are some mothers who set the room aglow with their holiday cheer. Those moms who fill every heart with tender joy and every belly with her secret recipes. There's always that crazy cousin or uncle who is life of the party and thrills everyone with his wild stories while the laughter lasts all night long. They are missed terribly at the holidays!
It would be just like that crazy cousin to pull a prank as a sign from Spirit, wouldn't it? Perhaps lights flickering? And your mom might send you a sign in the form of a familiar smell while driving in a closed car. Perhaps a friend will randomly email you a quote that happened to be a favorite of your loved one in Spirit. Keep you heart and eyes open to the many ways you can be touched by love.
We have to keep on, in whatever way we can, and look for those unexpected moments of serendipity that prove we never face a day alone.
There is another way you can be graced with hope from a loved one without even realizing it's happening. At some point, we all come up against a bad day, when the grief just hurts and the loneliness is overwhelming. We huddle up somewhere safe and alone, and release the tears. Eventually the tears dry up, the tissues run out and we find ourselves getting back to business. It's in those quiet moments that the love of Spirit is flowing directly into your Soul. The power or prayer or intention is unlimited, and you need to know that your loved one is praying for you, thinking about you and sending you all the love in the universe in those moments of despair. So silent is the exchange that you are unaware, but somehow, someway, you found the strength to pick up and try again. It's a gift of grace.
Above all, be gentle during this season. Be gentle with yourself and everyone you meet. Walk slower, listen more, compromise when you can, forgive, forgive and forgive. Be the gift of love to everyone you encounter.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
The Gifts of Grief
It seems like an oxymoron to use the words "gift" and "grief" in the same sentence, yet, we have the free will to choose how we observe any occurrence in life.
Grief is usually described with every adjective imaginable that symbolizes energy loss.
In short, it sucks. It sucks our willpower, our joie de vivre, our hope and usually our dreams for the future, too. With time comes knowledge and some objectivity. When the loss is new, it is difficult to see anything resembling an offering from the Universe. Several years down the road however, those who are diligently doing inner spiritual work can list for you several important gifts that were disguised as lessons during the healing process of grieving.
It seems like an oxymoron to use the words "gift" and "grief" in the same sentence, yet, we have the free will to choose how we observe any occurrence in life.
Grief is usually described with every adjective imaginable that symbolizes energy loss.
In short, it sucks. It sucks our willpower, our joie de vivre, our hope and usually our dreams for the future, too. With time comes knowledge and some objectivity. When the loss is new, it is difficult to see anything resembling an offering from the Universe. Several years down the road however, those who are diligently doing inner spiritual work can list for you several important gifts that were disguised as lessons during the healing process of grieving.
Here are some of the most profound insights people have shared with me that arose as byproduct of their loss. If you are newly-bereaved, this list may give you hope for days that are a bit further down your path.
A deeper appreciation for the small, positive moments of life.
When people take a few minutes to reflect upon what they miss about a loved one who has died or left, I hear more about the small things people did than the big ones. The big things a wife might miss about her husband was his ability to take care of her and the family financially. Yet, if you ask her what she misses about him, the answers are always things like, "His roaring laugh." "He woke up before me every morning and made the coffee." "He always called me at lunch time." We may argue that we already appreciate how good we have it when a loved one is alive and well, but the value of such precious moments grows immeasurably when they are a memory instead of a present reality.
A need to correct misunderstandings as quickly as possible.
Your mother was right when she said not to go to bed angry. People die in their sleep; that's a reality. They also die suddenly from heart attacks, car accidents and natural disasters. There is never a better time to forgive and forget than right now. Reach out to someone with whom you have a discordant relationship, and offer the proverbial olive branch. Perhaps the differences cannot be resolved, but you can always let go with love instead of anger.
The ability to let go of differences and most disagreements.
My good friend Troy often says, "It just doesn't matter." The jewelry from your grandmother that you were supposed to inherit instead of your cousin? It just doesn't matter. That hateful comment posted on social media by someone you hardly know? It just doesn't matter. The friend who refuses to compromise? It just doesn't matter. Move on. Your life energy is more precious than money; be careful how and where you spend it. You could invest a lot of time into petty circumstances and consequently feel drained when something or someone truly worthwhile comes along.
A reduction in the fear of failure.
The biggest regrets in life are often the chances we don't take. This is not encouragement to repeat past mistakes; but sometimes our fears of failing, being humiliated, embarrassed, wrong or shamed prevent us from taking necessary risks in life to better our circumstances and relationships. The only guarantee in physical life is eventual death, and when you have dealt with that loss, it's possible to bury some of our fears with our loved ones. Life is meant for living and often the bereaved feel a new vitality surrounding their ability to try things that used to scare them.
Judgment of others is transformed into compassion.
When you have had to deal with loss due to suicide, drug abuse or tragic circumstances, your sense of compassion for the person dealing with the challenge/addiction/illness and their loved ones trying to cope with the situation is heightened immeasurably. As a naive person, it's quite easy to view a drug addict with a sense of disgust, but with experience comes wisdom. The ability to see another person for their light, bravery and connection to us through their Soul instead of their circumstances, is one of the most enlightened places from which to view the world. We need to see the addict as a Soul who needs unconditional love; the controlling individual as a Soul who needs additional security; the fearful human as someone who has been hurt and needs to be gently cared for. It always comes back to our collective, basic need for unconditional love. Do you accept that YOU need unconditional love, too? When we are able to let go of judgment in favor of compassion, we are able to give that same grace to ourselves.
In the wake of loss, this transformation gives us powerful new perspective to navigate the many changes of life.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Grief and the Soul's Journey
Here's a question I'm often asked:
When a loved one passes, can our feelings of grief and loss hold them to us or impede their journey in any way?
To the best of my knowledge and experience, the simple answer is no. Your feelings cannot alter the course of another Soul's eternal path. If that were possible, wouldn't they still be alive, right in your arms where you want them?
Here's a question I'm often asked:
When a loved one passes, can our feelings of grief and loss hold them to us or impede their journey in any way?
To the best of my knowledge and experience, the simple answer is no. Your feelings cannot alter the course of another Soul's eternal path. If that were possible, wouldn't they still be alive, right in your arms where you want them?
And if it were possible, wouldn't we also change the Soul's journey for loved ones who make destructive choices while here on earth? Anyone who has had a family member fall into substance addiction or abusive behavior has had to learn the very difficult art of letting go. It requires acceptance that we cannot control anyone's journey but our own. And so it is with our loved ones in Spirit.
Feelings of grief and despair are completely normal after a loved one dies. While we are experiencing these emotions, they feel foreign, terrible, unwanted, and we'd give nearly anything to rid ourselves of the pain. But none of those feelings can change the fact that grief is the normal reaction to the losing someone we love. Coping with those feelings as they arise on a day-to-day basis is difficult; accepting that your feelings are natural can help.
You are not alone in your sorrow. Grieving is a part of loving. The pain of loss is felt by all of humanity.
Yes, we feel the loss deeply. Yet our loved ones who have passed into Spirit are eternally connected to us through the bonds of love. No matter how many seasons pass, that bond always remains. Even if you recover. Even if you move on. Even if you find love with someone else. Even if you have another child. We are bound to time as a form of measurement here on the earthly plane, yet, in the eternal realm, our loved ones do not suffer from the same measurements. Our earthly lives are but a chapter in the whole story, and our loved ones in Spirit are able to observe and be aware of us from their dimension. The pain of separation we experience here on earth, is not their experience.
It's okay to feel your grief, as lousy as it is. Every wrenching moment of it is justified by your love. But you must not give up hope; grief, like all things, changes over time. Often it is transformed into a new perspective, a goal, or a sense of purpose. In fact, in time, many people are able to see and share the unexpected gifts loss has brought to them, such as:
- deeper compassion
- a closeness to nature
- a desire to be of service
- tolerance for human differences
- the ability to let go of petty grievances
These gifts are the phoenix rising from the ashes of our loss. Clouded by our sadness, they can sometimes go unnoticed. But if we are open to the possibility that we can learn from our loss, that we can create good from our sorrow, we will come to see that our grief and our continuing connection to Spirit can inspire us to breathe light and life into places of the heart we thought were gone forever. Maybe it's your Soul's journey, maybe it's the journey of your loved ones in Spirit, and maybe it's your shared path. In truth, in the midst of your loss, know that there is no greater legacy you could leave for those you are bonded to through eternity.
I hope you'll join me for an intimate evening of Spirit communication and messages. Click to my "Events" page to see all the cities.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.