Love Makes a Parent, Not DNA.
I kicked off the Fall Tour last week and had some wonderful messages about parenthood, adoption, abandonment and what it truly means to be a parent. At the event in Madison, an older gentleman come though, showing me a thick head of gray hair, giving me the names Mary* and Paul. A woman in the audience, Mary, recognized this to be her biological father who had given her up for adoption, whom she'd never met. It was a wonderful connection; a chance for him to recognize some of her accomplishments and also the difficulties she has endured.
I kicked off the Fall Tour season in Madison and Green Bay, Wisconsin this week and had some wonderful messages about parenthood, adoption, abandonment and what it truly means to be a parent. I love when we are able to share these experiences publicly in a group setting; the messages are healing to so many people. The healing continues, as I get validation over and over again from readers who are also healed by these stories.
At the event in Madison, an older gentleman come though, showing me a thick head of gray hair, giving me the names Mary* and Paul. A woman in the audience, Mary, recognized this to be her biological father who had given her up for adoption, whom she'd never met. It was a wonderful connection; a chance for him to recognize some of her accomplishments and also the difficulties she has endured. He explained that adoption wasn't his first choice; the situation had been out of his control. Mostly, he wanted her to know she is loved and wanted in this world and that from a spiritual standpoint, he is now supporting her. The father then brought the soul of Mary's deceased husband forward so he could also connect and create more healing. It was possibly one of the first acts of fatherly love that he was able to do for his daughter. Even after death, his desire to take care of her lives on. It was an emotional reading for everyone who witnessed it. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
After that connection, I got the name of Mike and a connection to a young man who had passed in his early 20s in a car accident. A woman recognized this to be her ex-brother-in-law. Mike's message was about how he wanted to let her know he was looking out for her daughter, his niece. He acknowledged that she has support from his side of the family in Spirit, to help with the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband. The woman was crying and I could feel her releasing her stress as she realized that her ex-husband's family validated her struggle and was supporting her in Spirit. People in Spirit are pretty great! I then heard Spirit communicate to me, "Allan is here for the woman next to her in the aisle." I shook my head incredulously, hardly believing it myself and asked the woman sitting next to her if she had an Allan in Spirit. She instantly cried out, "That was my biological father!" In this situation, due to his addiction issues, he was not able to be a great father, and wanted to validate to her that she really matters to him, and he is no longer having that struggle. The woman's mother (Allan's ex) was also in the audience and got a long overdue acknowledgement for all she had endured.
The theme continued in Green Bay, where a young woman's grandfather came through. After a few minutes of evidence and messages, the most incredible thing happened. He wanted me to communicate to her, "Your biggest dreams are coming true now." Through her tears she quietly sobbed and said, "That's all I needed tonight. I just needed to know if he was okay with my situation." She confessed that although she'd had a close, loving relationship with her grandfather, her father had not been very involved in her life. She had recently decided to allow her step-father to adopt her. She had been worried her grandfather would be upset that she had terminated his son's parental rights.
The grandfather's message was beautiful and profound, and terribly important for many people to hear: "It's not about who gives the DNA, it's about who gives you love."
Adoption and parent-child relationships are viewed with great love and understanding by those who have passed into the afterlife. I have connected many adoptees to biological parents in Spirit, whom they never knew in the physical world. There is often very little evidence that the child knows to validate, but somehow, someway, a little gem of knowledge proves the connection. It is incredibly validating and healing for the child. Likewise, I have had countless connections where someone comes through and they feel "like a parent." I have yet to feel an energetic difference between someone who was a biological parent and someone who adopted or simply chose to love someone as their child. The connection is about the love and the relationship. If that connection exists in life, it remains in death.
Being adopted can leave many unanswered questions, so having a posthumous connection that answers even a few of them can be a life-changing experience. I have seen tremendous healing happen time and time again when these Souls are reunited. There is always hope for a fresh start, even a fresh start that begins when the physical life ends.
*Names have been changed out of respect for the privacy of those who received messages, although the names given during the readings were accurate.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Receiving the Communication
In my last blog, I talked about how to validate the presence of a loved one's Soul. The final step when a loved one in Spirit visits you, is to receive the communication. This is where things get tricky for the untrained, and frankly, a place where skeptics might make a great point. "You can't talk to the dead!" Well, you can talk to them, but will they "talk" back? The answer: probably not. When the physical body has died, how can words and sounds be formed without the benefit of a voice box and mouth?
This is part three to the blogs posted on August 5 on Recognizing the Connection, and September 2 on Validating the Connection.
In my last blog, I talked about how to validate the presence of a loved one's Soul. The final step when a loved one in Spirit visits you, is to receive the communication. This is where things get tricky for the untrained, and frankly, a place where skeptics might make a great point. "You can't talk to the dead!" Well, you can talk to them, but will they "talk" back? The answer: probably not. When the physical body has died, how can words and sounds be formed without the benefit of a voice box and mouth? I hedge my answer with "probably not" because many people have reported literally hearing the voice of a loved one. This falls into the category of "phenomena" and is another topic altogether.
The most common way a loved one will communicate with us is through our thoughts. Good old mental telepathy. You've been doing it your whole life without realizing it. Think of all the times you've finished a friend's sentence, or suggested the exact word they needed when they were having a brain freeze, without any context. The way we receive mental telepathy is as a thought. It is easier to recognize it when you just allow it to enter your mind, without straining to make it happen. One way we can try to instigate communication is through meditation. I've received countless emails sort of like this:
Dear Mollie,
I've been meditating for two hours a day trying to connect with my loved one. I have a ringing in my ear. Is that my ability to hear them opening up?
Signed,
Losing it in Los Angeles
Dear Losing It,
Please get your ears checked.
Love, Mollie
Now, of course, I'm trying to make you laugh here, but the point of this is that mediation is a time for YOU. It's a wonderful practice of mindfulness that can help you deal with stress, and gain awareness of the subtleties of life that surround you. It's that same awareness that assists you as you open yourself to communication from a loved one.
During mental telepathy, your brain receives a thought that just pops into your head. The hallmark of this communication is that it seems out of context to your natural train of thoughts. Often, when communicating with another Soul, the information will be received along with a strong emotion. Have you heard about a man who experiences labor pains as his wife gives birth? That's not just an urban myth. His partner's energy is totally engaged as they create a new life. Many men feel both emotional and physical sensations during the birth of their child. It's a powerful energetic experience, and an example of how this ability is open to all of us. It's energy, not magic.
Take a moment and consider this: If you were in Spirit, and you knew your loved one was not great at mental telepathy, and you WISHED to get a strong message to them, what would you want to convey?
Ninety percent of you just answered in your head, "I love you." Ten percent answered, "I'm okay." and the other ten percent are trying to communicate, "The money is in a tin can in the garage!" :-)
To tie together the three steps of typical communication with Spirit, let's review them.
- You become flooded with thoughts of a loved one that interrupt your own thoughts.
- You sense and feel a shift or change in the energy around you.
- You receive a short, powerful thought that just pops into your mind.
Often mental telepathy from a loved one can be awesome, specific and as unique as they were. Here are some stories people have shared with me:
- "I was able to sit down and channel a letter from my son. It was like he was dictating to me as I typed."
- I heard my mother's voice in my mind, just the way I remembered her, reciting a little quote she always used."
- "I could feel my Dad with me, and then the lyrics to his favorite song started running through my mind."
- "I swear I felt my husband's presence and then the thought popped into my mind, "I love you." I was afraid it was too good to be true, but he used to say it to me every single day. Now I know it's really him and I answer back."
People often ask me, "Should I speak out loud to our loved ones or in our mind?" Either way works great! For myself, I communicate with my brother in Spirit by thought, except when I am particularly desperate for some divine intervention. Then believe me, I can be heard from Green Bay to Chicago!
Have fun with your practice. Try to consider it a joyful experiment and and remember you have nothing to lose. Best of all, you have the amazing potential to create a connection with someone you love.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Validating the Connection
To validate the presence of a loved one's Soul in a particular moment, you can rely upon your physical sensations. We have all been sensing and feeling energy our entire lives, and perhaps you have never paused to give it much thought. Think of a time when you visited a place like the Alamo in Texas, or Alcatraz prison in San Francisco. Both of these old jails hold lots of energy, and many people report getting a particular feeling while there. Examples would be having goosebumps, or the "heebie jeebies" or the hair on the back of your neck standing up.
This is part two to the blog posted on August 5 on Recognizing the Connection. If you missed it, you can read it here.
Now that you are able to recognize those moments when you suddenly become flooded with thoughts of a loved one as the beginning of a spiritual connection, you are going to want to validate that it's really happening. Almost everyone feels a little bit crazy wondering, "Is this real?" when they learn how to connect on the energetic level of mental telepathy.
Personally, I enjoy being a bit crazy. At least I'm not boring. :-)
To validate the presence of a loved one's Soul in a particular moment, you can rely upon your physical sensations. We have all been sensing and feeling energy our entire lives, and perhaps you have never paused to give it much thought. Think of a time when you visited a place like the Alamo in Texas, or Alcatraz prison in San Francisco. Both of these old jails hold lots of energy, and many people report getting a particular feeling while there. Examples would be having goosebumps, or the "heebie jeebies" or the hair on the back of your neck standing up. Our bodies, in particular our largest organ, the skin, react to energy and create a physical sensation that we can definitely and easily feel. Along the same lines, we can visit a beautiful, sacred space like the Sistine Chapel and feel a profound sense of peace or relaxation while we are there. Now, no one is giving you a shoulder massage or actually touching you, yet, the feeling is very real.
This reminds me of that old cliche about when there has been a fight in a room, "The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife!" Having a fight can create a huge mass of angry energy, and yes, many people can feel that once it's over! The ancient practice of smudging, or clearing the energy of a space by burning sage, is often used at times like this to spiritually purify an area. I like to smudge my home after a big party, illness or any other disturbance to set the energy back to clear and clean. Sometimes I think the intention is just as good as the actual act of burning sage. I'm not a huge fan of the smoke, and my children used to freak out if I did in their bedrooms screaming, "It's smells like pot in here!" (pretty sure I wouldn't smoke pot in my kid's bedrooms...) Ha! Sometimes I just walk through the room with a spritzer of purified water with orange essential oil in it and use that to clear the energy. It really is about the intention. You can also do it by lighting a candle and offering a prayer or ringing a bell.
Giving some thought and words to the way you sense and perceive energy on an everyday basis will help you feel the energy of your loved one, which can be a very validating comfort to you. One way that I become aware of the presence of a Soul wishing to communicate is through a very strong sensation, similar to being on an airplane when the cabin is pressurized before take off. It's almost like an energetic buzzing; my heart starts racing and I feel almost as if I'm experiencing anxiety.
Everyone is unique. Many people have relayed their experiences of feeling the presence of a loved one's Soul to me and this is what they say:
- "I had a warmth flood over me."
- "I got the chills!"
- "I could feel someone gently touch my cheek or shoulder."
- "I could almost feel my deceased dog brush against my leg."
It's going to be a little different for everyone. My suggestion is this: the next time you become suddenly flooded with thoughts of a loved one, close your eyes and tune in to your body to see if you can validate their presence with you by feeling their Soul energy. If you get really good at this, you may begin to notice that your deceased loved ones all "feel" slightly different to you. We are all unique in our energetic make-up. You can even practice this theory with the living. Often, if you do a blind test, and try to guess which family member is standing behind you, you'll get it right. Try it at your next holiday gathering.
Next week I'll address part three in this series, which will cover how to receive the communication.
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 – All Rights Reserved
Opening Up About Suicide
With the news of Robin Williams's passing on August 11, it seemed all of America was simultaneously heartbroken and what I refer to as: heart-awoken. There are few circumstances more difficult to deal with than a loved one's suicide. A suicide always creates more questions than answers, even when a note is left.
While Robin's passing is an absolute tragedy, it is also an opportunity to create open conversation. Talking about suicide is still, too often, taboo. Many people try to cover it up, or paint a different picture and pray no one will learn the secret of how their loved one passed.
It's an awful state of affairs...
With the news of Robin Williams's passing on August 11, it seemed all of America was simultaneously heartbroken and what I refer to as: heart-awoken. There are few circumstances more difficult to deal with than a loved one's suicide. A suicide always creates more questions than answers, even when a note is left.
While Robin's passing is an absolute tragedy, it is also an opportunity to create open conversation. Talking about suicide is still, too often, taboo. Many people try to cover it up, or paint a different picture and pray no one will learn the secret of how their loved one passed.
It's an awful state of affairs. Not only do survivors have to deal with a monumental loss, they are also left to sift through inevitable guilt that they missed clues, or could have prevented the passing. Worse, all of that grief and guilt is covered with huge amounts of shame.
It's time to change. It's REALLY time to change.
Many years ago I became involved with a group called The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors. What struck me was that it isn't a suicide prevention group, but an online support group for the survivors. In a conversation with the founder, Ronnie Susan Walker, she said something to me that I will never forget.
"Preventing suicide is much more challenging than most people realize. Suicide is not a disease like measles or polio. There is no one simple solution. There are many different kinds of people, dealing with many different kinds of circumstances, who end their lives."
As a medium, this really struck a chord with me. When I am conducting a session with a person who is bereaved by suicide, we often delve into what led the person to end his or her life. The action to end one's own life is absolutely the hardest anyone could ever take. Often it stems from a lack of hope that a life circumstance could change. We can rationally sit here and say, "But, there is always hope!" However, not everyone can see that light, and not everyone can feel that connection to a better day.
I have found time and time again that a person with suicidal thoughts can have a drink or even a small amount of a substance in their body and the actions they take are much different than if they had been clear-headed. Many people whose lives end by their own hand didn't expect that they would actually die. This is where lines blur and things get really tricky. A person can pass from an overdose, the world labels it a suicide, and yet, that person may have never intended to end his or her life.
What I want everyone to know is that someone who ends his or her life is not necessarily:
- mentally ill
- suffering from acute depression
- trying to hurt anyone
- by any means, a bad person
- an out-of-control teenager
We really need to stop labeling and stuffing situations into boxes shaped by society, that do not fit the situation.
How can we overcome this? By remembering that a person who is bereaved by suicide needs the extra support of family and friends. They need understanding; first and foremost, they are suffering the loss of a dear loved one. It doesn't matter how their loved one passed; what matters is how they lived. A suicide survivor needs constant reassurance that their loved one is cherished, valued and held in high esteem.
The guilt and shame have got to go. And we can begin eradicating them by opening up the conversation about suicide. It isn't always easy. In fact, as far as our human interpretation of the Spirit world goes, it doesn't get much more complicated. People get pretty set in their beliefs. Someone sent me a note last year letting me know that, "The Pope did away with limbo." I think this was supposed to be great news for the millions of Souls who may have been sent there as a "punishment" for ending their lives. As I read it, all I could think was that it's almost as ridiculous to assume limbo exists as it is to think someone could simply do away with it.
Here is what I can share based on my experiences in connecting with hundreds who have ended their lives.
They are greeted and welcomed into the afterlife by people who love them and are given the opportunity to heal. They are released from the heavy burdens of illness and given the unconditional love and acceptance they need. Those who have ended their life are given the same acceptance, healing and opportunity to continue to work on their spiritual progress that every other soul is given. Those who end their lives cross over, just as other souls do; there is no middle ground where they get stuck. The communication works exactly the same way as it would if the person had passed from old age in their sleep.
In my work, I have never encountered a case different from this experience. Absolutely everyone I have connected with fits this description.
What does all this mean?
It's time to let go. To let go of the labels. The judgment. The shame. The guilt.
There is hope for healing, especially for the survivors. Please visit the forums of the Alliance of Hope to find support and solidarity in those who have walked the path.
Whether you are bereaved by suicide or not, this is a great time to do some self-work on the shame, guilt and vulnerability issues most of us have in the Western World. One of my favorite authors is Brene Brown, and her newest book, "Daring Greatly" can help anyone live a life that is more authentic and enable us to connect on a deeper level by addressing shame issues. I highly suggest reading her book, taking a look at her website, and her TED talks:
- Vulnerability (Ted Talk)
- Shame (Ted Talk)
- Daring Greatly (E-Book)
I hope you'll join me for an evening of Spirit communication and messages.
Click to my "Events" page to see all the cities.
©Mollie Morning Star 2015 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
An RSVP from Spirit.
Many of you can relate to the difficultly of celebrating a major life event without someone you dearly love present in the physical body. This past weekend I had the wonderful fortune of attending my brother's wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. Trevor and his fiancée, Guneeta, have been together nearly 11 years. They have seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, including the recent loss of Guneeta's dear father.
This past weekend I had the wonderful fortune of attending my brother's wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. Trevor and his fiancée, Guneeta, have been together nearly 11 years. They have seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, including the recent loss of Guneeta's dear father. Many of you can relate to the difficultly of celebrating a major life event without someone you dearly love present in the physical body.
Her family is Indian, from Punjab, and it was a mostly traditional Sikh wedding. I've never experienced anything like it, and it was so incredibly fun and colorful, it blew my mind! As soon as we landed on Friday morning, we received a text telling us to get to the house right away because wedding festivities were already underway. We were immediately immersed in a ceremony in the living room, with about 40 family members. They laid out a yellow cloth for the bride to sit upon, and she entered the room in a brilliant yellow dress, fully adorned with embroidery and beading. It was magnificent. Her cousins held a red cloth over her head, symbolizing good luck. Because her father has passed away, the bride's Uncle stood in for her Dad in the ceremony, and placed bangles on her arms, meant to stay in place for the entire first year of marriage. It was an emotional moment for everyone in the family, who lovingly wiped away tears.
I wish I could say something incredible happened to show the father of the bride was with us spiritually; you know, like his picture went flying off the wall or something even more outrageous. But like most life events, we had to rely upon feeling his love and presence.
In loving memory of Wg. Cdr. J.S. Ahluwalia.
The ceremony itself was held the next morning at a gurdwara, the place of worship for Sikhs. I was in awe of the colors, drumming, chanting and immense love that her huge family poured out to ours. With a pink sash, Trevor led Guneeta around the altar four times; it was so heartwarming to see my brother participating in this sacred ceremony.
Enjoy this 3 minute video of the events and ceremony.
The fun was only beginning, and the reception was the most fun I've ever had! Amazing music, dances by her cousins and aunts, drumming, fragrant food and even more breathtaking dresses than we had worn in the morning! They guests were seriously the most beautiful bunch of people I have ever seen. Trevor did some belly dancing with the cousins and I laughed so hard tears rolled down my face. He's not a dancer...I mean, there is no rhythm there. Guneeta did a special song and dance for him, which again, was just really amazing. It made me want to sign up for more belly dancing classes.
At the reception and ready to dance the night away!
Later, Guneeta and I had a chance to talk about her Dad, and I asked if she had felt his presence during the week, or if she had recognized any signs from him lately. She said she had really felt him with her while they were taking pictures by the river. Apparently, out of nowhere, a misty fog had hovered over the water. In that moment thoughts of her Dad flooded over her, and she felt as if he were there with her.
She also shared that she recently ran the Tough Mudder in his honor. She was talking to him in the car on the way to the race, asking for his support. When she opened the door to exit, her eyes landed on a little rock on the ground. She bent over, picked it up, and saw it was in a perfect heart shape. Again, she said she was comforted by feeling his presence and love in that moment.
Most of us will have to face a milestone without someone we love. It's helpful to remember, though they can't submit an RSVP, they plan to attend in their own way. A person who has transitioned to the Spirit world is able to influence our thoughts most easily, making their presence known by a sudden flooding of thoughts of them, and by those sweet mental whispers of, "I love you, I am here."
When you face one of those celebrations without the presence of someone important to you, remember to try and feel their love. They wouldn't miss it for the world!
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.
Recognizing the Connection.
One of the questions I am often asked is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help.
One of the questions I am often asked is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help. A few years ago popular TV shows led everyone to believe a medium could literally SEE and HEAR the dead. You know, like we'd have a straight up conversation with a ghost. (And that the dead could be stuck in spiritual limbo and need to be rescued, I might add.) Now everyone thinks a medium will jump unsuspecting grocery store shoppers and make them cry. Again, not very realistic. It makes for an entertaining show, but it's far from the reality of spiritual connection.
The easiest way to make a connection with a loved one is by letting it happen naturally. When a Soul doesn't occupy a physical body, they use the energy of thought to communicate. The very first clue you will get when a loved one is connecting with you is a sudden flood of thoughts about them. This most often happens when you least expect it and your mind is busy with another task. It's like being at work on a random Tuesday, with a calculator out, balancing the budget. Then, BOOM! Out of nowhere, you start thinking of your loved one who passed away.
We've all had the experience of randomly thinking of someone right before they call us, and answering the phone with, "Hey! I was just thinking about you! Weird!" That's how this Spirit communication thing works, too!
Our tendency is to dismiss the thought, and return to the task at hand. Yet when we do that, we are likely missing the opportunity to connect more fully with our loved ones. If it seems impossible that it could be that simple, keep in mind, there really are very few Big Bang-type signs from a loved one who has passed. But connection and communication can happen daily if you are willing to accept that most of the communication comes in softly, with no drama; floating on the energy of a thought.
Last week I was out for a bike ride while speaking to my stepmom, Sharon, through a hands-free telephone device. There I was in the hot sun, panting, sweating and trying to ride uphill. We had been talking about cake, when suddenly, I started thinking about her deceased mother.
I paused our cake conversation and asked, "Sharon, how is your mom doing? Have you heard from her lately?"
One of the funny things about being a close friend or family member of mine is we all ask each other if we've "heard from" the dead in the same way we'd ask how any living family member is doing.
"Well, I think she's doing pretty well. I have been thinking a lot about her lately though."
"Ahh, well I think she wants to pass a message on to you, is that all right with you? She keeps saying Shirley to me, do you know a Shirley?"
"Oh, yes, Shirley is a friend of mine. She's in the hospital and having a really hard time. I visited her yesterday."
Because I was able to recognize the interruptive thought about Sharon's mother as the first sign of connection, I was able to tune in and pass along the message about Shirley.
You, too, have the ability to connect with your loved ones in a meaningful way--no hands-free device required--and chances are, they are eager to pass along messages to you. There's no need to wait for someone with a camera crew to accost you in the veggie aisle of the grocery store; it's far more subtle than that! Simply pay attention to your thoughts. If you start thinking of a loved one out of the blue, don't dismiss it out of hand. Instead, try saying "Hello!" to them. Then listen, open yourself to the messages that follow. Who knows? Perhaps the connection you've hungered for most has been on hold, just waiting for you to pick up.
©Mollie Morning Star 2014 Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.